This is a question that I’ve been asking myself from about as far back as I can remember. Well, at least somewhere back around the time I became interested in girls. Come to think of it, I’ve been interested in girls from as far back as I can remember. Sheesh, that IS a long time.

Hard to believe I’ve been struggling with this question for that long. How will I know when it’s right? How will I ever be able to tell when I’ve met THE ONE? This just has to be one of the most often asked questions, regardless of gender.

I’ll bet even the Cavemen were asking this very question as well. I kinda wonder if they just knew it by the feeling of their hair as they drug them into their caves. I’m not thinkin’ communication was a huge part of a relationship back then.

I can remember my Dad telling me, “Oh, you’ll know when it’s right.” What kind of a lame answer is that? That seems to be the default answer that every parent read in “Raising Your Children for DUMMIES”. Haven’t we all heard that standard answer about a million times?

Sure, as kids we fall for it about the first three or four hundred times but after that, we begin to question the logic behind such a theory. At that point, we don’t even know how to drive a car, how in the hell are we supposed to know if she’s THE ONE? Our one and only, our destiny, our soulmate?

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s a feeling you’ll get inside. You’ll know when it’s right”. Huh? Inside where? Based on that theory, I’ve met the one on more than one occasion. And let me tell you, it’s pretty damn obvious at this point that they weren’t the one. At least not the one I dream about anyway.

And besides, what exactly is this feeling that I’m supposed to be getting? Is it a peaceful, serene, quiet inside type of thing or is it a full on frustrating, raging sexual tension kinda thing? It’s comical how those that say that I’ll know it when I feel it sure as hell are lousy at describing the feeling themselves.

If they found it so easily, and knew they had found it then it seems to me that they should sure be able to describe it just as easily. But all to often that doesn’t seem to be the case. Nope, not at all. In fact, completely the opposite.

Most of those that you ask just seem to begin staring at the floor, shuffling their feet in hopes that it’s all a bad dream and the question will somehow just disappear, back to whence it came. But no such luck. This is a question that demands an answer. An answer to an as yet unsolved mystery.

So as the questionee begins to ponder all of the possible answers they could give in an effort to just get it over with and answer the question at hand, their mind goes into hyper~drive and the smoke starts pouring out of their ears.

Not only do they not have a legitimate answer, now they find themselves swimming in a sea of self doubt, wondering as to whether or not they themselves ended up with their one and only. After all the questions they asked themselves before they ever made their connection, did they make the right choice?

No doubt they were so sure at the time, not a question in their mind but for some strange reason things aren’t so cut ‘n dry for them any more. So they start mumbling some kinda mumbo jumbo, praying that their phone will magically ring, allowing them to get out of answering the original question.

Noticing the extreme anguish on their face, it’s probably best to just withdraw the question at this point. No need to cause a divorce over a stupid question, right? Well, it’s not that it’s a totally stupid question, just one that isn’t all that easily answered. No matter how easy you think it is.

Perhaps that’s because it’s more of a feeling rather than a thought, a process of elimination. Assessing all of your feelings, both positive and negative as they pertain to the person you desire to be with and then coming to a conclusion of sorts, which would make complete sense as I truly believe that the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is a decision that will have to be made by you, not an outsider so to speak. But for some reason that sounds entirely too logical.

While their input and advice can be a welcome thing in this situation, ultimately it’s you that is going to have to decide what’s right for you. Oh, and I guess the person that you’re planning on spending the rest of eternity with should have a bit of a say in this decision as well. I mean, it’s only fair.

After all, this is a huge decision. For both of you. This pretty much spells the end of the road as it were, the end of the dating road. Which as we all know can be a huge blessing. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, DATING SUCKS!

At least for most people it does. Yes, there are some serial daters out there that have made dating their lifes mission, seemingly never wanting it to end. Kinda like those kids that stay in college for 14 years and never graduate. The real world can be a scary thing, same as a real relationship. So much better to hide in the Land Of No Commitment, the home of zero expectations.

I would have to believe that almost everyone would rather be in a monogamous, committed relationship but find it so much easier to just skate through life, single and scammin’.

Like a rock skipping across a pond. Never really landing anywhere stable, just droppin’ by only long enough to get some traction for another leap towards who knows where, movin’ on to something seemingly bigger and better.

But as we all know, eventually that rock sinks into the muddy, murky depths below, never to be heard from again. And so it is with the dating world. All those years of going from pit stop to pit stop will surely leave you stuck in the pits. Doesn’t sound very appealing to me, that’s for sure.


But the other side to that dreadful race to nowhereville is the other form of hell, known as settling. Yep, in essence giving up and doing whatever it takes, basically sacrificing your soul to avoid being alone. Surely that’s not the answer. Is it?

Damn I hope not because to me, that’s just as miserable, if not more so than being alone. I’m sure we’ve all known plenty of people that although they aren’t physically alone, they are some of the loneliest people on earth. Married, kids, the whole nine yards, yet they are so unhappy and only wish they were single again.

How terrible would that be to know that you’re in a relationship with someone that you aren’t attracted to, have nothing in common with and have zero connection to. Besides a Marriage License of course. Yet, in essence you’re stuck with that person forever. I’ll take being single and alone over that prison any day of the week.

I truly don’t believe that life was meant to be spent alone. Sure, it might appear to be an easier way to live. In theory you can avoid all of the heartache, heart break and disappointment that some relationships tend to entail. But you’ll also miss out on all of the joy, happiness and bliss that comes from finding the one. From spending your life with your true love.

Although I have yet to meet my one and only, I know it’s only a matter of time before I do. And I also know that it will be worth all of the heartache I’ve had to endure along the way. It’s like they say, without the bad, how would we know when things are good? And I have no doubt that’s true.


Of course it totally sucks (ok, MAJORLY totally sucks!) when you’re going through all of those bad times and it’s even worse when some well meaning individual tells you that it just wasn’t meant to be, which at that point is pretty much the last thing you want to hear.

