Random Ramblings Of A BlogAholic » Writing

How Do You Know When It’s Right?

Bryan — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 20:48:03 +0000

This is a question that I’ve been asking myself from about as far back as I can remember. Well, at least somewhere back around the time I became interested in girls. Come to think of it, I’ve been interested in girls from as far back as I can remember. Sheesh, that IS a long time.

Hard to believe I’ve been struggling with this question for that long. How will I know when it’s right? How will I ever be able to tell when I’ve met THE ONE? This just has to be one of the most often asked questions, regardless of gender.

I’ll bet even the Cavemen were asking this very question as well. I kinda wonder if they just knew it by the feeling of their hair as they drug them into their caves. I’m not thinkin’ communication was a huge part of a relationship back then.

I can remember my Dad telling me, “Oh, you’ll know when it’s right.” What kind of a lame answer is that? That seems to be the default answer that every parent read in “Raising Your Children for DUMMIES”. Haven’t we all heard that standard answer about a million times?

Sure, as kids we fall for it about the first three or four hundred times but after that, we begin to question the logic behind such a theory. At that point, we don’t even know how to drive a car, how in the hell are we supposed to know if she’s THE ONE? Our one and only, our destiny, our soulmate?

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s a feeling you’ll get inside. You’ll know when it’s right”. Huh? Inside where? Based on that theory, I’ve met the one on more than one occasion. And let me tell you, it’s pretty damn obvious at this point that they weren’t the one. At least not the one I dream about anyway.

And besides, what exactly is this feeling that I’m supposed to be getting? Is it a peaceful, serene, quiet inside type of thing or is it a full on frustrating, raging sexual tension kinda thing? It’s comical how those that say that I’ll know it when I feel it sure as hell are lousy at describing the feeling themselves.

If they found it so easily, and knew they had found it then it seems to me that they should sure be able to describe it just as easily. But all to often that doesn’t seem to be the case. Nope, not at all. In fact, completely the opposite.

Most of those that you ask just seem to begin staring at the floor, shuffling their feet in hopes that it’s all a bad dream and the question will somehow just disappear, back to whence it came. But no such luck. This is a question that demands an answer. An answer to an as yet unsolved mystery.

So as the questionee begins to ponder all of the possible answers they could give in an effort to just get it over with and answer the question at hand, their mind goes into hyper~drive and the smoke starts pouring out of their ears.

Not only do they not have a legitimate answer, now they find themselves swimming in a sea of self doubt, wondering as to whether or not they themselves ended up with their one and only. After all the questions they asked themselves before they ever made their connection, did they make the right choice?

No doubt they were so sure at the time, not a question in their mind but for some strange reason things aren’t so cut ‘n dry for them any more. So they start mumbling some kinda mumbo jumbo, praying that their phone will magically ring, allowing them to get out of answering the original question.

Noticing the extreme anguish on their face, it’s probably best to just withdraw the question at this point. No need to cause a divorce over a stupid question, right? Well, it’s not that it’s a totally stupid question, just one that isn’t all that easily answered. No matter how easy you think it is.

Perhaps that’s because it’s more of a feeling rather than a thought, a process of elimination. Assessing all of your feelings, both positive and negative as they pertain to the person you desire to be with and then coming to a conclusion of sorts, which would make complete sense as I truly believe that the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is a decision that will have to be made by you, not an outsider so to speak. But for some reason that sounds entirely too logical.

While their input and advice can be a welcome thing in this situation, ultimately it’s you that is going to have to decide what’s right for you. Oh, and I guess the person that you’re planning on spending the rest of eternity with should have a bit of a say in this decision as well. I mean, it’s only fair.

After all, this is a huge decision. For both of you. This pretty much spells the end of the road as it were, the end of the dating road. Which as we all know can be a huge blessing. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, DATING SUCKS!

At least for most people it does. Yes, there are some serial daters out there that have made dating their lifes mission, seemingly never wanting it to end. Kinda like those kids that stay in college for 14 years and never graduate. The real world can be a scary thing, same as a real relationship. So much better to hide in the Land Of No Commitment, the home of zero expectations.

I would have to believe that almost everyone would rather be in a monogamous, committed relationship but find it so much easier to just skate through life, single and scammin’.

Like a rock skipping across a pond. Never really landing anywhere stable, just droppin’ by only long enough to get some traction for another leap towards who knows where, movin’ on to something seemingly bigger and better.

But as we all know, eventually that rock sinks into the muddy, murky depths below, never to be heard from again. And so it is with the dating world. All those years of going from pit stop to pit stop will surely leave you stuck in the pits. Doesn’t sound very appealing to me, that’s for sure.

But the other side to that dreadful race to nowhereville is the other form of hell, known as settling. Yep, in essence giving up and doing whatever it takes, basically sacrificing your soul to avoid being alone. Surely that’s not the answer. Is it?

Damn I hope not because to me, that’s just as miserable, if not more so than being alone. I’m sure we’ve all known plenty of people that although they aren’t physically alone, they are some of the loneliest people on earth. Married, kids, the whole nine yards, yet they are so unhappy and only wish they were single again.

How terrible would that be to know that you’re in a relationship with someone that you aren’t attracted to, have nothing in common with and have zero connection to. Besides a Marriage License of course. Yet, in essence you’re stuck with that person forever. I’ll take being single and alone over that prison any day of the week.

I truly don’t believe that life was meant to be spent alone. Sure, it might appear to be an easier way to live. In theory you can avoid all of the heartache, heart break and disappointment that some relationships tend to entail. But you’ll also miss out on all of the joy, happiness and bliss that comes from finding the one. From spending your life with your true love.

Although I have yet to meet my one and only, I know it’s only a matter of time before I do. And I also know that it will be worth all of the heartache I’ve had to endure along the way. It’s like they say, without the bad, how would we know when things are good? And I have no doubt that’s true.

Of course it totally sucks (ok, MAJORLY totally sucks!) when you’re going through all of those bad times and it’s even worse when some well meaning individual tells you that it just wasn’t meant to be, which at that point is pretty much the last thing you want to hear.

Eventually though, once you scrape up what’s left of your heart off the hot asphalt with a worn out spatula (how’s that for a visual?) and begin to trudge the long and lonely road ahead once again, you come to realize that it never would have worked for the long haul and to continue on would have just been futile.

And for me, it has to be able to stand the test of time. I want a long term, monogamous, commited relationship and I refuse to bring my heart out of hiding for anything less than that. Why risk all that heartbreak on a connection that doesn’t show all the signs of having that possibility? No thank you, not interested.

Problem is, in your mind you were thinking that maybe she could be the one but once you begin to be honest, with yourself and who you truly are on the inside, you have to admit that although you knew it wasn’t totally there for you, perhaps the compromises that you were willing to make just wouldn’t have been worth it in the long run.

I have no doubt that true love does exist and it will require some sacrifices and to some extent you also have to make compromises. But that isn’t to say that you must compromise who you are, on the inside, for another person.

Once you begin to change who you are as a person and what you truly want in a relationship for the sake of not being alone, that is a sure guarantee that you will never be happy in the end.

With over six billion people on the planet, you’d have to think that there’s someone, a soulmate, a one and only, out there for everyone. The problem is, how on earth do you find your soulmate? And when and if you are lucky enough to find your one and only, how will you know for sure that this person is THE ONE? Oh, you’ll just know…..

Have you found yourself wondering when and IF you’ll ever find THE ONE and how you’ll know when you do? I’d appreciate hearing your feelings about your quest for your soulmate and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

Dreams Really CAN Come True!

Bryan — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 09:37:00 +0000

“Wake Up! Hey, wake up!” I heard a voice, not sure who’s it was but it was seemingly directed towards me. Only one problem, I wasn’t asleep! Therefore, why on earth would someone be saying that to me?

As I looked around, I couldn’t see anyone anywhere near me. Certainly not close enough to me that I’d be able to hear their voice so clearly, so distinctly. That’s why I picked this beach, seems like it’s always empty. Just the way I like it. No, make that just the way I love it!

Which I could never quite figure out. I mean, how can a place like this EVER be so deserted? I’d have to think that this place would be crowded, even at midnight. Yet, here I was, all alone, seemingly surrounded by what appeared to me to be literally mile after mile of endless white sand.

The crystal clear turquoise water, lapping at the shore, the sun glistening off of everything it touched. Beautiful cliffs shooting straight up from the pure white sand, like skyscrapers on their way to heaven. I couldn’t help but think to myself that this is truly as close as one can get to heaven on earth.

Everywhere I look, I see something even more beautiful than what I was just looking at the minute before. The surroundings are just more astonishing than anything I could have ever imagined. And believe you me, I’ve imagined visiting Greece from as far back as I can remember.

I believe what really struck me were the views. It was as if you were looking out across an endless azure sea, dotted with so many islands that you couldn’t begin to count them all. I dreamt of sailing to each and every one of the islands, searching and exploring every nook and cranny, discovering all of the hidden jewels that each had to offer.

