Yes, believe it or not, disaster does create opportunity. Now, you may be saying to yourself, that statement sounds utterly ridiculous and not too long ago I might have been inclined to agree with you.

I mean, really, how on earth can a nightmare come to life turn out to be a gift in disguise? Basically, it’s because what we have isn’t always what we need, despite our thinking to the contrary.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” Well I was never a big believer in this theory but as of late, I’ve come to understand it better and it’s quite possible that there may actually be some truth to it.

Take owning a home for example. The American Dream, from our earliest childhood memories, we’ve all dreamed of a place to call our own. A home we could fix up just the way we like it, perhaps right on the beach or maybe a Golf Course, a Lake, the mountains, wherever your dream destination might be. Oh, it would be sooooo wonderful.

Or so we think anyway. For some reason they forgot to mention the huge mortgage payments, Property Taxes, maintenance, upgrades, etc., etc. Next thing you know, your house becomes your life. Every waking (and sometimes sleeping) minute is spent thinking about everything you have to take care of, whether it be monetarily or otherwise and it doesn’t leave you a whole lotta room to enjoy it. I’ve got news for you, home ownership is a full time job.

What about that exotic new car you’ve been dreaming of. You know the one, the 2013 PORSCHEMBORGHINERRARI GTLP6565XV SUPER ITALUDERIA. Oh, what a beauty. All the reviews can’t stop drooling about what an unbelieveable machine it is. “Best car in the world”, “Nothing faster short of an F-18 Hornet”, “Turns on a dime and gives you back two nickles in change!” Yeah, THAT ONE!

So you head on down to the PORSCHEMBORGHINERRARI Dealership, lay down your $980K and drive away with your dream machine. Then it hits you, this thing drives like crap! This isn’t ANYTHING like the reviews said it was. No doubt, given the opportunity, you would have test driven it before you bought it but they wanted you to fill out all the Purchase paperwork, get pre qualified, basically everything you would have to do to purchase the car, short of a final signature and at that point, you weren’t 100% sure you were even gonna buy one.

Too late now, it’s yours. You DID buy it, along with all of the maintenance and upkeep which, according to the warranty, MUST be completed by the Dealership. In essence, you’re locked in for the next three years to $1900 oil changes and $3800 tune~ups. Welcome to the world of Exotic Supercar ownership. Is it everything you thought it would be? Probably not.

Here again, they forgot to mention the fact that you’d really only want to drive this car once or twice a month. Any more than that and you’d either throw your back out from the Super Stiff Sport Suspension or the high cost of maintenance alone would pretty much wipe your wallet out.

Perhaps a Motorhome is more your thing? You could plunk down about $350K, then try to figure out a place to store it for about $500 a month, not to mention upkeep and maintenance. Heaven forbid you actually wanted to use it, that could cost you another couple grand in fuel. For the weekend! Not exactly a dream come true.

My point to all this is the fact that while lots of things sound great, in reality, owning them might not be such a wonderful thing. Things and stuff require effort which in turn removes alot of the fun factor out of owning them.

Which brings me back to my original thought. I had (and still have) lots of those same dreams, just like everyone else. I wanted a place on a Golf Course from as far back as I can remember. Same with an amazing Euro~Exotic Supercar. Way before I even had my Drivers License, I’ve been a Car Guy. It’s in my DNA, no gettin’ around it.

So a few years ago, I stretched myself thinner than Stretch Armstrong ever could and I bought my Dream Condo on the golf course. I had a friend that had let me stay in this very Condo thirteen years prior and I had never forgotten it. So to finally buy THAT same Condo after all this time was a huge achievement for me. Matter of fact, it was for sale when I stayed there and I had kept the Sales Flyer all that time. That’s the kind of impact it had on me and I told myself that someday I would buy it…. and I did.

There I was, my back patio was on the 11th Fairway of The Stadium Course at PGA West in La Quinta and I was livin’ the dream. Waking up to that view every day was more than I could have hoped for.

There was only one thing missing. If I’m gonna live here, behind the gates on Millionaires Row, I need a better car to drive. Not that I was out to impress anyone, I just wanted to fulfill my dream. Nothing wrong with that, right?

So I sold everything I had that wasn’t bolted down and I bought the BMW I had fantasized about since I was a kid. No, I take that back. This BMW was a million times better than anything I could have ever conjured up in my mind.

Just sitting in the car, all of my troubles were immediately forgotten and I was transported to another place and time. Yes, it had an incredible stereo, thirteen speakers pumpin’ out perfection but I found that I rarely had the tunes on as the sound from the 10 cylinder engine was so much sweeter than any song that was playin’ through the speakers. I came to realize that I loved that car as much, if not more than my Condo.

But reality began to sink in. On paper, I had it all figured out. If I sell this, this and this, put that money into this, that will knock down my payments on this which will allow me to put more into this and so at that point, I’ll be able to afford this AND that. Perfect, should be no problem at all.

I was more than willing to sacrifice basically everything I owned just to keep the two things I really wanted. Unfortunately, as we all know, things don’t always go according to plan. Yes, I sold everything I had originally planned to but at nowhere near the prices I had planned on. Time was an issue, basically being under the gun as it were as I had deals that needed funding.