Eventually though, once you scrape up what’s left of your heart off the hot asphalt with a worn out spatula (how’s that for a visual?) and begin to trudge the long and lonely road ahead once again, you come to realize that it never would have worked for the long haul and to continue on would have just been futile.

And for me, it has to be able to stand the test of time. I want a long term, monogamous, commited relationship and I refuse to bring my heart out of hiding for anything less than that. Why risk all that heartbreak on a connection that doesn’t show all the signs of having that possibility? No thank you, not interested.

Problem is, in your mind you were thinking that maybe she could be the one but once you begin to be honest, with yourself and who you truly are on the inside, you have to admit that although you knew it wasn’t totally there for you, perhaps the compromises that you were willing to make just wouldn’t have been worth it in the long run.

I have no doubt that true love does exist and it will require some sacrifices and to some extent you also have to make compromises. But that isn’t to say that you must compromise who you are, on the inside, for another person.

Once you begin to change who you are as a person and what you truly want in a relationship for the sake of not being alone, that is a sure guarantee that you will never be happy in the end.

With over six billion people on the planet, you’d have to think that there’s someone, a soulmate, a one and only, out there for everyone. The problem is, how on earth do you find your soulmate? And when and if you are lucky enough to find your one and only, how will you know for sure that this person is THE ONE? Oh, you’ll just know…..

Have you found yourself wondering when and IF you’ll ever find THE ONE and how you’ll know when you do? I’d appreciate hearing your feelings about your quest for your soulmate and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

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We’ve all heard the slogan, “It’s OK To Look” but is it really ok? I mean, once you look, you’re kinda locked in. Not so much by them as by your own undeniable curiousity. Then it’s on! You can’t stop clickin’. Page after page, click after click, maybe the one will be on the next page. Nope. Maybe the next page? And so on and so on.

On and on it goes, searching for your soulmate. Online Dating, blessing or curse? Is it really any easier than the old fashioned way of meeting people? Hmmmm, come to think of it, what exactly is the old fashioned way?

Once you were out of school, it was pretty much a desert out there, hardly an oasis to be found. All of those maybes instantly turned into woulda coulda shouldas. All those missed opportunities, those chances that you should have taken were no longer even an option. Nope, from here on out you were on your own.

Sure, we’ve all heard the stories of people meeting at the Grocery store, the Library, Gas Station, WalMart, all of those flukes that leave us wonderin’ how the hell did that happen and why hasn’t it happened to us?

But come to think of it, for the most part, the people that we see at those places aren’t really people we’d want to meet anyway. Matter of fact, more along the lines of people we’d prefer to avoid. So how is everyone else able to find all of these Golden Nuggets among all of this Fools Gold?

You also hear people say that you should join Groups. Interactive groups of people enjoying like minded activities and when you share a common connection with someone, makes it a whole bunch easier to get a conversation started. Well, you’d like to think so anyway.

But just because somebody likes to play Co~Ed Softball or enjoys Mountain Biking doesn’t necessarily guarantee any kind of a Love Connection. Perhaps a sport like Golf or maybe even Tennis could be a better basis to start off on as they offer a bit more closeness but still no guarantees.

Sure, it could be a good start but beyond a hobby in common, who’s to say there’s gonna be enough to build on. To nurture and grow a relationship that will go on to stand the test of time. But then again, it is a start and for the most part, that could be better than nothin’.

So what do we have left? I guess it’s the good ol’ default of dating, Bars and Night Clubs. Yeah, the basic Meat Markets as they have come to be so affectionately known.

While these can be a gold mine of activity, with lots of dancin’ and liquor flowin’, there still isn’t any guarantee that you’re gonna have any luck there either. No such thing as a sure thing. Talk about a Box of Chocolates, you really never know what you’re gonna catch…..ooops, I mean get.

And if you do happen to win the Lottery and actually meet someone that you make a true connection with and continue to build a relationship with, I would think that you would always have that feeling in the back of your mind that you met each other in a Bar, in essence the home of the One Night Stand, aka The Desperation Station.

I mean, haven’t you noticed how couples that have met in Clubs and Bars and have gone on to get married suddenly start staring at the ground and getting very quiet when asked how they met? Meeting the love of your life at a Bar carries with it a stigma of sorts and not a pretty one at that.

Jeez, we’re really runnin’ out of options here. I mean, we’ve looked into all the old standard choices seemingly built out of desperation, some of the hit ‘n miss, meet by chance options and so pretty much all we’re left with at this point is that other semi frowned upon, stigma filled endeavor known as Online Dating.

Ohhhh, gotta be the scariest of all. Haven’t you heard all of the terrible stories of all the bad people that hang out on the Internet, just waiting to pounce on their latest victims? And this isn’t only reserved for the bad guys out there.

Oh no, there are tons of Black Widows out there, just waiting to grab hold of their toupee wearing victims. Ready to suck everything out of their wallets and leave ‘em by the side of the road, never to fully recover from the incident.

Yet we’ve run out of choices. It’s either we resort to the Internet or we’re destined for a life full of relentless loneliness. Neither really sounds too appealing but at least the Internet offers some form of hope. Being alone forever pretty much has “Your life is totally gonna suck forever” written all over it right from the start.

Now that we’ve resigned ourselves to beginning our Internet search for our soulmate, how do we actually get started? Which Site is best? Which one is more our style? Where exactly is the partner of our dreams hangin’ out? Jeez, I kinda thought all the questions had already been answered but apparently I was wrong.

It seems as if the list of online dating sites is pretty much endless, with new ones added daily. Funny thing is, each of them boast of being the number one dating site online, most members, greatest number of matches, guaranteed connections, etc., etc.

Heck, they even have some that seem more like Porn Sites where you can check out their pics, webcam stuff, all of those things that give you the distinct feeling that your Credit Card is in extreme jeopardy.