I could feel my mind wandering, drifting off and imagining what it must have been like to sail the Mediterranian Sea 150 years ago, each of the Isles just awaiting the arrival of some unknown explorer.

As I look back, I’d have to think that this fantasy was born from my numerous trips to Disneyland as a kid. Being born in Anaheim, D~Land was a mandatory part of growing up. Just as the Pirates of the Caribbean and the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House were guaranteed stops during each visit to the Magic Kingdom.

I absolutely loved both of those rides, along with another adventure unto itself, the triple masted sailing vessel Columbia was another huge memory maker for me. Cruisin’ around Frontierland in that giant ship, so high up off the water, I couldn’t help but think about sailing around the world in search of buried treasure.

Yes, I have no doubt that my affinity for Greece was born around this very time. And as I got older, I began to appreciate the architecture of all of the stark white buildings seemingly stacked, one on top of each other so perfectly yet precariously balanced on the sheer cliffs that are the Greek Isles.

The beautiful variety of contrasting colors of the roofs being the only telling sign that all of the houses weren’t just figments of ones imagination. No, they were most definitely real and to think that people actually lived in such an incredible place has amazed me my entire life.

And while we’ve all experienced seeing pictures of a dream destination, only to find upon arrival (think Chevy Chase in the movie ‘Vacation’, arriving at that Campground in Colorado) that it never lived up to everything we had imagined, I have yet to hear of anyone whos life wasn’t completely changed and changed for the better by visiting Greece.

I can already tell, even though I’ve only just now gotten here that my outlook on life will never be the same. Everything I’ve seen so far has been unbelievable and to think it’s only day one. I can hardly wait to see more.

The only thing that continues to cross my mind is that neverending question of why. Why did it take me so long to finally fulfill a dream that I’ve had almost my entire life?

Then I caught myself getting so wrapped up in the past rather than concentrating on enjoying the splendor of the present and so I immediately began to reimmurse myself in my spectacular surrroundings. As they say, so much to do, so little time and so I allowed my mind to wander off again, to all of the surprises that the next two weeks held in store for me.

“HEY, WAKE UP!!! It’s after 5:00 and we wanna lock up the office.” Huh? This time the voice was so close, I just knew this person was talking to me. But I thought to myself, Office? What office? As far as I know they don’t have any offices on the beach in Greece.

As I recall I awoke to a colleague, having grabbed me by the shoulder and jostling me from side to side, telling me that I had a piece of paper stuck to the side of my face.

A piece of paper stuck to the side of my face? My intital response was “Yeah, right!” but then as I spoke, I felt something weird on the side of my face and as I reached for it, sure enough, it was a piece of paper. How the heck did that get there?

You guessed it. Apparently I WAS asleep (and obviously to my shagrin, I had been drooling as well, hence the paper stuck to my cheek. Beautiful…) and all of this was just a dream.

My visit to the land of the Acropolis, relaxing poolside in Santorini, eating at an exquisite outdoor cafe while enjoying everything that Greece has to offer, every fabulous minute of it was just exactly that, a dream. What a shame. I’m sure the disappointment was written all over my face, along with some ink from the piece of paper that was stuck to my face as well.

I couldn’t keep my mind off of it all throughout the drive home and as I pulled in my driveway, I said to myself, “That’s it! Enough is enough. Life is too short, I’m not messin’ around any more.” It was at that very moment that I vowed to myself that I was finally going to do it. I was going to fulfill a life long dream. I’m going to Greece!

And so just as soon as I walked in the door, I headed straight for my computer. I instantly Googled ‘Vacations in Greece’ and after quite a bit of research I struck gold. I was able to connect with a Guide that has been traveling to Greece since she was a child and with her Greek ancestory, she knows all the ins ‘n outs of this beautiful destination.

Which means no time wasted on finding this, searching for that, the itinerary is just as fast or as slow paced as you want it to be. Not everyone is on the same schedule or has the same idea of just exactly what a Holiday means to them.

Some people prefer a faster pace, wanting to squeeze in anything and everything they can, every minute of the day, while others want to take a more leisurely and relaxed approach, choosing to enjoy a simpler daily plan.

Which ever pace you prefer, the choice is yours. There’s no end to what you can do….or you can just do nothing if that’s what you enjoy. If all you’re after is two weeks of rest and relaxation in one of the most beautiful places on earth, then this trip to Greece is for you.

Don’t make the same mistake I made, continuing to put it off until who knows when. Until the time is just right? There’s never been a better time to go than right now! If you’ve EVER had the dream of visiting Greece, why not check out www.livelaughlovegreece.blogspot.com to see the many fabulous pictures of previous excursions to this wonderful destination and to get a better idea of the Trip’s Itinerary and all of the amazing adventures that await you. One thing’s for sure, I’m glad I did and I know you’ll be glad you did as well. OPA!!!!

If you’ve ever dreamed of taking the vacation of a lifetime, yet have continually put it off until the time was just right like I have, why not take a look at www.livelaughlovetours.com to see all they have to offer as they visit many other wonderful destinations around the globe and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends or anyone else you can think of that just needs a bit of a nudge to help them on their way to the vacation of their dreams! I know they’ll thank you for it.

Is WORK A Four Letter Word?

Bryan — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 02:09:49 +0000

Hmmmmm, can work actually be fun? Am I really THAT stupid? What kind of a question is that? Of course it can’t. Everybody knows that work HAS to suck. In fact I think it’s one of the Ten Commandments or at the very least it’s written in the Declaration Of Independence.

I know it has to be written down somewhere, some kind of Law that says that work and fun should never coexist. Like oil and water, they just don’t mix, no matter how much you try and shake ‘em up.

In fact, I think work is one of those four letter words that can only be mentioned in certain circumstances. You know what I’m talkin’ about, the ones that will get your mouth washed out with soap if you utter them in front of the wrong people.

But I find myself questioning this logic. Who started this whole thing of thinking that whatever you do to earn a living has to make you completely miserable? I don’t think it could have started as far back as the Caveman days, could it? I mean, they didn’t really have to earn a living, so to speak. Their main thing in life was survival.

Whether is was scroungin’ around for food or protecting themselves against a low flyin’ Pterodactyl, survival was key. Hmmmm, now that I think about it, perhaps this WAS the first instance of earning a living. After all, you need to be alive to live.

Before the exchange of so called money came into existence, the Barter System was the method of choice for getting ahead in life. If you wanted something, you better have something to trade for it. Which is kinda funny because bartering is still in use today.

In fact, just the other day, I watched a video of a guy that bartered his way from a red paper clip on up to a house. Yes, I said A HOUSE! Which he has since gone on to trade for a Cafe’. It was actually a pretty amazing story, well documented and no doubt he was able to meet so many people and have quite a few great experiences along the way.

I guess some things never get old. Free Trade has been a major building block of the world as we know it. Without it, where would we be today? One can only guess at all the things we wouldn’t be able to enjoy.

Here again though, I’d have to think that this method of survival probably wasn’t a whole lot of fun back in the ol’ days. No doubt either one or both parties would feel as if they got ripped off and wanted to cancel the trade but making somebody mad in those days probably wasn’t a good idea. So what if you ended up with a purple Dinosaur, at least you’d be able to feed your family.

Apparently the first use of an actual Monetary System didn’t come around until about 650 B.C. Perhaps this is when work first began to be considered dreadful. Once you had to break your back for someone else in order to feed your family, I’d have to think this was also about the same time that work became a four letter word. I can hear the bitchin’ and moanin’ from here.

Jeez, if it started this far back, no wonder people are so angry about having to go to work. Generation after generation, passing down their disdain for the mere thought of the word work would no doubt create an endless amount of hatred towards the mere thought alone. Not to mention the actual physical task itself.

Yet work is what me must do. Must do to survive in this world. And for the most part, if we want to get ahead in life, we must work even harder. Therefore it stands to reason that if we want more out of life, it will come at the cost of living an even more miserable existence. Something about this just doesn’t seem very appealing, at least not to me anyway.

Kinda seems like an inspiration killer for the most part. The harder you work, the more miserable you are? Just not making any sense to me. There HAS to be some sort of a mistake here. Who on earth invented this system anyway? Some kind of masochist? Must have been. Nobody in his right mind would have devised such a dream killer.

And to add insult to injury, who came up with this schedule of having to work five days and only have two off? Sounds pretty damn lopsided if you ask me. C’mon, doing something that you absolutely despise for five long, miserable days of the week, only to get two days to attempt some form of recovery and then to go right back to hell for another five days. Obviously this system is seriously flawed.

I wonder if anyone else has realized this? I mean somebody else has to have noticed by now that this entire work thing, this system as it were is messed up and in a big way. And if they have noticed, why on earth haven’t they done something to fix it?

Come to think of it, I guess they tried, if you can call it that. Yeah, they have implemented the four day, ten hours a day, work week in certain instances and while that might help, it’s surely not the best answer.

Either is the telecommuting thing, that’s most likely the best alternative as it eliminates lots of the nightmare of the five day workathon but it doesn’t completely remove the issue of spending your days performing a task that you hate.

