Firstly, let me just start off by saying that I fully understand that this is a dangerous topic and while some might wonder why the heck I’m even goin’ there, those that know me and are familiar with my writing know all to well that I’m pretty much fearless when it comes to tackling subjects that others simply refuse to delve into. In essence, I’m the go there guy. Despite my own better judgement.

As I mentioned earlier, I’d have to think that this has been going on since women were able to make a choice on their own as far as who they wanted to be with. Good or Bad, Good or Bad, oh Mom, which guy should I choose???

This might not have applied in the Caveman days as it seems to me that when a first date consists of a guy draggin’ a woman by her hair, into his cave and havin’ his way with her, that would basically put ALL guys in the Bad Boy category.

And perhaps this was also the case in the days of the Roman Empire. Not sure women had much choice back then either. I wouldn’t think that Good Guys had much luck as being nice probably got you thrown in with the lions or at the very least, you ended up breakin’ rocks until your arms and legs were yanked from your body as you were being pulled apart by two separate Chariots, headin’ in two different directions. Not good to be a Good Guy in those days, that’s for sure.

The women, if they did happen to take a chance on speaking up in regards to who it was they wanted to date, would more than likely have had their heads chopped off before they could even get the words out. Probably a good idea just to keep ones mouth shut, or forever hold your head…. ooops, your peace.

Even in the days of the Kings ‘n Queens in jolly ol’ England, not really a good idea to speak your mind, let alone having a bumper sticker on ones Magic Pumpkin saying something along the lines of “Good Guys Rule!” because at the very least, you’d be scrubbin’ floors and cleanin’ chamber pots as your evil step sisters were out carousing with all the Bad Boys in town.

A womans only hope was to be born into a wealthy family but even then, they still didn’t have much of a choice as these were the days of the arranged marriages and as such, they would end up with Lord Goofball III by default. So these weren’t so much choices as stuck withs. Ahhh, the good ol’ days.

Jeez, up until now I hadn’t really put all this together but maybe women have been ingrained to want Bad Boys, whether that’s what they really want or not. Maybe they just can’t help themselves?

Is it a matter of going against what they’re told to want, as in their elders telling them to watch out for the Bad Boys as they will treat them badly, abuse them and then leave them? And so they have no other choice but to go against the grain in an attempt to find out for themselves if what they were told is actually true? Hmmmmm…… I wonder.

Or is it them thinkin’ that this time is gonna be different? Somehow this guy will love them so much that the guy will do whatever it takes to make her happy and if changing his evil ways is what it’s gonna take to get her to stay, then so be it. Like somehow they’re gonna fix him.

Good luck with that one. As we all know, people in general, especially guys (of which I’m one) rarely if ever change. Especially not for someone else, let alone for themselves. Sure, we all grow in one way or another and we attempt to better ourselves but not many will change for someone else. At least not their entire moral outlook, their entire character. I’d have to think that we’re pretty much us from the time we become adults.

So why is it then that you see so many women with Bad Boys? Do they think it’s cool? Do they like the feeling of doing something wrong and gettin’ away with it? To be honest, I have no idea. No idea whatsoever. It seems like they always complain about gettin’ treated like crap. And then they go back to them. Go figure.

I’d like to think I’m from the other side of the tracks. I’d have to consider myself to be one of those idiots… .ooops, I mean one of the Good Guys. You know the type, the guys that finish last! Yep, that’s us.

Oh sure, women say that they want nice guys but I’ve yet to see anything to prove this theory to be true. Could it be the lack of drama? The missing daily controversy? The fact that all nice guys wanna do is treat their partners right, to get along?

Hell, where’s the excitement in that? Sounds kinda boring, doesn’t it? I mean, without all the drama, the constant fighting and bickering, what’s left in a relationship?

All you end up with is love. Pure, unrelenting, selfless, love and devotion and who the hell wants to live a life as drama free as that? Well, for starters, I do. Yep, to me, drama and controversy suck. There’s enough stress in life without having to add to it in a relationship. I don’t do drama. No thanks, not my cup of green tea.

I’d much rather spend my time being happy, laughing and enjoying life. After all, isn’t that what life is really all about? I sure think so anyway.

So I guess we’ll just have to leave this as an open ended question, an unsolved mystery. Good or Bad, I have no idea what women really want. Which is probably a good thing because there’s a pretty good chance I’m not gonna reinvent myself as someone else. At least not anytime soon.