Somewhere in the middle is one Site that talks about how short life is (I agree) and you should have an affair (I DISAGREE) before you kick the bucket. How cheesy is that? To promote infidelity as a way of making money just doesn’t sit right with me. I guess I’m strange that way.

It’s gonna be just your luck, you’re married and thinkin’ about cheating on your wife and they’re gonna match you up with a woman that’s married and is thinkin’ about cheating on her husband….and her husband HAPPENS TO BE YOU! That’ll be a reality check that you never expected.

I’d have to think that the two most popular or at least the most well known would be Match.com and eHarmony. Match tells you all the time that it’s ok to look but again, that’s where the trouble starts. On the other hand, eHarmony makes you jump through so many hoops that it makes you really think twice about whether or not you really wanna sign up.

While eHarmony boasts of how they will match your profile on 29 different levels of compatability, from your favorite food to which day of the week would be your favorite for trash day. Only problem is, they forgot to mention the part about how it’s gonna take you about 14 hours straight to complete your profile.

By the time you’re about one quarter of the way through, you’re already questioning yourself as to whether or not this was a good idea. Half way through, you’re REALLY having second thoughts as to whether or not you can continue. Once you reach the three quarter mark, you just want this nightmare over and done so you can start receiving your strategically matched connections.

So at that point you just start clicking buttons at random, just to get it over with. Up to 99 years old? Click! Eight feet tall? Click! Up to 500 pounds? Click! Smokes like a chimney? Click! ANYTHING just to get this over and done!

Finally you get the signal that your eHarmony profile is complete and your first few matches begin to arrive. Hmmm, something seems wrong here. I know I set a 50 mile search radius but for some reason they are sending me profiles of women in Kentucky. Last time I looked, Kentucky was just a bit further than 50 miles away from So. Cal.

Gotta be a fluke. Nope, Missouri, Colorado, North Dakota, Maine, pretty much all over the U.S. Oh no, not American Samoa! Jeez, now they’re really reachin’. Maybe it’s a bit more difficult than I thought to find an 8 ft. tall, 98 year old woman that weighs 500 lbs. and smokes like a chimney. Who’d a thunk it?

Perhaps it’s time to give Match a try. Awwwweee, now THIS is more like it. Sure, if you really wanna get serious about it, you can fill out your profile and luckily, it will take you about one quarter of the time that the eHarm profile did.

If you just want to check out some of the perspective members, you can do that as well. But only to a point. They let you check out a few profiles, just to wet your appetite and then next thing you know, you find your dream connect and you want to contact her. Sorry, no go!

At that point you will have to sign up for a Membership and get serious about your profile. Yep, it’s gonna take some effort from this point, not to mention a Credit Card. Holy commitment! All the questions start flyin’.

Are you really sure you wanna do this? Should you sign up for one, three, maybe even six months? I mean after all, you’ve waited your entire life to find your soulmate, how could you expect to find her in a month. Better do six and hope for the best. Ok, Credit Card accepted and you’re on your way to meeting the woman of your dreams.

Filling in your search parameters is easy, after all you’ve known what you were looking for forever. Ok cool, page one of 5000 matches. Holy smorgasbord, this is gonna be sweet! Hardest part will be deciding who I click with.

As you scroll through page after page, nothing. Nothing seems to resonate with you. So many of the profiles are the same. All of these women have been to every country in the world, six times and yet they’ve also had the same full time job for 20 years. Something just doesn’t add up.

Then it’s picture after picture of either her with another guy, her dog slobbering all over her or worst of all, a friend of hers that’s way hotter than she is. Ladies, if I can make a suggestion here. If you’re promoting pics of you hangin’ all over other guys, you don’t need to be on a dating site. If your dog is your whole world and you can’t go or be anywhere without it, no guy wants to play second fiddle to a dog.

And if all you’re looking for is someone to mow your lawn every Saturday or take your kids to soccer practice so that you don’t miss your nail appointment, perhaps you might want to get your priorities in order. No guy wants to be a last minute add on. Lastly, if you’re gonna show pics of your hot friends, at least put something in your profile about whether or not they’re single and if so, how to contact them. Just sayin’.

As you look closer at some of these pics, you begin to notice that some of them have the dates right on ‘em. Hmmmm, that’s funny. That doesn’t look like a ’10. Looks more like an ’01. As soon as you see that a photo is almost 10 years old, that’s an instant Red Flag! It immediately brings into play all kinds of doubt as to how much of her profile is actually legit. People, current pics are a must.

It’s just like the age thing. You’ll see an age posted at the top but then as you read their profile, they admit to being five years older than their posted age. As if their posted age is the age they wanna be, the age they act or the age, in their mind, they look but to come right out from the start, before you even begin your profile, you’re already fibbin’, that’s not a good sign either.

If you’re gonna be serious about this whole thing and truly want to build a relationship with someone, eventually you’re going to have to meet in real life. So why bother starting out with a lie? You’ll get found out sooner or later and the heartache will be much worse once you have a bit of your heart invested. Why not avoid that nightmare altogether?

Which basically brings us back to square one. How do you actually meet your life partner in todays world. Seems like all avenues have both their good and bad points. None of them are problem free, that’s for sure.

So do we just give up, throw in the towel, just too much friggin’ effort to take a chance on having our hearts broken one more time? Gosh, I hope not. I for one don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. That’s not to say that I want to be locked into a relationship that isn’t beneficial to me, just to avoid being alone. Such a cunundrum.

Well, if you need to get ahold of me, you know where to find me. Yep, I’ll be hangin’ out at the Shoe Store, waitin’ for my Solemate.

If you’re single and can relate to the Dating World, I’d like to hear your thoughts and if you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

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Wikipedia defines “Comfort Zone” as: The comfort zone is a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.

The comfort zone refers to the set of environments and behaviours with which somebody is comfortable, without creating a sense of risk. A person’s personality can be described by his or her comfort zones.