So where does that leave us? We know we need money to survive. In most cases, in order to make money, we have to work. Ok, so basically what it breaks down to is we need to work to survive. But where does it say that we have to hate what we do for work?

I checked out the Ten Commandments and didn’t see anything about it in there. Same with the Declaration, nothing there either. I even went as far as Googling ‘MUST HATE YOUR JOB’ and couldn’t find anything anywhere that stated that you must be miserable for a minimum of forty hours per week, half days on Saturdays and most Holidays when the rest of your family is at the beach. Nope, nothin’.

Then how did all of this BS get started in the first place? Perhaps it was handed down to us by our parents? That along with all the other outside influences that helped shape our upbringing, who undoubtedly passed down the information that they received as children.

Who knows, maybe it was our own assumption, based on seeing just how unhappy our parents were Monday through Friday and realizing at an early age just how precious the weekends were. How those two days were the reward for surviving the previous five days.

Regardless of how it happened, we grew up knowing that work must suck. No doubt whatsoever. That’s why it’s called work instead of fun. Notice the different amount of letters in each word? Yes, work is a four letter word and fun isn’t. I have a feelin’ it was planned that way.

Ok then, what are we gonna do about this? Nothing? Just continue on status quo? Or can we change this entire scenario around so that we’re able to enjoy our work? Yes, I said it. Crazy as it may seem, I believe there is a great possibility of earning a living while doing something that you truly enjoy.

Stay with me on this. Think about it for just a second. Is it entirely out of the realm of possibility to believe that you could make money doing something you enjoy? Of course not. Think about all of those people all over the world, right now, who are making a living doing what it is that you like to do. So why NOT you? Why not just go for it? What’s stopping you?

Even if you start off on a small scale, kind of a part time thing, just pick something you enjoy doing and get started doing it. After hours, evenings, weekends, doesn’t really matter. While we all say that we don’t have any extra time as it is, I think you’ll find that even if you just sacrifice a couple hours of TV here ‘n there, you’ll be surprised at all you can get accomplished.

Just get going on something that you’re passionate about and see where it takes you. I’ll bet the next thing you know, you’ll be making other sacrifices to allow you more time to pursue your dream. I promise it will be so worth it.

Before you know it you’re rollin’ and you’ll find that there just isn’t enough time in a day to do all you want to do towards accomplishing your goal. And let me tell you, that’s a great problem to have. Next thing you know, you’ll actually be enjoying your weekdays! Maybe even more than your weekends. Can you even imagine that? Getting to a point where your weekends are more stressful than your weekdays? Who’d a thunk it!

So if you find that you’re like most everyone else out there, at least those that still have jobs and dread Mondays more than anything, maybe it’s time you started thinking of work as anything but a four letter word.

If you can relate to work being a nightmare, I’d enjoy hearing about it in my comments and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

Do Dreams Have An Expiration Date?

Bryan — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 04:51:43 +0000

Lately I find that I’m having to ask myself this question quite often. I mean, does there come a point when you just need to say forget it and push the delete button? I’m not so much referring to the dreams that you have while you’re asleep, who on earth can make any sense of those?

The dreams I’m referring to are basically daydreams, the ones that inspire you, motivate you, the unexplainable forces that drive you forward without any apparent reason. At least the reasons aren’t apparent to others. Noone else can see what motivates us on the inside.

If they could, it probably wouldn’t be a good thing as people, for the most part, aren’t usually very supportive of someone elses dreams and aspirations. Nope, it’s much better to keep your dreams to yourself or if by chance you’re lucky enough to have a significant other that is totally behind you in everything you do, then perhaps you can spill the beans to them.

But you have to be careful because for the most part, others want you to do well in life, follow your passions, live your dreams but only up to a certain point. Once your life, in their eyes, becomes better than theirs, then it’s time to throw a bunch of negativity your way in an effort to knock you back down to reality. Or at least the reality that they want you to be living.

But if dreams actually do have a deadline of sorts, that would really suck. To know that if your dreams don’t come true in a certain amount of time that you’ll have to chuck ‘em, just throw them away. Erase them from your thoughts. That would be like throwing all of your hope right out the window. And where the hell would you be without hope?

Pretty much nowhere. Hope is more than likely the main ingredient in all of our dreams. Hope is the basis for everything that drives us forward. Striving for better. Better lives. Better relationships. Better everything.

Surely hope can’t have an expiration date for if it did, we’d all be in big trouble. To lose ones hope, even worse, to just give up on hope pretty much spells disaster. If not the end of the road then I’m sure you can see the end of the road from there.

Oh, to lose all hope can be an inner defeat that is very hard to recover from. At least from my experience anyway. It wasn’t but a year or two ago, if even that long that I had pretty much lost all of my hope.

Long story short, I basically lost everything I owned along with quite a few other things that I didn’t actually own, I just had a ton of money invested in them. And if this wasn’t bad enough, along with all my possessions went all of my hopes, my dreams and my motivation.

Yep, right down the drain, never to be seen or heard from again. Whoosh, every reason I ever had for getting out of bed in the morning was gone. My worst fear was coming true.

Losing your stuff is one thing but when you lose your why, it’s a whole different ballgame. As long as you have your motivation, you can always get your stuff back. But without motivation, you’re basically over and done. Destined for a life of zero.

Luckily for me, I didn’t give up and I’ve been able to recover a good amount of my motivation. That’s not to say that I don’t struggle with it daily but I am getting better and staying on a forward path. Most of this has come from remembering that no matter what, I can’t give up.

And as I’ve gained back most of my motivation, slowly but surely my hope is beginning to return as well. Hope for a new beginning, for a better future, for a better life. And I’m super grateful for this because without motivation and hope, it’s pretty much couch time from here on out. That’s if you’re lucky enough to have a couch you can lay on.

But even though things are starting to go in a more positive direction, there are still so many missing pieces to my life puzzle that it’s not always easy to remain focused and keep my chin up as they say. While some days are more difficult than others, it’s still a decision I have to make every day. Keep on pushin’ forward or just pack it in?

If I sit there and just think about all of the things that are missing in my life, all of the things that I had hoped would be a gimme by this time, then there’s no doubt I’m gonna be disappointed. Completely understandable I would think.

So that’s why I can’t allow myself to sit there and think about what I don’t have. Instead, I have to continue to concentrate on what I do have and what, if I continue to work hard, I WILL have in the future.

Speaking of future, this brings me back to my original question regarding dreams having an expiration date. This doesn’t so much apply to any of my previous dreams as I actually only have two that have survived all of the melee of the last couple years.

One that I constantly struggle with, finding myself unable to let go of but I know that at some point in the near future, like it or not I will be forced to come to grips with making a decision. I remain hopeful that before I have to make that decision, the outcome that I desire will manifest itself and I will be able to consider it a dream of mine that actually came true. Fingers and toes crossed, that’s for sure.

The other dream, as it turns out has a much better chance of coming true now than it ever had of materializing in my previous life. It’s kinda strange how that worked out. Kinda like the last domino standing, remaining by default.

Ok then, along with rebuilding my life I’m finding that I need to make a new Dream List. Sounds a bit crazy as all throughout our lives, dreams just seem to come to us from who knows where. It’s not so much that we have to create them, they just seem to be born from our passions, our desires.

But what do you do when almost all of your life long dreams have been wiped out basically overnight and you’re forced to start a new list? You can’t just fill it up with all those old dreams. Most of them no longer apply. Either they bring with them a sour feeling or they are no longer applicable to your new life.

Luckily for me I still have two dreams I can hang onto. Well, one for sure, the other is either going to manifest itself soon or I will unfortunately have to remove it from the List. One way or another, that will only leave me one and luckily, the remaining dream covers alot of territory so it would take quite alot to either have it completely manifest itself or to be removed.

It’s not like there’s a DreamMart or a House of Dreams that you can just bring in a coupon and pick up a few dreams. Nope, not gonna be that easy. I’m gonna have to do some soul searchin’ to come up with some new ones. That, and I hope that my new life will entail some new experiences and along with those experiences will come new dreams.

Dreams that I have yet to even imagine. Knowing that I’m a major Dreamer, I have a pretty good feeling that I should be able to come up with something worthwhile before too long. Something outrageous enough to be considered unobtainable which is basically the description of one of my dreams.

And as far as dreams having an expiration date, it’s possible but I’d like to think that it’s entirely up to you whether they do or not. I think the safest bet is to treat them like a gallon of milk at the Grocery Store, they put the newest containers at the back of the rack. So I guess I have no other option…. but to KEEP DIGGIN’!

If you can relate to creating new dreams, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post I’d appreciate it if you would share it with your friends.

Dang Dude, DON’T Ding Me!

Bryan — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 04:40:53 +0000

WHY? WHY? WHY? Why do people INSIST on trying to park as close to the front entrance of the Store as possible? I just don’t get it. What is the true benefit of this endeavor? In fact, is there really any type of benefit whatsoever?

I’m sure you’ve seen them before, those people that do lap after lap in front of the Store, in search of an opening to squeeze their Prius into. Just one space closer and that could mean 10 less footsteps they’ll have to take to reach the promised land.