If you have any thoughts in regards to the battle between good and bad, I’d enjoy hearing them and if you liked this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends. Thank you.

This is a question that I’ve been asking myself from about as far back as I can remember. Well, at least somewhere back around the time I first became interested in girls. Come to think of it, I’ve been interested in girls from as far back as I can remember. Sheesh, that IS a long time.

Hard to believe I’ve been struggling with this question for that long. How will I know when it’s right? How will I ever be able to tell when I’ve met THE ONE? This just has to be one of the most often asked questions, regardless of gender.

I’ll bet even the Cavemen were asking this very question as well. I kinda wonder if they just knew it by the feeling of their hair as they drug them into their caves. I’m not thinkin’ communication was a huge part of a relationship back then.

I can remember my Dad telling me, “Oh, you’ll know when it’s right.” What kind of a lame ass answer is that? That seems to be the default answer that every parent read in “Raising Your Children for DUMMIES.” Haven’t we all heard that standard answer about a million times?

Sure, as kids we fell for it about the first three or four hundred times but after that, we began to question the logic behind such a theory. At that point, we don’t even know how to drive a car yet, how in the hell are we supposed to know if she’s THE ONE? Our one and only, our destiny, our soulmate?

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s a feeling you’ll get inside. You’ll know when it’s right.” Huh? Inside where? Based on that theory, I’ve met the one on more than one occasion. And let me tell you, it’s pretty damn obvious at this point that they weren’t the one. At least not the one I dream about anyway.

And besides, what exactly is this feeling that I’m supposed to be getting? Is it a peaceful, serene, quiet inside type of thing or is it a full on frustrating, raging sexual tension kinda thing? It’s comical how those that say that I’ll know it when I feel it sure as hell are lousy at describing the feeling themselves.

If they found it so easily, and knew they had found it then it seems to me that they should surely be able to describe it just as easily. But all too often that doesn’t seem to be the case. Nope, not at all. In fact, completely the opposite.

Most of those that you ask just seem to begin staring at the floor, shuffling their feet in hopes that it’s all a bad dream and the question will somehow just disappear, back to whence it came. But no such luck. This is a question that demands an answer. An answer to an as yet unsolved mystery.

So as the questionee begins to ponder all of the possible answers they could give in an effort to just get it over with and answer the question at hand, their mind goes into hyper~drive and the smoke starts pouring out of their ears.

Not only do they not have a legitimate answer, now they find themselves swimming in a sea of self doubt, wondering as to whether or not they themselves ended up with their one and only. After all the questions they asked themselves before they ever made their connection, did they make the right choice?

No doubt they were so sure at the time, not a question in their mind but for some strange reason things are no longer so cut ‘n dry for them. So they start mumbling some kinda mumbo jumbo, praying that their phone will magically ring, allowing them to get out of answering the original question.

Noticing the extreme anguish on their face, it’s probably best to just withdraw the question at this point. No need to cause a divorce over a stupid question, right? Well, it’s not that it’s a totally stupid question, just one that isn’t all that easily answered. No matter how easy you might think it is.

Perhaps that’s because it’s more of a feeling rather than a thought, a process of elimination. Assessing all of your feelings, both positive and negative as they pertain to the person you desire to be with. Then coming to a conclusion of sorts, which would make complete sense as I truly believe that the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is a decision that will have to be made by you, not an outsider so to speak. But for some reason that sounds entirely too logical.

While their input and advice can be a welcome thing in this situation, ultimately it’s you that is going to have to decide what’s right for you. Oh, and I guess the person that you’re planning on spending the rest of eternity with should have a bit of a say in this decision as well. I mean, after all it’s only fair.

After all, this is a HUGE decision. For both of you. This pretty much spells the end of the road as it were, the end of the dating road anyway. Which as we all know can be a huge blessing. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, DATING SUCKS!

At least for most people it does. Yes, there are some serial daters out there that have made dating their lifes mission, seemingly never wanting it to end. Kinda like those kids that stay in college for 14 years and never graduate. The real world can be a scary thing, same as a real relationship. So much better to hide in the Land Of No Commitment, the home of zero expectations.

I would have to believe that almost everyone would rather be in a monogamous, committed relationship but find it so much easier to just skate through life, single and scammin’.

Like a rock skipping across a pond. Never really landing anywhere stable, just droppin’ by only long enough to get some traction for another leap towards who knows where, movin’ on to something seemingly bigger and better.