Highly successful persons may routinely step outside their comfort zones, to accomplish what they wish. A comfort zone is a type of mental conditioning that causes a person to create and operate mental boundaries. Such boundaries create an unfounded sense of security. Like inertia, a person who has established a comfort zone in a particular axis of his or her life, will tend to stay within that zone without stepping outside of it. To step outside a person’s comfort zone, they must experiment with new and different behaviours, and then experience the new and different responses that then occur within their environment.

Phew, that’s a mouthful! I think that basically what they’re saying is that it’s a self imposed safety zone of sorts, a place where nothing can go wrong in your life. A place where you can just kick back, let the world go by and nothing can hurt you.

A place where nothing ever goes wrong, every day is full of blue skies and sunshine. Well, I’ve got some news for you, it’s full of lots of other stuff as well. And some of it not so good.

Like boredom, depression, mediocrity, laziness, basically business as usual. Nothin out of the ordinary, ever! In essence, the home of status quo. Basically BO~RING but safe. Safe from harm. Safe from risk. Safe….from…well, from experiencing life. Sounds like tons o’ fun, huh? NOT!

I’m sure most of you know your own Comfort Zones very well, you’ve lived there your entire lives. You know exactly what to expect, no surprises there, that’s for sure. No surprises, for better….or for worse.

I say for worse because last I heard, life was meant to be experienced. In all ways. Be it people, places or things, each and every new adventure entails some amount of risk. After all, it wouldn’t be an adventure if you knew what was going to happen beforehand. But if not for that risk, I don’t think it would be considered an adventure.

“Adventure” is defined as: An activity that is perceived to involve risks, danger or exciting experiences.

In essence, life is an adventure. No matter how much we plan out our day, very rarely, if ever does it go according to plan. In fact, it usually doesn’t take very long before something happens to send your entire day off on a completely different path. One in which you had never even bothered to consider.

This is where your Comfort Zone comes into play because it’s decision time. You’re going to have to make a decision about something and chances are, it’s gonna mean the difference between layin’ low in your Comfort Zone or risking it all and venturing out to a brave new world, a new civilization, a place where more than likely you’ve never gone before.

So if I can pass anything along to someone else that might feel trapped, stuck in their own Zone, it’s that any time you take a chance, on anything, there is gonna be a certain amount of risk but I’m still here, alive and kickin’, to tell you that you’re not gonna die from it and if you’re lucky like me, you just might learn a thing or two. Who knows, you could end up with your own reward.

If you can relate to hidin’ in your own Comfort Zone, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

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How on earth am I supposed to compete? Compete against some kinda Fantasy Frog. I mean, to be honest, it’s just not fair. C’mon, this dude has set the bar so high, I’m not sure anybody can even come close to jumping it, let alone even touching it with their fingertips.

Oh yeah, we’ve all heard of him. Good ol’ P.C., Prince Daddy, the Fantasy Dude formerly known as Prince, The Princemeister, all meant to signify that most mysterious of guys, Prince Charming.

None of us have actually seen this guy in real life but yet he strikes fear in the hearts and minds of men all over the world. Well, at least in America. I’m not 100% sure they’ve heard of him in other Countries but I guess it’s possible. I mean, they could have a Le Prince Charming, an El Prince de Charming, The Prince of Charmingtown, Herr Prinze Charmengg, you get my drift.

From Bouncers to Bounty Hunters, Machinists to Mailmen, Roofers to Restauranteurs, all of them begin to shake inside at the mere mention of his name. Heck, I’ll bet that even Chuck Liddell, if you could get him to admit it, would say that the Prince of Charmingville is competition for him as well.

I mean c’mon, how can this be? How can we as a species be so intimidated by some dude that rides around town on a white horse, wearing tights and a cape?

Batman can get away with a cape. Superman can get away with a cape. These guys are bad asses that make mince meat outta bad guys. But I’m sure you’ll agree that the only guy good ol’ P.C. could actually take down might be Elton John. And that’s still a maybe, no guarantees.

Now he might be able to stomp you with his horse but he better stay on that horse, if he knows what’s good for him because I’d have to think that at this point, there are plenty of guys that would love to take him down.

Tons of guys that were never able to live up to the standards that he set oh so long ago. He didn’t just raise the bar, he set it so high that no mere human can even get near it. At least no human that I’ve ever heard of.

Which, when you think about it, is kinda crazy. Nobody really knows much about him, other than the fact that upon being kissed, he turns from some funky frog into a guy that all women fantasize about. Now THAT my friends….is magic.

Better than any magic that either David Copperfield OR David Blaine could ever dream up. No smoke ‘n mirrors here, no way. This Prince is fully legit. Well, at least as legit as a fantasy can be anyway.

I hadn’t even thought about this guy in forever, completely off my radar. That is until I received an email from a friend of mine a short while ago. I hadn’t heard from her in quite some time and I’m not afraid to admit that I almost hit my head on the ceiling, jumping for joy at the sight of her message. To say that I was happy to hear from her is an understatement, I was ecstatic.

As I perused her message (for the 1000th time), two words began to stand out, as if they were highlighted in yellow and I could feel my heartbeat begin to pick up the pace. I thought it was merely the excitement I was feeling, hearing from her after all that time.

But no, I began to realize it was more than that. It was the friggin’ Prince that was makin’ me all nervous. How do I live up to the standards he’s set? I don’t actually have any idea what those standards are but I have a pretty good feeling they’re not easily attainable. At least not in this world anyway.

Kinda makes you wonder if each woman sets her own bar for her Prince? After all, it’s her fantasy, she should be able to create a dream dude of her own making. And if so, how in the hell are you ever gonna figure out who or what she really wants in a guy? Jeez, talk about the Rubics Cube from Unattainableville, no way you’re even gonna come close to solving that riddle. Don’t even bother to try. It ain’t gonna happen.

So I guess when it comes right down to it, even though us guys would love to be able to fulfill all of those fantasies, there’s just no way that’s gonna happen and so all we can really do…. is be ourselves.