It’s the funniest thing because as you watch them continue on their ridiculous Parade around the lot, like clockwork, time and time again a car leaves and a space opens up just behind where they are now.

You can see their eyes hit the rear view mirror as they spot the movement and then it’s instant decision time. If they immediately throw it in reverse, it’s possible that they might be able to grab that spot. Only one problem, the car that just left that spot is right on their ass and so they can’t back up. SHIT!

Option two is to haul ass around the lot and come back in from the same direction they just came from. The wheels begin turning inside their head and as the smoke begins to flow from their ears, you can see it in their face that the decision is excruciatingly brutal for them. Such a dilemma.

Next thing you know, they FLOOR IT in an attempt to get around this section of parked cars, so they can get back to heading in their original direction. SCREEEEECH, the smoke starts billowing from the front tires of their beat up old minivan and they’re off!

If you listen closely, you can hear Mom screamin’ “Hang on kids, Mommas found us a parkin’ space!” So with kids and car seats flyin’ around, they’re off to their new parking place. Woo Hoo, can’t wait to get there.

About three quarters of the way there, she spots somethin’ up ahead. And it doesn’t look good. Sure as shit! Somebody else is just pulling into that coveted spot that she wanted so dearly. HER SPOT!

Are you f’n kidding me?, she yells to her 9, 8, 8, 6, 4, 3, 1 year olds, as well as her 8 month old baby (all from different Daddys of course) as they gradually get up off the floor after slamming into the backs of the seats as a result of her slamming on her brakes so damn hard. Seemingly in unison, all the kids (at least the ones that can speak) ask, Mommy, what’s wrong?

Oh, nothing kids, it’s just that some idiot stole Mommys parking place and now we’re gonna have to find a new one, that’s all. But we’ll find one alot better than that one anyway. It will be a whole lot closer to the Store.

As she slowly drives by her arch enemy, she notices something that seems oddly familiar about the car. Yes, something seems very familiar about it but she just can’t place it. Then it finally dawns on her, it was another one of the Parking Lot Vultures and this is the one that had been following her around in circles for 45 minutes.

She can’t help but be grateful that the spot went to a kindred spirit, someone of the same ilk, another of the relentless CloseParkers. So rather than give the driver the one fingered salute as she had originally intended, she gave a quick Rose Parade wave and a hint of a smile….and she was off again, on her search for another upfronter.

Even as upset as she was, she still had to give props to one of her kind, one that never gave up on their pursuit of the closest space. After all, she had no idea how long they themselves had been searching for their spot but it could have been much longer than she had been conducting her own surveillance so again, she had to be slightly happy for them.

Suddenly, snapping out of her self induced trance, she spotted something very familiar ahead. Something very bright and shiny, sure to attract the attention of any female. But these were the lights she’d spent all morning searching for.

Unable to resist their calling, she had no other option but to drive in that direction, the direction of the lights. She knew she was goin’ the right way as they were getting brighter and brighter by the second, she knew she was almost there!

Suddenly, everything changed to bright red. That was her signal, everything she had been waiting for. She knew that when the lights changed from a bright white to a glowing red, that was her calling. She knew she had to get there….and get there NOW!

Sitting there, she just knew her timing was perfect. Finally all of her effort was gonna pay off. This was her spot and she was gonna grab it, no matter what. After all, she followed all of the FrontParker rules, basically stating that you drive around in circles until either you crash into a parked car from being so dizzy or else a spot finally opens up and you can park. Sounds simple enough, that’s for sure.

Sitting there for quite some time, she began to ask herself what in the hell could be taking this idiot so long to get moving? She waited for the lights, the back~up lights signaling that the car was leaving. Then the brake lights came on, signaling the end of the backing out process and once the red lights go out, that will signal the beginning of forward progress meaning she can FINALLY get in her spot.

Phew, that took forever but it was sooooo worth it. I’m gonna be right up front. Mission accomplished. Hey, wait a minute! As the car that just pulled out began to drive away, the spot that it just vacated was mysteriously missing. How can that be? I KNOW it just pulled out of there somewhere, yet there isn’t an open space anywhere to be found.

Out of the corner of her eye, she notices a sparkle of sorts. Again, women just don’t miss sparkly things. As it turns out, it’s a bit of glare coming off of the window of a car door that’s just beginning to open. Then for some reason it starts a kind of blinking effect, kind of an on and off shimmering.

Turns out the flickering is being caused by the door banging relentlessly off the door of the car parked next to it! If her window wasn’t rolled up, no doubt she would have heard all of this noise earlier but now that she knows it’s another like minded CloseParker that stole her parking place, she is left with no other choice but to drive on, knowing that she was defeated by a worthy foe.

Perhaps it’s time for a new approach. Well, not necessarily new but not often attempted in the world of CloseParkers. Yes, it’s thought of more as a kind of default method rather than the chosen method. It’s known in certain circles as the sit there in one place and friggin’ wait method.

I’m sure you’ve seen this type of Parker before. Yep, they’re the ones that seemingly sit right in the middle of the aisle, no way to get by them on either side, waiting for a parking space that doesn’t yet exist.

And the worst part of these idiots is that they’ll continue to sit there, even though they know damn well you’re stuck behind them, unable to go anywhere, pinned in by some other CloseParker that was following them around in the circle of hell.

I guess they figure that at some point one of these spots just HAS to open up and with any luck, they’ll be close enough to grab it. The riskier of the bunch will sometimes roll down their window, yelling out to random shoppers walking by, “Hey, ya leavin’?” in an attempt to head ‘em off at the pass.

I’m sure you’ve seen this scenario play out before as well. The shopper has just battled the crowds inside, barely surviving the endless line~up at the Checkout counter, just wanting to make it out their car in one piece, unload their packages into their trunk and enjoy a nice, peaceful drive home. Sorry, not gonna happen!

Oh no, now they have some psycho in a minivan right on their heels (as if another car is going to drive in between them and steal their spot), stalking them all the way to their car. Once they arrive, all the sighs start, the revving of the engine, all of the under the breath comments. C’mon already…..Jeez, I haven’t got all day here….Hey, other people need to buy some stuff here too….

You’re just prayin’ it doesn’t turn into a huge episode of Parking Lot Rage because that’s just gonna screw up the parking lot that much more. Then it’s gonna get even uglier than it is already. But you can tell by most of the cars that the CloseParkers drive that they pretty much couldn’t care less if their car sustains any more damage. Who knows, it might actually straighten out a previously dented area.

And so the victim finally finishes filling their trunk, gets in their car and hurriedly gets the hell outta there, allowing the minivan to pry its way in to the spot. Back and forth….back and forth…time and again, it almost happens, she’s almost able to squeeze in and then about the nineteenth try, Voila! Like an old used can opener with cat food still stuck on it, it wasn’t pretty but she got the job done.

Only one problem though. She’s parked so close on one side that she can’t even get her door open! Of course, she tries it anyway, knowing full well that’s it’s NOT gonna happen but after slamming her door into the side of the car she’s squeezed in next to about 10 times, she’s forced to give up. After all, she’s wasting precious shopping time, not to mention the fact that the kids are starting to scream even louder than before.

So she has everybody pile out the passenger side and begins to start her wonderful day of shopping. Sure, it was a struggle getting a parking space this close but it was oh so worth it. Yeah, it took about 45 minutes to find the one but again, she’s so close that it’s almost like she’s a VIP or somethin’. Doesn’t get any better than this.

Finally, after getting the super duper quadruple stroller all set up, they begin their journey to the entrance of the store. Oh, it’s not very far away but when you’re draggin’ eight illegitimate kids with you, it’s a struggle none the less.

Then it happens! About ten spaces closer to the front than she was able to get, a space is opening up. Yep, the white lights are comin’ on….uh oh, they JUST changed to red! We KNOW what that means, OPEN SPOT callin’ her name!

Suddenly her head starts spinnin’, should she run back and get the minivan? Look how much closer she could be. So much less walking than she has to do know. Oh No, what should I do???

Then that last little bit of remaining common sense that she has kicks in and she realizes that that would mean having to reload all the kids in the van, haul ass around to the new space and all in hopes that nobody else has grabbed it by that point. So after some major deliberation, she thinks better of just leaving well enough alone and being happy with the spot she has.

Continuing on towards the entrance, almost inside but yet she just can’t help herself. She can’t resist taking just one more peek at the parking space that almost was. And sure enough, it’s still empty!

Thinking to herself how hard she had worked to get her space, how could that one still be open so long? I’d have to think that this is some kinda payback from above. Thank you Karma.

Payback for all the nightmares her and her kind have caused to all of the NormalParkers all over the world. People who are happy just to find a place that they’re comfortable with, ANYWHERE in the lot.

I myself much prefer to go in the opposite direction of these CloseParkers. I’m more of an OtherEndOfTheLotParker. Yep, I’m one of those guys you see, parked all the way in the far corner, preferably with a curb on one side, in hopes of avoiding all of these CloseParkers and their guaranteed door dings.