But as we all know, eventually that rock sinks into the muddy, murky depths below, never to be heard from again. And so it is with the dating world. All those years of going from pit stop to pit stop will surely leave you stuck in the pits. Doesn’t sound very appealing to me, that’s for sure.

But the other side to that dreadful race to Nowhereville is the other form of hell, known as settling. Yep, in essence giving up and doing whatever it takes, basically sacrificing your soul to avoid being alone. Surely that’s not the answer. Is it? Please oh please tell me it isn’t.

Damn, I sure hope not because to me, that’s just as miserable, if not more so than being alone. I’m sure we’ve all known plenty of people that although they aren’t physically alone, they are some of the loneliest people on earth. Married, kids, the whole nine yards, yet they are so unhappy and only wish they were single again.

How terrible would that be to know that you’re in a relationship with someone that you aren’t attracted to, have nothing in common with and have zero connection to. Besides a Marriage License of course. Yet, in essence you’re stuck with that person forever. I’ll take being single and alone over that prison any day of the week.

I truly don’t believe that life was meant to be spent alone. Sure, it might appear to be an easier way to live. In theory you can avoid all of the heartache, heart break and disappointment that some relationships tend to entail. But you’ll also miss out on all of the joy, happiness and bliss that comes from finding the one. From spending your life with your true love.

Although I have yet to meet my one and only, I know it’s only a matter of time before I do. And I also know that it will be worth all of the heartache I’ve had to endure along the way. It’s like they say, without the bad, how would we know when things are good? And I have no doubt that’s true.

Of course it totally sucks (ok, MAJORLY totally sucks!) when you’re going through all of those bad times and it’s even worse when some well meaning individual tells you that it just wasn’t meant to be, which at that point is pretty much the last thing you want to hear.

Eventually though, once you scrape up what’s left of your heart off the hot asphalt with a worn out spatula (how’s that for a visual?) and begin to trudge the long and lonely road ahead once again, you come to realize that it never would have worked for the long haul and to continue on would have just been futile.

And for me, it has to be able to stand the test of time. I want a long term, monogamous, commited relationship and I refuse to bring my heart out of hiding for anything less than that. Why risk all that heartbreak on a connection that doesn’t show all the signs of having that possibility? No thank you, not interested.

Problem is, in your mind you were thinking that maybe she could be the one but once you begin to be honest, with yourself and who you truly are on the inside, you have to admit that although you knew it wasn’t totally there for you, perhaps the compromises that you were willing to make just wouldn’t have been worth it in the long run.

I have no doubt that true love does exist and it will require some sacrifices and to some extent you also have to make compromises as well. But that isn’t to say that you must completely compromise who you are, on the inside, for another person.

Once you begin to change who you are as a person and what you truly want in a relationship for the sake of not being alone, that is a sure guarantee that you will never be happy in the end.

With over six billion people on the planet, you’d have to think that there’s someone, a soulmate, a one and only, out there for everyone. The problem is, how on earth do you find your soulmate? Chances are they’re not gonna pull up ridin’ on the Soulmate Train. And if and when you are lucky enough to find your one and only, how will you know for sure that this person is THE ONE? Oh, you’ll just know…..

Have you found yourself wondering when and IF you’ll ever find THE ONE and how you’ll know when you do? I’d appreciate hearing your feelings about your quest for your soulmate and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends. Thank you

How on earth am I supposed to compete? Compete against some kinda Fantasy Frog. I mean, to be honest, it’s just not fair. C’mon, this dude has set the bar so high, I’m not sure anybody can even come close to jumping it, let alone even touching it with their fingertips.

Oh yeah, we’ve all heard of him. Good ol’ P.C., Prince Daddy, the Fantasy Dude formerly known as Prince, The Princemeister, all meant to signify that most mysterious of guys, Prince Charming.

None of us have actually seen this guy in real life but yet he strikes fear in the hearts and minds of men all over the world. Well, at least in the US anyway. I’m not 100% sure they’ve heard of him in other countries but I guess it’s possible. I mean, they could have a Le Prince Charming, an El Prince de Charming, The Prince of Charmingtown, Herr Prinze Charmenggmeister. You get my drift.

From Bouncers to Bounty Hunters, Machinists to Mailmen, Roofers to Restauranteurs, all of them begin to shake inside at the mere mention of his name. Hell, I’ll bet that even Chuck Liddell, if you could get him to admit it, would say that the Prince of Charmingville is competition for him as well.