I know, boring huh? That’s not to say that we can’t entertain her with fantasies of our own making. Hopefully some of them will resonate with her. Who knows, perhaps we might even share some of the same fantasies? How cool would THAT be?

But we really have no other option. We’d have to be mind readers to even attempt to come close to figuring out what women want and the split second we look away from our Crystal Ball, you guessed it, they will have changed their minds and it’s time to start guessing all over again. Talk about a no win situation.

All we can do is give kudos to the Prince, the magnificent Prince Charming as he truly is the guy that all of us men wish we were. The guy that every woman wants and waits her entire life to find.

If you can relate to battling against the Prince, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, please share it with your friends.

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Good Guys vs Bad Boys. That age ol’ battle, more than likely since the beginning of time. What type of men are most women attracted to?

Firstly, let me just start off by saying that I fully understand that this is a dangerous topic and while some might wonder why the heck I’m even goin’ there, those that know me and are familiar with my writing know all to well that I’m pretty much fearless when it comes to tackling subjects that others simply refuse to. In essence, I’m the go there guy. Despite my better judgement.

As I mentioned earlier, I’d have to think that this has been going on since women were able to make a choice on their own as far as who they wanted to be with. Good or Bad, Good or Bad, oh Mom, which guy should I choose???

This might not have applied in the Caveman days as it seems to me that when a first date consists of a guy draggin’ a woman by her hair, into his cave and havin’ his way with her, that would basically put ALL guys in the Bad Boy category.

And perhaps this was also the case in the days of the Roman Empire. Not sure women had much choice back then either. I wouldn’t think that Good Guys had much luck as being nice probably got you thrown in with the lions or at the very least, you ended up breakin’ rocks until your arms and legs were yanked from your body as you were being pulled apart by two separate Chariots, headin’ in two different directions. Not good to be a Good Guy in those days, that’s for sure.

The women, if they did happen to take a chance on speaking up in regards to who it was they wanted to date, would more than likely have had their heads chopped off before they could even get the words out. Probably a good idea just to keep ones mouth shut, or forever hold your head….ooops, your peace.

Even in the days of the Kings ‘n Queens in jolly ol’ England, not really a good idea to speak your mind, let alone having a Bumper Sticker on ones Pumpkin saying something along the lines of “Good Guys Rule!” because at the very least, you’d be scrubbin’ floors and cleanin’ Chamber Pots as your evil step sisters were out carousing with all the Bad Boys in town.

A womans only hope was to be born into a wealthy family but even then, they still didn’t have much of a choice as these were the days of the arranged marriages and as such, they would end up with Lord Goofball III by default. So these weren’t so much choices as stuck withs. Ahhh, the good ol’ days.

Jeez, up until now I hadn’t really put all this together but maybe women have been ingrained to want Bad Boys, whether that’s what they really want or not. Maybe they just can’t help themselves?

Is it a matter of going against what they’re told to want, as in their elders telling them to watch out for the Bad Boys as they will treat them badly, abuse them and then leave them? And so they have no other choice but to go against the grain in an attempt to find out for themselves if what they were told is actually true? Hmmmmm…… I wonder.

Or is it them thinkin’ that this time is gonna be different? Somehow this guy will love them so much that the guy will do whatever it takes to make her happy and if changing his evil ways is what it’s gonna take to get her to stay, then so be it. Like somehow they’re gonna fix him.

Good luck with that one. As we all know, people in general, especially guys (of which I’m one) rarely if ever change. Especially not for someone else, let alone for themselves. Sure, we all grow in one way or another and we attempt to better ourselves but not many will change for someone else. At least not their entire moral outlook, their entire character. I’d have to think that we’re pretty much us from the time we become adults.

So why is it then that you see so many women with Bad Boys? Do they think it’s cool? Do they like the feeling of doing something wrong and gettin’ away with it? To be honest, I have no idea. No idea whatsoever. It seems like they always complain about gettin’ treated like crap. And then they go back to them. Go figure.

I’d like to think I’m from the other side of the tracks. I’d have to consider myself to be one of those idiots….ooops, I mean one of the Good Guys. You know the type, the guys that finish last! Yep, that’s us.

Oh sure, women say that they want nice guys but I’ve yet to see anything to prove this theory to be true. Could it be the lack of drama? The missing daily controversy? The fact that all nice guys wanna do is treat their partners right, to get along?

Hell, where’s the excitement in that? Sounds kinda boring, doesn’t it? I mean, without all the drama, the constant fighting and bickering, what’s left in a relationship?

All you end up with is love. Pure, unrelenting, selfless, love and devotion and who the hell wants to live a life as drama free as that? Well, for starters, I do. Yep, to me, drama and controversy suck. There’s enough stress in life without having to add to it in a relationship. I don’t do drama. No thanks, not my cup of green tea.

I’d much rather spend my time being happy, laughing and enjoying life. After all, isn’t that what life is really all about? I sure think so anyway.

So I guess we’ll just have to leave this as an open ended question, an unsolved mystery. Good or Bad, I have no idea what women really want. Which is probably a good thing because there’s a pretty good chance I’m not gonna reinvent myself as someone else. At least not anytime soon.

If you have any thoughts in regards to the battle between good and bad, I’d enjoy hearing them and if you liked this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

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Attraction: A force that, exerted between or among bodies, tends to make them approach each other or prevents their separating.

Sounds so simple but in reality it’s anything but. It’s a natural feeling, a trait that all of us posess, the ability to be attracted by and to other things, living or otherwise.

Whether it be people, places, things, it really doesn’t matter what it is. We are all different and as such, we are attracted to different things. Thankfully the world is full of so many exciting and wonderful things to keep us occupied for all of eternity.

On the other side of that endless supply of attraction is a trade off of sorts. As we all know, right along side attraction comes desire. That’s when it gets to be a bit more difficult. Difficult to not let that attraction for whatever it might be get ahold of us, driving us straight down the road to misery merely because we can’t obtain whatever it is we are attracted to, that thing (or things) we desire.