I don’t want to be anywhere near these people that feel they need to squeeze in at all costs. No thank you. Now, I’m NOT one of those guys that parks on the line, taking up two spaces. Oh no, that’s just askin’ for some jealous fool to come by and key your car, just because it’s nicer than his Prius.

Nope, not me. I’m just the kinda guy that’s happy to find a drama free parking space with a bit of built in exercise. I don’t mind walkin’ a little extra, not at all. In fact, last I heard, exercise was good for you.

So to all of you CloseParkers out there, go ahead and do all of your stress filled laps, lap after never ending lap. I’ve got some shopping to do and the longer you’re out in the parking lot, strugglin’ for a spot, the less crowded it is for me in the Checkout line.

Have you ever thought about what type of Parking Lot Parker you are? I’d enjoy hearing about where you prefer to park and your reasons for parking there and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate you sharing it with your friends.

Hey, We Really Need To Talk!

Bryan — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 02:36:11 +0000

Wikipedia defines Communication as; a process whereby information is enclosed in a package and is channeled and imparted by a sender to a receiver via some medium. The receiver then decodes the message and gives the sender a feedback. All forms of communication require a sender, a message, and an intended recipient, however the receiver need not be present or aware of the sender’s intent to communicate at the time of communication in order for the act of communication to occur.

Communication requires that all parties have an area of communicative commonality. There are auditory means, such as speech, song, and tone of voice, and there are nonverbal means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage, touch, eye contact, through media, i.e., pictures, graphics and sound, and writing.

I guess what they’re tryin’ to say is that no matter what, it takes a minimum of two people, regardless of whether they are present or not, to make the communication work. That sounds simple enough. But that’s where you’d be wrong.

I think it’s the part where the other person need not be present that messes things up. Back in the ol’ days, the person that you were attempting to communicate with pretty much had to be right there next to you in order to hear and to even hope to understand what it was you were trying to say.

Still no guarantees as languages and speech were not perfect sciences at that point. Back then, hand gestures played a huge part in communicating your message to another person. That and a good swift yank of the hair.

As time went on, things got a bit better as more languages evolved and it was generally frowned upon to pull a females hair. That’s not to say that fights no longer broke out over something that was mistakenly said but for the most part, Tribes pretty much had a basic language they worked with and it was up to you to learn it. If not, it could definitely cost you dearly.

But again, for the most part, you pretty much had to be within hearing distance of whomever you were trying to communicate with. I’d have to think that if yelling hadn’t been invented yet, this just might have been when it first became popular.

Writing has basically been around since the Caveman days, hammering one rock with another rock to create stories of sorts in an effort to communicate but here again, I have to wonder just how much got lost in the translation. Hmmm, is that an elephant or a deer? Perhaps a dog? Maybe a horse?

I think you get my point. Communication still left a lot to be desired. But as alphabets began to flourish, languages became much more polished. That’s not to say they were by any means perfected but more often that not, guidelines were set in place allowing a bit more structure and a little less room for self interpretation.

As people began to migrate all over the world, they tended to take their language with them. Which was fine, as long as you just stayed with your own group but once you tried to communicate with another tribe, you were just plain screwed. Major language barrier. Which also meant quite a few arguments ensued.

Finally, at least in the U.S., one single language began to take hold and it was either you learned how to speak, read and write it or you were quickly left behind. Yes, you could get by with just speaking the language alone but if you couldn’t read and write, your future was extremely limited.

Luckily the telegraph was invented as that would allow you to communicate with others that were a very large distance away. Same with letters being delivered by the Steam Driven Locomotives and the Pony Express, two other great ways to reach out and touch someone.

We as humans have always had an inherent need, a desire to stay connected and being able to sit down by candlelight, dipping your feather in an ink well, chronicalling all of your thoughts and sending them off to the wide open spaces, knowing there was a pretty good chance that they would actually arrive at there intended destination had to be a huge breakthrough.

But none of these can even come close to the invention of the telephone. Oh no, THAT was the breakthrough of that Century. For the first time, you were able to communicate with someone in real time, from thousands of miles away. No more wondering if they could hear you or understand you, instant feedback.

Speaking of feedback, it kinda makes you wonder who the first person was to ever get the phone slammed down on him. I say him because I have a feeling that it was a woman hangin’ up on a guy because of something he said….or didn’t say. I’m just guessin’ here….

Fast forward quite a few years and while the phone has gotten smaller and quite a bit more mobile, you’d still have to think it’s the preferred form of communication. Besides being there in person, of course.

But thanks(?) to all of the new technology available, we now have various other ways to stay in contact. Whether it be through Email, Text Messaging, Instant Messaging, all of those have opened up so many more avenues for communication in todays modern world. Or have they?

It seems as if instead of opening up all of these new avenues of communication, all they’ve done is replace actual communication with cybersmoke blowing. While the phone couldn’t replace actually being there in person, it was the next best thing.

I say was because it seems to have been replaced by these other means of so called communication. A few clicks here, push another button there and whoooosh, off goes your message. Off to who knows where. Will it reach it’s intended target? Well, that’s anybodys guess. And worst of all, nobody seems to care whether it does or not.

Emails, in some instances, can be monitored to allow the sender to know if the recipient has actually opened it, read it and responded to it. Not bad for Cyberspace technology.

Texting on the other hand has that let it fly kinda feelin’, sending your message off to who knows where and hoping it reaches its intended destination. And if you do eventually get a reply (that makes any sense) then consider yourself lucky.

Instant Messaging has both its good and its bad points. It resembles texting on the Big Screen. If both communicators happen to have Web Cams, then at least they can hope to see a bit of a facial expression here and there. However they also better be equally adept at typing as this isn’t a sport for the non nimble fingered or the textually challenged.

Oh no, this can be a super hectic, fast paced nightmare come to life. Similar to a game of tennis between a fresh Rookie and a seasoned Pro, no doubt somebody is gonna get hit in the balls….. ooops, I mean hit WITH a ball.

I don’t agree with those that think these cyber replacements can come anywhere close to the communication that can be had from just a simple phone call. Sure, on the phone it can sometimes be difficult to read emotions but as long as you throw in a bit of laughter here ‘n there, for the most part you should be ok.

But I don’t care what anybody says, there just isn’t any substitute for actually being there with the person you’re communicating with. Having a face to face, one on one conversation with your sweetheart, having her say “I Love You” in real life, just can’t be beat.

So until the day comes that they invent a computer or even a phone for that matter tells me it loves me, all while kissing me on the lips, I’m gonna stick with the ol’ fashioned way.

If you can relate to a need for good communication in a relationship of any kind, I’d like to hear about it and if you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

Is It REALLY OK To Look?

Bryan — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 15:10:47 +0000

We’ve all heard the slogan, “It’s OK To Look” but is it really ok? I mean, once you look, you’re kinda locked in. Not so much by them as by your own undeniable curiousity. Then it’s on! You can’t stop clickin’. Page after page, click after click, maybe the one will be on the next page. Nope. Maybe the next page? And so on and so on.

On and on it goes, searching for your soulmate. Online Dating, blessing or curse? Is it really any easier than the old fashioned way of meeting people? Hmmmm, come to think of it, what exactly is the old fashioned way?

Once you were out of school, it was pretty much a desert out there, hardly an oasis to be found. All of those maybes instantly turned into woulda coulda shouldas. All those missed opportunities, those chances that you should have taken were no longer even an option. Nope, from here on out you were on your own.

Sure, we’ve all heard the stories of people meeting at the Grocery store, the Library, Gas Station, WalMart, all of those flukes that leave us wonderin’ how the hell did that happen and why hasn’t it happened to us?

But come to think of it, for the most part, the people that we see at those places aren’t really people we’d want to meet anyway. Matter of fact, more along the lines of people we’d prefer to avoid. So how is everyone else able to find all of these Golden Nuggets among all of this Fools Gold?

You also hear people say that you should join Groups. Interactive groups of people enjoying like minded activities and when you share a common connection with someone, makes it a whole bunch easier to get a conversation started. Well, you’d like to think so anyway.

But just because somebody likes to play Co~Ed Softball or enjoys Mountain Biking doesn’t necessarily guarantee any kind of a Love Connection. Perhaps a sport like Golf or maybe even Tennis could be a better basis to start off on as they offer a bit more closeness but still no guarantees.

Sure, it could be a good start but beyond a hobby in common, who’s to say there’s gonna be enough to build on. To nurture and grow a relationship that will go on to stand the test of time. But then again, it is a start and for the most part, that could be better than nothin’.

So what do we have left? I guess it’s the good ol’ default of dating, Bars and Night Clubs. Yeah, the basic Meat Markets as they have come to be so affectionately known.

While these can be a gold mine of activity, with lots of dancin’ and liquor flowin’, there still isn’t any guarantee that you’re gonna have any luck there either. No such thing as a sure thing. Talk about a Box of Chocolates, you really never know what you’re gonna catch…..ooops, I mean get.