I mean c’mon, how can this be? How can we as a species be so intimidated by some dude that rides around town on a white horse, wearing tights and a cape?

Batman can get away with a cape. Superman can get away with a cape. These guys are bad asses that make mince meat outta bad guys. But I’m sure you’ll agree that the only guy good ol’ P.C. could actually take down might be Elton John. And that’s still a maybe, no guarantees.

Now he might be able to stomp you with his horse but he better stay on that horse, if he knows what’s good for him because I’d have to think that at this point, there are plenty of guys that would love to take him down.

Tons of guys that were never able to live up to the standards that he set oh so long ago. He didn’t just raise the bar, he set it so flippin’ high that no mere human can even get near it. At least no human that I’ve ever heard of.

Which, when you think about it, is kinda crazy. Nobody really knows much about him, other than the fact that upon being kissed, he turns from some funky frog into a guy that all women fantasize about. Now THAT my friends …. is magic.

Better than any magic that either David Copperfield OR David Blaine could ever dream up. No smoke ‘n’ mirrors here, no way. This Prince is fully legit. Well, at least as legit as a fantasy can be anyway.

I hadn’t even thought about this guy in forever, completely off my radar. That is until I received an email from a friend of mine a short while ago. I hadn’t heard from her in quite some time and I’m not afraid to admit that I almost hit my head on the ceiling, jumping for joy at the sight of her message. To say that I was happy to hear from her is an understatement. I was ecstatic.

As I perused her message (for the 1000th time), two words began to stand out, as if they were seemingly bolded as well as highlighted in yellow and I could feel my heartbeat begin to pick up the pace. I thought it was merely the excitement I was feeling, hearing from her after all that time.

Nope, I began to realize it was much more than that. It was the friggin’ Prince that was makin’ me all nervous. She mentioned that she was still hoping to find her Prince Charming and I gotta admit, I sooo wanted to be THAT guy. But how do I live up to the standards he’s set? I don’t actually have any idea what those standards are but I have a pretty good feeling they’re not easily attainable. At least not in this world anyway.

Kinda makes you wonder if each woman sets her own bar for her Prince? After all, it’s her fantasy, she should be able to create a dream dude of her own making. And if so, how in the hell are you ever gonna figure out who or what she really wants in a guy? Jeez, talk about the Rubics Cube from Unattainableville, no way you’re even gonna come close to solving that riddle. Don’t even bother to try. It ain’t gonna happen.

So I guess when it comes right down to it, even though us guys would love to be able to fulfill all of those fantasies, there’s just no way that’s gonna happen and so all we can really do…. is be ourselves.

`

I know, boring huh? That’s not to say that we can’t entertain her with fantasies of our own making. Hopefully some of them will resonate with her. Who knows, perhaps we might even share some of the same fantasies? How cool would THAT be?

Yet we really have no other option. We’d have to be mind readers to even attempt to come close to figuring out what women want and the split second we look away from our Crystal Ball, you guessed it, they will have changed their minds and it’s time to start guessing all over again. Talk about a no win situation.

All we can do is give kudos to the Prince, the magnificent Prince Charming as he truly is the guy that all of us men wish we were. The guy that every woman wants and waits her entire life to find.

If you can relate to battling against the Prince, I’d enjoy hearing about it in the Comment box below and if you enjoyed this Post, please share it with your friends. Thank you.

We’ve all heard the slogan, “It’s OK To Look” but is it really ok? I mean, once you look, you’re kinda locked in. Not so much by them as by your own undeniable curiousity. Then it’s on! You can’t stop clickin’. Page after page, click after click, maybe the one will be on the next page. Nope. Maybe the next page? And so on and so on.

On and on it goes, searching for your soulmate. Online Dating, blessing or curse? Is it really any easier than the old fashioned way of meeting people? Hmmmm, come to think of it, what exactly is the old fashioned way?

Once you were out of school, it was pretty much a desert out there, hardly an oasis to be found. All of those maybes instantly turned into woulda coulda shouldas. All those missed opportunities, those chances that you should have taken were no longer even an option. Nope, from here on out you were on your own.

Sure, we’ve all heard the stories of people meeting at the Grocery store, the Library, Gas Station, WalMart, all of those flukes that leave us wonderin’ how the hell did that happen and why hasn’t it happened to us?