This isn’t to say that attraction and desire can’t be good things because they surely can be. They give us purpose, drive, motivation, all of those reasons that we need to pursue our goals, to chase after our WHY. Ah yes, our why.

Why do we get up in the morning? Why do we bother to get out of bed? Why do we go to work and struggle through all of lifes trials and tribulations? Why do we continue to ride this roller coaster of highs ‘n lows? If we don’t have a why, we’re pretty much not going to get very far in life….if anywhere at all.

Our why can also be the basis for our goals. Without our goals, how would we ever find a direction, a path in which to begin our journey? Why would we even bother? If there wasn’t anything waiting for us at the end of the rainbow, nothing to achieve, no fuel for our passion, then why even get started. Might as well lay around on the couch all day, doin’ nothin’.

Motivation is also affected by attraction. If we are attracted to something (or someone) we’re much more likely to go after it, to take risks, to go out on a limb to make it happen. Yes, motivation plays a huge part in what we achieve in life and again, without it, tons of couch time is sure to be in our future.

I also believe that the Law of Attraction plays a huge part in our lives. While some of you might think it’s just Mumbo Jumbo, I firmly believe that if you put your effort into thinking positively about what it is you really want out of life rather than concentrating on all the negative stuff you don’t want, your life can and will be changed for the better.

Sure, there’s a pretty good chance that a naked Genie isn’t gonna pop out of a Lamp any time soon but that’s not to say that some good things aren’t bound to come your way. Along with good thoughts, some form of action is also required to make any positive changes in your life but the combination of those two can and will pay huge dividends in your future.

Why not give it a shot? After all, what have you really got to lose anyway? I can’t think of anyone that couldn’t use a bit more good stuff happening in their lives. Even the wealthiest people on earth want more out of life. That’s what keeps them motivated, driven to succeed. They all have a why that drives them to do more, to be more, to live more.

Attraction is also a huge force in our relationships, those that we’ve been in, are currently in and those that we would like to be in. After all, what else motivates us to even think about risking our most precious resource, our hearts, in such a way? If we aren’t attracted to someone, why take a chance on having our hearts stepped on, mangled and thrown away like a worthless piece of nothing? Way too risky, wouldn’t you agree?

And knowing this all too well, Match just happens to throw some bait our way, telling us “It’s ok to look”, knowing damn well that we’re gonna look! And once we look, we’re pretty much screwed at that point. That’s when good ol’ attraction kicks in and we see someone we want to know better. And then it’s on!

All the inner turmoil begins, the angst, the anxiety, all the questions start brewing in our minds and in our hearts. Should we take it to the next level and contact this person? Lay our hearts on the line? What if they reject us? Even worse, what if they don’t respond at all? Damn attraction! Gets us every time.

While some people find it’s enough for them just to be wanted, to be needed by someone, I myself find that it’s even more difficult to find a connection that is mutual. A connection to where both of us feel the same about each other.

While I might not be the greatest catch in the world, I’m surely not the worst either. I mean, have you heard about our overcrowded Prison system? Ok then, there’s gotta be someone in there that’s not as dateable as I am. HA!

And so I feel that it’s my decision as to whom I choose to pursue. I truly believe that attraction HAS to be mutual. I think deep down inside we all want someone to desire us and want to be with us as much as we want to be with them. Nothing wrong with that at all.

And I also believe that attraction can’t be manufactured, either it’s there or it isn’t but it it’s not up to us to decide. Like happiness, it’s an inside job and so the Universe is just gonna have to take care of it.

Whether we want to admit it or not, I truly believe that the initial spark as it were has to be there right from the start. We all want butterflies and to a certain degree, we can hope that a caterpillar will eventually do its thing and blossom into a wonderful winged creature, fluttering inside our tummies but still there are no guarantees.

No guarantees that we’ll ever find that mutual attraction. Does it mean that we should settle for less than we want out of a relationship? Should we just give up? In my opinion, hell no! I think that the minute you settle for less, less than what you want, less than what you deserve, you will always be disappointed.

We all want to be loved, it’s only natural and I for one believe that we were never put on this earth to be alone. And it’s attraction that will keep us moving forward on our quest, our quest to find our Life Partner, our Soulmate as it were.

So thankfully, attraction is just there, like a built in GPS. A part of our being, part of our Soul, a driving force within us because without it, we’d surely be lost.

If you have any thoughts on attraction that you’d like to share, I’d enjoy hearing about them and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

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It was good while it lasted. Oh, the times we had together, just you and me. Conversing endlessly without uttering a word, refusing to let anyone or anything else distract us from each other. Caught up in all the hopes and dreams of a wonderfully magic future together, the unknown being layed out before us along the Golden Highway Of Information.

Yes, it was exquisite to say the least. Better than either of us ever imagined it would, let alone could be. Knowing full well that no one else on earth could even begin to come close to sharing what we shared. What is it they say, “Two hearts beating as one?” That pretty much sums up our relationship in a nutshell. We were inseparable, never feeling lonelier that when we were apart.

Even though we were never more than a mouse click away from each other, sometimes it felt like we were millions of ‘emiles’ apart. On those rare occasions that I would wake up, run to my computer, only to Log On and find that you hadn’t left me a message, I’m not ashamed to admit now that my heart would drop to my stomach.

Was it something I said? Maybe something I didn’t say? There MUST be some kinda misunderstanding here. Then the turmoil of the unknown would begin to take over, along with all of its second guessing and the ‘wish I could take it backs’.

Like a lonely Text sent off into Cyberspace, not knowing if it reached it’s destination or not. If it didn’t get there, should you send it again? Ohhhh, at the risk of looking like a CyberStalker there’s just no way you can take a chance hitting ‘send’ again, can you? No way! All you can do it sit there, with your hands tucked under your legs, trying your best to slow down your imagination and not touch the keyboard. Jeez, I can feel an ulcer brewing already!