And if you do happen to win the Lottery and actually meet someone that you make a true connection with and continue to build a relationship with, I would think that you would always have that feeling in the back of your mind that you met each other in a Bar, in essence the home of the One Night Stand, aka The Desperation Station.

I mean, haven’t you noticed how couples that have met in Clubs and Bars and have gone on to get married suddenly start staring at the ground and getting very quiet when asked how they met? Meeting the love of your life at a Bar carries with it a stigma of sorts and not a pretty one at that.

Jeez, we’re really runnin’ out of options here. I mean, we’ve looked into all the old standard choices seemingly built out of desperation, some of the hit ‘n miss, meet by chance options and so pretty much all we’re left with at this point is that other semi frowned upon, stigma filled endeavor known as Online Dating.

Ohhhh, gotta be the scariest of all. Haven’t you heard all of the terrible stories of all the bad people that hang out on the Internet, just waiting to pounce on their latest victims? And this isn’t only reserved for the bad guys out there.

Oh no, there are tons of Black Widows out there, just waiting to grab hold of their toupee wearing victims. Ready to suck everything out of their wallets and leave ‘em by the side of the road, never to fully recover from the incident.

Yet we’ve run out of choices. It’s either we resort to the Internet or we’re destined for a life full of relentless loneliness. Neither really sounds too appealing but at least the Internet offers some form of hope. Being alone forever pretty much has “Your life is totally gonna suck forever” written all over it right from the start.

Now that we’ve resigned ourselves to beginning our Internet search for our soulmate, how do we actually get started? Which Site is best? Which one is more our style? Where exactly is the partner of our dreams hangin’ out? Jeez, I kinda thought all the questions had already been answered but apparently I was wrong.

It seems as if the list of online dating sites is pretty much endless, with new ones added daily. Funny thing is, each of them boast of being the number one dating site online, most members, greatest number of matches, guaranteed connections, etc., etc.

Heck, they even have some that seem more like Porn Sites where you can check out their pics, webcam stuff, all of those things that give you the distinct feeling that your Credit Card is in extreme jeopardy.

Somewhere in the middle is one Site that talks about how short life is (I agree) and you should have an affair (I DISAGREE) before you kick the bucket. How cheesy is that? To promote infidelity as a way of making money just doesn’t sit right with me. I guess I’m strange that way.

It’s gonna be just your luck, you’re married and thinkin’ about cheating on your wife and they’re gonna match you up with a woman that’s married and is thinkin’ about cheating on her husband….and her husband HAPPENS TO BE YOU! That’ll be a reality check that you never expected.

I’d have to think that the two most popular or at least the most well known would be Match.com and eHarmony. Match tells you all the time that it’s ok to look but again, that’s where the trouble starts. On the other hand, eHarmony makes you jump through so many hoops that it makes you really think twice about whether or not you really wanna sign up.

While eHarmony boasts of how they will match your profile on 29 different levels of compatability, from your favorite food to which day of the week would be your favorite for trash day. Only problem is, they forgot to mention the part about how it’s gonna take you about 14 hours straight to complete your profile.

By the time you’re about one quarter of the way through, you’re already questioning yourself as to whether or not this was a good idea. Half way through, you’re REALLY having second thoughts as to whether or not you can continue. Once you reach the three quarter mark, you just want this nightmare over and done so you can start receiving your strategically matched connections.

So at that point you just start clicking buttons at random, just to get it over with. Up to 99 years old? Click! Eight feet tall? Click! Up to 500 pounds? Click! Smokes like a chimney? Click! ANYTHING just to get this over and done!

Finally you get the signal that your eHarmony profile is complete and your first few matches begin to arrive. Hmmm, something seems wrong here. I know I set a 50 mile search radius but for some reason they are sending me profiles of women in Kentucky. Last time I looked, Kentucky was just a bit further than 50 miles away from So. Cal.

Gotta be a fluke. Nope, Missouri, Colorado, North Dakota, Maine, pretty much all over the U.S. Oh no, not American Samoa! Jeez, now they’re really reachin’. Maybe it’s a bit more difficult than I thought to find an 8 ft. tall, 98 year old woman that weighs 500 lbs. and smokes like a chimney. Who’d a thunk it?

Perhaps it’s time to give Match a try. Awwwweee, now THIS is more like it. Sure, if you really wanna get serious about it, you can fill out your profile and luckily, it will take you about one quarter of the time that the eHarm profile did.

If you just want to check out some of the perspective members, you can do that as well. But only to a point. They let you check out a few profiles, just to wet your appetite and then next thing you know, you find your dream connect and you want to contact her. Sorry, no go!

At that point you will have to sign up for a Membership and get serious about your profile. Yep, it’s gonna take some effort from this point, not to mention a Credit Card. Holy commitment! All the questions start flyin’.

Are you really sure you wanna do this? Should you sign up for one, three, maybe even six months? I mean after all, you’ve waited your entire life to find your soulmate, how could you expect to find her in a month. Better do six and hope for the best. Ok, Credit Card accepted and you’re on your way to meeting the woman of your dreams.

Filling in your search parameters is easy, after all you’ve known what you were looking for forever. Ok cool, page one of 5000 matches. Holy smorgasbord, this is gonna be sweet! Hardest part will be deciding who I click with.

As you scroll through page after page, nothing. Nothing seems to resonate with you. So many of the profiles are the same. All of these women have been to every country in the world, six times and yet they’ve also had the same full time job for 20 years. Something just doesn’t add up.

Then it’s picture after picture of either her with another guy, her dog slobbering all over her or worst of all, a friend of hers that’s way hotter than she is. Ladies, if I can make a suggestion here. If you’re promoting pics of you hangin’ all over other guys, you don’t need to be on a dating site. If your dog is your whole world and you can’t go or be anywhere without it, no guy wants to play second fiddle to a dog.

And if all you’re looking for is someone to mow your lawn every Saturday or take your kids to soccer practice so that you don’t miss your nail appointment, perhaps you might want to get your priorities in order. No guy wants to be a last minute add on. Lastly, if you’re gonna show pics of your hot friends, at least put something in your profile about whether or not they’re single and if so, how to contact them. Just sayin’.

As you look closer at some of these pics, you begin to notice that some of them have the dates right on ‘em. Hmmmm, that’s funny. That doesn’t look like a ’10. Looks more like an ’01. As soon as you see that a photo is almost 10 years old, that’s an instant Red Flag! It immediately brings into play all kinds of doubt as to how much of her profile is actually legit. People, current pics are a must.

It’s just like the age thing. You’ll see an age posted at the top but then as you read their profile, they admit to being five years older than their posted age. As if their posted age is the age they wanna be, the age they act or the age, in their mind, they look but to come right out from the start, before you even begin your profile, you’re already fibbin’, that’s not a good sign either.

If you’re gonna be serious about this whole thing and truly want to build a relationship with someone, eventually you’re going to have to meet in real life. So why bother starting out with a lie? You’ll get found out sooner or later and the heartache will be much worse once you have a bit of your heart invested. Why not avoid that nightmare altogether?

Which basically brings us back to square one. How do you actually meet your life partner in todays world. Seems like all avenues have both their good and bad points. None of them are problem free, that’s for sure.

So do we just give up, throw in the towel, just too much friggin’ effort to take a chance on having our hearts broken one more time? Gosh, I hope not. I for one don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. That’s not to say that I want to be locked into a relationship that isn’t beneficial to me, just to avoid being alone. Such a cunundrum.

Well, if you need to get ahold of me, you know where to find me. Yep, I’ll be hangin’ out at the Shoe Store, waitin’ for my Solemate.

If you’re single and can relate to the Dating World, I’d like to hear your thoughts and if you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

Steppin’ WAY Outside The Zone!

Bryan — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 09:15:33 +0000

Wikipedia defines “Comfort Zone” as: The comfort zone is a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.

The comfort zone refers to the set of environments and behaviours with which somebody is comfortable, without creating a sense of risk. A person’s personality can be described by his or her comfort zones.

Highly successful persons may routinely step outside their comfort zones, to accomplish what they wish. A comfort zone is a type of mental conditioning that causes a person to create and operate mental boundaries. Such boundaries create an unfounded sense of security. Like inertia, a person who has established a comfort zone in a particular axis of his or her life, will tend to stay within that zone without stepping outside of it. To step outside a person’s comfort zone, they must experiment with new and different behaviours, and then experience the new and different responses that then occur within their environment.

Phew, that’s a mouthful! I think that basically what they’re saying is that it’s a self imposed safety zone of sorts, a place where nothing can go wrong in your life. A place where you can just kick back, let the world go by and nothing can hurt you.

A place where nothing ever goes wrong, every day is full of blue skies and sunshine. Well, I’ve got some news for you, it’s full of lots of other stuff as well. And some of it not so good.

Like boredom, depression, mediocrity, laziness, basically business as usual. Nothin out of the ordinary, ever! In essence, the home of status quo. Basically BO~RING but safe. Safe from harm. Safe from risk. Safe….from…well, from experiencing life. Sounds like tons o’ fun, huh? NOT!