I’m sure most of you have heard by now, we’re pretty much in a recession and all of my cost cutting started right around the same time the Real Estate market began to fall off a cliff. Needless to say, I chased the market downhill but as I look back, not nearly as quickly as I needed to. I should have been running my ass off instead of briskly walking. Oh well, live ‘n’ learn.

Long story short, first thing to go was a rental property I had purchased with a buddy of mine. Next in line was my dream Condo. I was never able to knock down the mortgage payments to something feasible so I had to walk away in a Short Sale. The REAL killer was my BMW. I had a (sickening) feeling that once that was gone, along with it would go all of my motivation. My reason to get out of bed in the morning, my reason to go on.

Was I ever right. Sure enough, watching that car leave on the bed of that tow truck, without me behind the wheel hit me harder than I even thought it would. My biggest dream in life, wiped away in a heartbeat. Talk about a feeling of failure, I immediately became the Poster Child for Loser!

Since then, I also lost another piece of land but nothing hurt as bad as losing my German Dream Machine. And while I would have loved to stay in bed for the next couple (10 or 20) years, I really couldn’t. Mostly because I had to sell all of my furniture as well so no bed to sleep on. It was probably for the best as most of the furniture wouldn’t fit in a Cardboard Condo anyway.

I’m not 100% sure how long it’s been since most of this went down, probably about two or three years and while it’s by no means over yet, some healing has taken place. I still owe a fortune on a HELOC and in Credit Cards, my FICO Score is now about a -33 and I can’t afford a battery operated toothbrush. But besides all that, things are looking good.

Even though I say that sort of sarcastically (ok, REALLY sarcastically), when it comes right down to it, now that I’ve lost everything on earth, strange as it may seem, I’ve also gained something at the same time. HUH? How can that be?

I can hear you right now, laughing, saying what on earth could he have gained? The guy’s a homeless, penniless, Bum that’s in debt up to his eyeballs, no way could he have gained anything. (BTW, I take offense to the Bum comment)

Well, you’d be wrong. After losing my hopes, dreams and pretty much every material thing I owned (and some I didn’t own), I actually gained something that (luckily) can’t be bought. If it was something that you had to buy, I couldn’t afford it. It’s something that most all of us take for granted, at least until we lose it. It’s Freedom. I gained back some of my freedom.

We tend to lose some freedom as we take on more responsibility, that’s the trade off. And a sacrifice that one must be willing to make if you’re gonna participate in life.

No big deal, you’d think, as the stuff you’re gonna buy gives you some freedom as well. Freedom to come and go and to BE whatever it is you want to be. Freedom to live your life the way you want to.

But responsibility can be a hell of a burden. It doesn’t seem to be highlighted in a Purchase Agreement when you buy a home or on the Window Sticker when you buy a vehicle but no doubt it’s there, hovering over you like a vulture awaiting its next meal.

Do I have any regrets from some of my past decisions? You better believe it. Do I feel like a failure? Damn right I do. If I could go back and do it over again, would I make the same decisions? HELL NO! What do you think I am, an idiot?

But at the point in my life when this all started, I had to make some serious decisions. I owned a house, free and clear and I could have just sat in the driveway, staring at the beautiful view and gotten drunk every day for the rest of my life (as short as that might have been). That was option one and since I had quit drinking just about a year or so prior to all this goin’ down, I really wasn’t likin’ that option too much.

Option two was to totally change my life, chase my dreams, live a life that I had always wanted to. I had lived a life of misery for so long that I HAD to make a change. So I sacrificed everything to make my dreams come true and for a short while, I WAS living my dream. Then reality (with an assist from the tanking of the Real Estate market) stepped in and kicked my ass. It was(is) a beat down I won’t soon forget. How can I, the Collection Agencies won’t let me!

Luckily for me time marches on and with that I’m beginning to look at things from the other side. Sure, I have nothing left but on the other hand, I have nothing left. Nothing left to get in my way, to keep me from rebuilding my life, the way I want to. Ok, so it might be a couple few years before I’m able to finance a toaster but hell, when it comes right down to it, toast is overrated anyway.

Who would have ever thought that all the disasters of these last couple years would have opened up any new opportunities? Not me, that’s for sure. I had been so busy wallowing in all my misery, throwing one continuous Pity Party for myself that I couldn’t hold my head up long enough to see anything in my future besides a life of couch surfin’ and microwave burritos. At least until I could find a decent place to homestead my new Cardboard Condo.

With a drastic change in my mindset and a severe attitude adjustment, I’m beginning to feel that rather than letting this be the end to my Dream Life, I’d much rather redirect my focus towards fulfilling another life long dream or two.

And who knows, maybe this new life of mine might even be a little less stressful than before. Hey, I can dream, can’t I? After all, everything in life comes from a dream. One thing’s for sure, it’s gonna be different and with that comes more opportunities that I’m not even aware of…. yet.

And so maybe losing everything has some kind of a silver lining to it, perhaps it wasn’t all for nothing. Maybe it was to learn a lesson on what NOT to do with your life. I’ve always been a risk taker, that won’t change. I firmly believe that without taking risks, there’s no rewards. But in the future, I’ll make sure my Ego and my Pride aren’t drivin’ the train!

From Disaster…. Comes Opportunity. Can you believe I just said that? I can…. now.

If you have any similar experiences in this type of a situation, I’d enjoy hearing about them and how you went on to conquer them. And if you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with your friends. Thank you.