And if your Text did arrive at its intended destination, then why no response yet? Too busy, a blow off, mad, all those questions and more begin to spin throughout your head until you’re so dizzy you wish you could throw up and get it over with, just so you’d feel better. Yikes, it’s no wonder I hate texting so much.

But that was the feeling I got when I didn’t hear from you. How did I become so attached, so completely vulnerable? That is something I truly can’t answer. Yet it’s painfully obvious that I was completely under your spell.

Although we started out as mere acquaintances, two strangers passing in the night so to speak, somehow our ‘relationship’ blossomed into something so indescribably wonderful that I’m sure very few others could claim anything near as grand as what we shared.

Yet, like almost all good things, this too must come to an end. I feel I’m no longer in charge of my life, let alone my inner being. My soul. All hopes of regaining order are far outweighed by the magnitude of my feelings. My wants, my needs have taken over and all my priorities seem to have been left by the wayside.

As I continue to struggle with this situation, doing everything in my power to hang on to my last shred of dignity, not wanting to succumb to the painful reality that I am well aware of and know all too well is waiting for me just ahead, I begin to realize that I’m steadfastly running out of strength.

Strength to fight this ‘Demon’, this Monster that I created myself. Yes, me and me alone. I have no one else to blame for this terrible situation but myself. After all, I started it and knowing that, I feel it’s up to me to end it.

And while I knew damn well it had to happen sometime, I truly did my best to put it off as long as possible. Oh, some might say that I buried my head in the sand, not wanting to face reality and in all honesty, I’d have trouble posing a good argument against their accusations. But if they knew the bond I felt, that special ‘something’ that only we shared, perhaps they would be a bit less harsh. Just a little more understanding.

Knowing full well the writing has been ‘on the wall’ for quite some time now doesn’t make what I’m about to say an easier for me. I’m sure you know that. And even if you don’t want to, I’m sure if you look inside, deep down inside your heart, you’ll know it’s for the best. The best for both of us.

And so with that, I’m left with no other choice. Please believe me, I’ve thought about this for a very long time. I’ve struggled with this for so long now, yet I’ve been unable to come up with a reason strong enough, legitimate enough to avoid the heartbreak that I know we are both about to endure. But break your heart I must.

Therefore, knowing I have done everything to the best of my ability to avoid the unavoidable, at this point I’m left with no other option. All I can do now….is UNSUBSCRIBE!

Yes, I’m afraid that’s what it’s come down to. While I look so forward to your daily, sometimes two and three times a day correspondence I feel as if I have no other option. For some time now I have let your ‘e~notes’ consume my entire existence, ceasing to live my own life, on my own terms.

Not that I didn’t look forward to receiving each and every message that you sent. No, don’t think that. You know I did. Every time I opened my Inbox, I felt like I was an Astronaut at Cape Canaveral, anxiously awaiting another Launch. The anxiety I felt over every ‘countdown’ just can’t be described.

That tumultous feeling, wondering whether or not your Server was gonna crash [no, not again!] just after ‘take off’ was sometimes just too much to bear. Even though it crashed about 99% of the time, there was still the small chance that it wouldn’t, which left the door of surprise slightly ajar.

Oh, and the way you created all the angst with all of your ‘time sensitive’ Trinkets, keeping me at the edge of my keyboard seemingly every minute of the day and night was pure genius. Get In Now, Closing The Doors In Two Hours, Only 6 More Fast Action Bonuses Available, Secrets That Only The Biggest Gurus Know, all the clever copywriting kept me glued to my monitor for sure.

I mean, I’m a complete sucker for fre*e knowledge and somehow you knew that about me. Perhaps you Googled me, I’m not sure but no doubt you did your research. Not just Keyword research but some real diggin’, more than you’d ever get from my email address.

Which reminds me. Those clever ‘In Boxes’ of yours sure were mesmerizing to say the least. Flashing this, blinking that, scrolling left and right with arrows jiggling all over the place. It was like dangling a carrot in front of a horse, no way to resist.

And once I was ‘inside’, searching for a way to download my f*ree Ebook, that’s when you knew you had me. “You’ll never have this opportunity again, once this page is gone, it’s gone forever, once in a lifetime a program like this comes along, don’t miss it, BONUS, BONUS, BONUS!!!” Yes, I’ll admit I did get sucked in a few times but I’d like to think I learned a few things along the way. At least I hope so anyway.

I’m always on a quest for knowledge and so I don’t look at this as a wasted journey by any means. After all, I have learned quite a bit from all my research, not to mention tons of trial and error. More error than I probably would have liked to have had but I guess that’s all part of the process.

That’s not to say that I know anything at all about the Internet, Computers, Webinars, HTML, SEO, Backlinks, Trackbacks, Social Media, Affiliate Marketing, Clickbank, Google Ad Words, Selling Info Products Online or anything else but I’m sure I know more now than I did a year ago.

But my quest for online knowledge has really only just begun. And while I feel as if I’m abandoning ‘you’, in essence I’m not. I’m merely going to make an effort to restructure my online search in an effort to become a bit more laser focused on my goals rather than to attempt taking in all of the f*ree knowledge available.

I continually had the feeling that if I was to ‘Opt Out’, the very next day I would be missing out on that one special ‘nugget’, that special something that would lead me to the fast track, straight to the end of the rainbow.

Only problem is, I’ve already got a hard drive full of Ebooks and PDF’s that I know would add tons to my online schooling but as of yet, I haven’t even read them. Like they say, “So much knowledge, so little time” or something like that.

And so, it is with a heavy heart that I must do my best to let go. I’m sure you know how hard this is for me and I hope you’ll understand. It’s just that I need my life back. Well, what little there is left of it. I’m afraid that if I don’t break these ties at some point, I may never have a life again.

My thirst for knowledge is stronger than the both of us and that is the one thing I can always depend on but if I don’t focus in a bit better, find some semblance of direction for my online endeavors, I honestly feel that I will continue to spin my wheels, digging myself deeper into a hole. A hole from which I may never escape.