I’m sure most of you know your own Comfort Zones very well, you’ve lived there your entire lives. You know exactly what to expect, no surprises there, that’s for sure. No surprises, for better….or for worse.

I say for worse because last I heard, life was meant to be experienced. In all ways. Be it people, places or things, each and every new adventure entails some amount of risk. After all, it wouldn’t be an adventure if you knew what was going to happen beforehand. But if not for that risk, I don’t think it would be considered an adventure.

“Adventure” is defined as: An activity that is perceived to involve risks, danger or exciting experiences.

In essence, life is an adventure. No matter how much we plan out our day, very rarely, if ever does it go according to plan. In fact, it usually doesn’t take very long before something happens to send your entire day off on a completely different path. One in which you had never even bothered to consider.

This is where your Comfort Zone comes into play because it’s decision time. You’re going to have to make a decision about something and chances are, it’s gonna mean the difference between layin’ low in your Comfort Zone or risking it all and venturing out to a brave new world, a new civilization, a place where more than likely you’ve never gone before.

We’ve all heard that saying, No Risk, No Reward or the similar version, Big Risk, Big Reward. Either way, along with the possible reward comes the inherent danger of making a mistake. Making a fool of yourself. Basically looking like an idiot and nobody likes that.

No one wants to come across as an idiot. Therefore, if you stay in your Zone, you’re for the most part idiot proof. But your life isn’t gonna be a whole lotta fun, that’s for sure. You’re definitely not gonna get the most out of each and every day, which kinda makes you look like an idiot anyway, for wasting your life. Sort of a Catch 22.

Keep in mind that this last statement is more or less directed at me. Yep, I find myself hidin’ in my own Zone far too often for my own good but hell, it’s so comfy and cozy, so downright safe in there, can you blame me? It gives me the warm ‘n fuzzies just thinkin’ about how nice it is in there.

Even though I know damn well I’ll never get anywhere in life without taking risks, by just stayin’ comfy, for some reason it seems to be my default place to hang out. If I don’t wanna take a chance on makin’ a fool of myself, I just duck down and let the world (life) fly by. No harm, no foul. Just keep everything status quo and you’re good to go.

Then all of a sudden, it dawns on you. Your life totally sucks! Same ol’, same ol’, day in and day out. Can you imagine if every freeway, every street, every road you ever traveled was straight and flat?

No uphills, no downhills, no left or right turns, nothing but straight and flat for as far as the eye could see. Doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? And so it is with life in your Zone.

Even though I’ve done my best to be more conscious of hiding in my own Zone as of late, I still find myself getting caught in my own trap. My fluffy, danger free trap. I know it’s not a good place to hang out and I’ve been doin’my best to break free of my old habits and venture out to the land of the unknown. The world outside my Comfort Zone.

Now, there are only so many opportunities that present themselves, affording you the possibility of steppin’ out of your Zone. Besides those that you create yourself.

And you surely can’t map out your plan of attack ahead of time because you have absolutely no idea what it is you’re going to be reacting to. Let alone what your reaction would be even if you did know ahead of time.

This scenario played out in living color for me on Friday night. My buddy showed up just before dark and so we hauled butt down to the Dock to enjoy the end of a beautiful lakeside day. Once darkness set in, it was time to think about dinner.

Neither of us wanted the hassle, let alone the time required to cook anything and while there aren’t many choices up here, there is a cool Mexican Restaurant that serves great food and since I just happen to love good food, we locked up the Dockhouse and we were on our way.

Things can get kinda crowded there on the weekends but it was after the dinner hour and so lucky us, no wait. The Hostess grabbed a couple menus and began escorting us to our table. She approached a small table in an open area, which I didn’t much care for but we were both hungry and so it was fine.

As we got closer to the table, she hesitated, spotted another table and we continued on to our new destination. This was a booth, much easier to spread your food around so I was stoked. But I had no idea just how stoked I was gonna be.

Directly in my line of sight, about three tables away, sat the woman of my dreams. My first thought was how lucky I was (and to top it off, on a non fave day, Friday 13th) that we didn’t get stuck at that first table. I never would have seen her, unless I caught a glimpse as she walked out.

Immediately things turned into one of those out of body experiences, like when you’re dreaming and you’re floating above your body, watching yourself from outside yourself. I can faintly remember my buddy talkin’ but again, I really couldn’t hear him.

It’s no wonder I’m single, I have a certain type that I’m really attracted to and as much as I try and tell myself I’m not, there are certain physical characteristics that just spark for me. And this woman had ‘em, that’s for sure. I think that everyone has a different vision of beauty and thankfully, everyone is built differently.

I don’t think that my idea of beauty is the universally accepted vision in everyones mind. Definitely not the type that the Media says is Americas Most Beautiful. The natural, girl next door does it for me. My dream woman might go completely unnoticed to someone else and vice versa but all I can say is if I could have ordered a woman out of a catalog, she is pretty much who I would have ordered.

And that’s the only reason I even contemplated leaving my Comfort Zone for a split second. I’m not a Serial Dater, I’ve had my heart broken so many times that I don’t even bother anymore unless I feel very strongly about a woman, unless I think there’s a possibility of a long term relationship. Why go through all that heartache for no reason.

But this woman triggered something in me that had me mesmerized. My mind was racing, should I, shouldn’t I? Should I walk over to her table and say Hi? Should I just sit here and stare at her (not good), not saying a word? With so many thoughts spinning through my head, I still couldn’t hear anything my buddy was saying.

Since we had left the Cabin so quickly, I just threw on some basic clothes, never grabbed my wallet or anything else. It never dawned on me we’d be havin’ dinner out. So this left me without any way of leaving her my contact info.

So, I had to ask myself, is that a hint of reality bringing me to my senses or is that just an excuse to give up and sit here, in my Zone?

Back and forth, back and forth, ’round ‘n around in my head, all these should I’s or shouldn’t I’s flew around like a Kansas tornado for what seemed like 10 hours but since the waitress just returned to take our order, it was probably more like 10 minutes. It’s funny how time flys when you’re havin’ an out of body experience.

Glancing at the waitress’ apron full of pens, that did it. I asked if I could borrow a pen and she also offered a piece of paper from her tablet. I’m not so sure that if she knew I was stalkin’ one of her customers, she would have been so accomodating with the writing equipment but that’s neither here nor there.

What was important is that I finally had a way to leave her my info. I could still hear my buddy talkin’ (no idea what he was sayin’) as I wrote down my info. and as I recall, it was mid sentence when I got up from the table and walked over to introduce myself.

I finally decided that there was absolutely ZERO chance that she would ever contact me if I didn’t approach her but my odds went way up to about One in a Million (ok, One in a Trillion) chance that she would contact me if I left my digits.

So I literally jumped up, leavin my Comfort Zone so far behind me, I couldn’t even see it anymore and I trembled my way over to her table. I had no game plan, no idea what I was gonna say, no pick up line to lay on her, no preparation whatsoever. All I knew was that I HAD to do this or I would regret it forever.

Her and her friend were both surprised that some goofball would walk all the way across a restaurant (this wasn’t some Meat Market pickup place or a Bar) in the middle of their meal to introduce himself. I really have no idea what I even said, besides Hello and shaking her hand which was pretty easy since my entire body was shaking so much.

Surprisingly, it went pretty well (I think) for such a completely awkward experience. I mean, at least they didn’t break out in sheer hysterics until they finished their meal and were completely out of sight. I wobbled my way back to the table and tried to catch my breath. Talk about a harrowing experience, this was so far out of my Zone that I completely forgot I even had a Zone.

Of course, all through the meal, I kept thinkin’ of things I should have said, should have done to make the whole thing go better and to make the possibility of her contacting me drop from a Trillion to One way down to a Billion to One. But at that point, it was too late. There was no going back over there, she was gone.

All the woulda coulda shouldas in the world didn’t matter at that point. All I had was her first name and a basic idea what part of So. Cal. she lived in. That was it. Just as fast as she entered my life (or I invaded hers, whichever way you wanna look at it), she was gone. Like two ships passing in the night, she sailed off to waters unknown and I pretty much ran into an iceberg and friggin’ sank!

One other strange thing that happened, as I sat back down at the booth, I noticed something shiny under the table. Thinking it might be a spoon or something, I reached down to pick it up and it turned out to be a coin. I couldn’t see it at first (kinda dark under there) but it was semi heavy and about the size of a silver dollar. So I thought to myself, cool, I found a silver dollar to remember this occasion by.

I like old coins so I was anxious to see the date on it. Turns out it’s some kinda coin from Panama, unknown denomination, with a picture of Balboa the Explorer on it. Needless to say, monetarily it’s worth about zero but as a reminder of a very special occasion, an important life lesson, it’s priceless.

So as we finished our meal, my buddy kept talkin’ (I think) and I kept wishin’ I would have done a few things differently. It’s always easier the second time, which got me to thinkin’ that even though there was maybe a One in a Million (okayyyyy, One in a Trillion. Jeez, I’m not THAT bad of a guy.) chance of her ever making contact, I know if and when something like this happens again, I’ll be much more prepared and have a better idea of what I’ll do.

I’m also happy to know that I was intrigued enough by a woman to forget about my heart (and my ego), even for a split second and just risk it all by making a complete fool of myself.

I only know of one other woman that has ever enthused me this much (in fact, with her it’s even more than this), enough in fact to totally go against my better judgement and lay it ALL on the line (TWICE!), my heart on the chopping block, vulnerable as hell so it was good to know that I could be excited enough by a woman to take a chance like this again.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve had enough heartache to last me two lifetimes and so I’m in no hurry to have it happen again. But I’m super stoked, very proud of myself that I didn’t let that stop me, I stepped out of my Zone, took a huge chance on pursuing my dreams, regardless of whatever it is I stood to lose.

Will I ever get to see her again? I hate to sound negative but being realistic, I’d have to say no. Did I take away a huge lesson from all this? You better believe I did. I learned that one can leave their Comfort Zone, step insanely far outside it and still survive. I may not have won the prize….but I didn’t die from it either. In fact, I learned a few things, so overall I’d have to say it was a good experience.

So if I can pass anything along to someone else that might feel trapped, stuck in their own Zone, it’s that any time you take a chance, on anything, there is gonna be a certain amount of risk but I’m still here, alive and kickin’, to tell you that you’re not gonna die from it and if you’re lucky like me, you just might learn a thing or two. Who knows, you could end up with your own reward.

If you can relate to hidin’ in your own Comfort Zone, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

Exactly Where DOES Motivation Come From?

Bryan — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 17:27:07 +0000

Motivate: To provide with a motive. Motive: A conscious or unconscious need, drive, etc., that incites a person to some action or behavior; incentive; goal. Ok, that’s all fine and dandy. Basically, if you break it down, Motivation is the required ingredient needed to get ones butt in gear! At least that’s my take on it anyway.

Without motivation, nothing is gonna happen. Nothing is gonna change. No moving forward….with ANYTHING. Without it, you’re pretty much screwed! Looks like lots of couch time is in your future, that’s for sure. So where can you go to get some of this motivation stuff?

It’s not like they have a huge chain of stores, like a Motivation Depot, MotivationMart or perhaps a MotivationRus kinda thing. Nope, it ain’t gonna be that easy. Hell, if motivation was that easy to find, everybody would have it. Jeez, how cool would that be, to see everybody flyin’ around, bein’ productive, gettin’ stuff accomplished, livin’ their dreams? Pretty cool, I’d say.

Nope, this is even harder to find than a Crack Dealer on a Detroit street corner. Oh, come to think of it, just about anything is harder to find than Crack in Detroit. Bad analogy. How about harder to find than a $2 Hooker in Detroit? Jeez, that might not be so hard to find either. Anyway, forget the analogies. let’s just leave it at motivation can be friggin’ hard to find. How’s that?

So what do you do if your Tank~O~Moto is empty? Are you just plain outta luck? Do you just give up, pack it in and call it over and done? No doubt that’s not the way to go. If we all did that, they’d have to start making tons of new couches for everybody to lay around on.

Hey, wait a minute. All those couches would require businesses to manufacture them, which would require employees to run the machines that build the couches, which would require more employees to run the Stores that sell the couches, next thing you know, the Economy is jammin’! Holy crap, I just invented a new Stimulus Package!

Only one problem. This is only stimulating the population to lay around and not do anything. And lazy people hate to be stimulated into doing anything. That would basically cancel all the plans for those people on Welfair. So I guess that’s not such a good thing after all. Bummer, thought I was really on to something for a minute there.

Ok then, so exactly how & where are we gonna find us some of that good stuff? That oh so elusive elixur, that missing ingredient from lifes recipe, some motivation because without it, we can’t even begin to cook.

When it comes right down to it, looks like we’re gonna have to make our own. Yep, we’re gonna have to find it….somewhere….somehow…..no matter the cost. Without it, we’re surely doomed to a life of misery and so it’s imperative that we do whatever it takes, WHATEVER IT TAKES to find some motivation!

Why not try goal setting? Yeah, that’s it. If we set goals, in order to achieve them we are gonna need some motivation. So is this to say that goals create motivation? Not in a direct way but they are intertwined. Without motivation of some sort it would be very difficult to reach any goal that you have set for yourself.

But what is it that creates our goals? Is it our dreams? Possibly. Our dreams help to propel us forward towards the things that we want out of life. Whether it be material, spiritual or otherwise, I think most would agree that just about everything in life begins with a dream.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Yes, I truly believe that so much in life is created by our dreams. Our dreams create hope, giving us the passion necessary to move forward towards achieving our goals, in essence giving us our motivation. Our motivation to strive for more. More out of life. More out of ourselves.

Don’t be afraid to dream….because without your dreams….you have nothing.

If you have any thoughts regarding dreams, goals, motivation, anything of the sort, I’d enjoy hearing about them and if you liked this Post, please share it with your friends.

Who’s This PRINCE CHARMING Dude Anyway?

Bryan — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 04:12:17 +0000

How on earth am I supposed to compete? Compete against some kinda Fantasy Frog. I mean, to be honest, it’s just not fair. C’mon, this dude has set the bar so high, I’m not sure anybody can even come close to jumping it, let alone even touching it with their fingertips.

Oh yeah, we’ve all heard of him. Good ol’ P.C., Prince Daddy, the Fantasy Dude formerly known as Prince, The Princemeister, all meant to signify that most mysterious of guys, Prince Charming.

None of us have actually seen this guy in real life but yet he strikes fear in the hearts and minds of men all over the world. Well, at least in America. I’m not 100% sure they’ve heard of him in other Countries but I guess it’s possible. I mean, they could have a Le Prince Charming, an El Prince de Charming, The Prince of Charmingtown, Herr Prinze Charmengg, you get my drift.

From Bouncers to Bounty Hunters, Machinists to Mailmen, Roofers to Restauranteurs, all of them begin to shake inside at the mere mention of his name. Heck, I’ll bet that even Chuck Liddell, if you could get him to admit it, would say that the Prince of Charmingville is competition for him as well.

I mean c’mon, how can this be? How can we as a species be so intimidated by some dude that rides around town on a white horse, wearing tights and a cape?

Batman can get away with a cape. Superman can get away with a cape. These guys are bad asses that make mince meat outta bad guys. But I’m sure you’ll agree that the only guy good ol’ P.C. could actually take down might be Elton John. And that’s still a maybe, no guarantees.

Now he might be able to stomp you with his horse but he better stay on that horse, if he knows what’s good for him because I’d have to think that at this point, there are plenty of guys that would love to take him down.

Tons of guys that were never able to live up to the standards that he set oh so long ago. He didn’t just raise the bar, he set it so high that no mere human can even get near it. At least no human that I’ve ever heard of.

Which, when you think about it, is kinda crazy. Nobody really knows much about him, other than the fact that upon being kissed, he turns from some funky frog into a guy that all women fantasize about. Now THAT my friends….is magic.

Better than any magic that either David Copperfield OR David Blaine could ever dream up. No smoke ‘n mirrors here, no way. This Prince is fully legit. Well, at least as legit as a fantasy can be anyway.

I hadn’t even thought about this guy in forever, completely off my radar. That is until I received an email from a friend of mine a short while ago. I hadn’t heard from her in quite some time and I’m not afraid to admit that I almost hit my head on the ceiling, jumping for joy at the sight of her message. To say that I was happy to hear from her is an understatement, I was ecstatic.

As I perused her message (for the 1000th time), two words began to stand out, as if they were highlighted in yellow and I could feel my heartbeat begin to pick up the pace. I thought it was merely the excitement I was feeling, hearing from her after all that time.

But no, I began to realize it was more than that. It was the friggin’ Prince that was makin’ me all nervous. How do I live up to the standards he’s set? I don’t actually have any idea what those standards are but I have a pretty good feeling they’re not easily attainable. At least not in this world anyway.

Kinda makes you wonder if each woman sets her own bar for her Prince? After all, it’s her fantasy, she should be able to create a dream dude of her own making. And if so, how in the hell are you ever gonna figure out who or what she really wants in a guy? Jeez, talk about the Rubics Cube from Unattainableville, no way you’re even gonna come close to solving that riddle. Don’t even bother to try. It ain’t gonna happen.

So I guess when it comes right down to it, even though us guys would love to be able to fulfill all of those fantasies, there’s just no way that’s gonna happen and so all we can really do…. is be ourselves.

I know, boring huh? That’s not to say that we can’t entertain her with fantasies of our own making. Hopefully some of them will resonate with her. Who knows, perhaps we might even share some of the same fantasies? How cool would THAT be?

But we really have no other option. We’d have to be mind readers to even attempt to come close to figuring out what women want and the split second we look away from our Crystal Ball, you guessed it, they will have changed their minds and it’s time to start guessing all over again. Talk about a no win situation.

All we can do is give kudos to the Prince, the magnificent Prince Charming as he truly is the guy that all of us men wish we were. The guy that every woman wants and waits her entire life to find.

If you can relate to battling against the Prince, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, please share it with your friends.