Therefore, I must bid most [not quite all] of you farewell. You know I hate to go… but go I must. I can’t begin to thank you enough for all of your Fr*ee knowledge, help and advice. Please don’t take any of this personally. I assure you it’s nothing personal, it’s just business.

And as I mentioned earlier, it’s you, not me. I mean it’s me, not you. Ah, the hell with it. It’s BOTH of us!

If you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d pass it along to your friends. Perhaps they can relate and who knows, maybe we can even form some kind of a Support Group.

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How do I even begin to put in to words just how much meeting you has meant to me? It seems that mere words aren’t enough to say what’s on my mind and in my heart. To tell you how I truly feel. Yet, in some way I need to tell the world about one of the most wonderful people I could have ever hoped to have met. While I made an attempt in an earlier post, You Were Right On Time!, I feel the need to let everyone know just how incredible you truly are.

I have struggled with this post for about a month now. It was approximately this time last month that I received the saddest news ever, that one of the sweetest people I have ever known had passed away. That I had lost someone so dear to my heart, that I would never again get to talk with you, to hear your beautiful voice. Needless to say I was devastated by the news and have been ever since.

And as you can tell, I’m having extreme difficulty refering to anything in the past tense. I keep hoping that the next time I open my eyes, this will all be just a bad dream, a nightmare of sorts and that all of a sudden my phone will ring and it will be you on the other end, calling to tell me that everything is ok. Oh, how I need to hear your voice right now.


Every time I sit down at my desk and attempt to express my emotions, my inner feelings, the flood of tears begins to flow uncontrollably and the river of sorrow clouds my eyes to the point of not being able to see the keyboard and with my lack of typing skills, I need to look at the keys quite often. This has been one of, if not the most difficult posts I’ve ever written.


Yet I know I can’t give up, I need to persevere. In fact, after spending the last few hours typing this post the first time [yes, I said the "first" time] my computer ‘locked up’ and I completely lost everything I had originally written. Even though the draft had apparently been saved, obviously that wasn’t the case. And so here we go, again. I refuse to give up.


Speaking of refusing to give up, that’s one of many things that I learned from you. All the times I complained about losing a girlfriend, a car, even my Condo and wanted to have a ‘pity party’, to just ‘pack it in’, to just get drunk and more or less just bail on life, you had a very subtle way of letting me know that quitting wasn’t even an option. That every problem that I looked at as being so insurmountable was merely just another bump on the road of life. Another chance to gain a bit of experience.

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Jeez, is it just me or does Instant Messenger suck just as much as Texting does? Or do they both suck equally, just different size screens? I don’t know about you but the frustration level between what I’m trying to say and what is actually coming out on the screen can be brutal. Those that read my earlier post on texting pretty much have a good idea about my thoughts on texting. While it does have its place, you just can’t have a relationship of any substance, let alone with zero emotion, through texting. Quick snippets here and there are fine but an actual conversation, no way.

It’s beginning to appear that IM is more or less the same thing, only with a larger screen. Now, I have to admit that I am lagging rather badly in my typing skills and with that being said, I’m more than willing to admit that this negative attitude toward IM’ing could clearly be due to my lack of skills. I find myself constantly having to type as fast as possible, smoke coming off of both of my fingertips, all in an effort to keep up with a question that was asked four or five lines ago. By the time I finish semi proofreading and look up at the screen, just before I hit ‘enter’, my response is no where near where it should be in relation to everything that’s on the screen.

So here again, do you quickly delete this response before you even send it or do you at least respond to the question that was asked many sentences ago? Oh, the angst that fills my body is excruciating. I don’t want it to appear that I’m not listening or heaven forbid, not participating in this cyber conversation but the confusion just seems to mount as time goes on.

Then it’s the dreaded “HUH?” Huh, what? you ask yourself. As you scroll up you see that the other person could be referring to so many things and you have no idea which one of these questions was left unanswered. Are you ignoring me now? Are you mad? Nooooooooooo, I’m not ignoring you and I’m not mad! Why would you think that? I’m typing as fast as I can!!! All the confusion begins and then it’s a rollercoaster from hell, barely hangin’ on the tracks by two wheels, one more tight curve and we’re airborne with the ground comin’ up awfully fast!

How could all this have even happened.? The conversation started off so well. I’m soooo happy to hear from you. Ohhhh, me toooo! But then how on earth did it turn in to a tennis match, and one so uneven at that. Like a game between David Letterman and Venus Williams, someone’s gonna lose and I seriously doubt it’s gonna be Venus.

Perhaps there needs to be a written exam before you can even download IM to your computer? Some kind of an IM License needs to be issued, at least of WPM test. Sure, it all seems like a great idea at the start. Direct connection, no waiting in between messages and best of all, no stupid 140 character limit to edit your thoughts. Yet, those are the aspects of IM that can take you down. Literally.

Here again, the discrepency between the two IMers has so much to do with how well the conversation will go. While the skill levels can never be exactly the same, the rules must be set forth in the beginning regarding the speed of the reply, the spelling errors, lack of punctuation, etc. in order to keep the doors of understanding wide open. If not, all hell is gonna break loose. It’s only a matter of time.

So I for one, admittedly lacking in IM skills, will be the first to admit that I might [most likely am] be the cause of most of this confusion. As such I would ask for a bit of compassion, maybe even a little extra understanding for my plight. While I’m doing my best to get and stay caught up with the conversation, I truly am going as fast as my two fingers can type. Please take that in to consideration before you get upset and wonder why the hell I would say whatever the hell it is I said in such a way that I said whatever it was that I said. OK?

The technology of today has created so many incredible ways of communicating, all meant to enhance our lives but we all must keep in mind that some of us are further along in this learning curve than others and therefore a bit more leeway is needed in various situations. And so with that, I will give both of my fingers a break for now. That way I’m fresh and ready to go the next time I see that flashing orange box, letting me know the race is on!

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