But come to think of it, for the most part, the people that we see at those places aren’t really people we’d want to meet anyway. Matter of fact, more along the lines of people we’d prefer to avoid. So how is everyone else able to find all of these Golden Nuggets among all of this Fools Gold?

You also hear people say that you should join Groups. Interactive groups of people enjoying like minded activities and when you share a common connection with someone, makes it a whole bunch easier to get a conversation started. Well, you’d like to think so anyway.

But just because somebody likes to play Co~Ed Softball or enjoys Mountain Biking doesn’t necessarily guarantee any kind of a Love Connection. Perhaps a sport like Golf or maybe even Tennis could be a better basis to start off on as they offer a bit more closeness but still no guarantees.

Sure, it could be a good start but beyond a hobby in common, who’s to say there’s gonna be enough to build on. To nurture and grow a relationship that will go on to stand the test of time. But then again, it is a start and for the most part, that could be better than nothin’.

So what do we have left? I guess it’s the good ol’ default of dating, Bars and Night Clubs. Yeah, the basic Meat Markets as they have come to be so affectionately known.

While these can be a gold mine of activity, with lots of dancin’ and liquor flowin’, there still isn’t any guarantee that you’re gonna have any luck there either. No such thing as a sure thing. Talk about a Box of Chocolates, you really never know what you’re gonna catch…..ooops, I mean get.

And if you do happen to win the Lottery and actually meet someone that you make a true connection with and continue to build a relationship with, I would think that you would always have that feeling in the back of your mind that you met each other in a Bar, in essence the home of the One Night Stand, aka The Desperation Station.

I mean, haven’t you noticed how couples that have met in Clubs and Bars and have gone on to get married suddenly start staring at the ground and getting very quiet when asked how they met? Meeting the love of your life at a Bar carries with it a stigma of sorts and not a pretty one at that.

Jeez, we’re really runnin’ out of options here. I mean, we’ve looked into all the old standard choices seemingly built out of desperation, some of the hit ‘n miss, meet by chance options and so pretty much all we’re left with at this point is that other semi frowned upon, stigma filled endeavor known as Online Dating.

Ohhhh, gotta be the scariest of all. Haven’t you heard all of the terrible stories of all the bad people that hang out on the Internet, just waiting to pounce on their latest victims? And this isn’t only reserved for the bad guys out there.

Oh no, there are tons of Black Widows out there, just waiting to grab hold of their toupee wearing victims. Ready to suck everything out of their wallets and leave ‘em by the side of the road, never to fully recover from the incident.

Yet we’ve run out of choices. It’s either we resort to the Internet or we’re destined for a life full of relentless loneliness. Neither really sounds too appealing but at least the Internet offers some form of hope. Being alone forever pretty much has “Your life is totally gonna suck forever” written all over it right from the start.

Now that we’ve resigned ourselves to beginning our Internet search for our soulmate, how do we actually get started? Which Site is best? Which one is more our style? Where exactly is the partner of our dreams hangin’ out? Jeez, I kinda thought all the questions had already been answered but apparently I was wrong.

It seems as if the list of online dating sites is pretty much endless, with new ones added daily. Funny thing is, each of them boast of being the number one dating site online, most members, greatest number of matches, guaranteed connections, etc., etc.

Heck, they even have some that seem more like Porn Sites where you can check out their pics, webcam stuff, all of those things that give you the distinct feeling that your Credit Card is in extreme jeopardy.

Somewhere in the middle is one Site that talks about how short life is (I agree) and you should have an affair (I DISAGREE) before you kick the bucket. How cheesy is that? To promote infidelity as a way of making money just doesn’t sit right with me. I guess I’m strange that way.

It’s gonna be just your luck, you’re married and thinkin’ about cheating on your wife and they’re gonna match you up with a woman that’s married and is thinkin’ about cheating on her husband….and her husband HAPPENS TO BE YOU! That’ll be a reality check that you never expected.

I’d have to think that the two most popular or at least the most well known would be Match.com and eHarmony. Match tells you all the time that it’s ok to look but again, that’s where the trouble starts. On the other hand, eHarmony makes you jump through so many hoops that it makes you really think twice about whether or not you really wanna sign up.

While eHarmony boasts of how they will match your profile on 29 different levels of compatability, from your favorite food to which day of the week would be your favorite for trash day. Only problem is, they forgot to mention the part about how it’s gonna take you about 14 hours straight to complete your profile.

By the time you’re about one quarter of the way through, you’re already questioning yourself as to whether or not this was a good idea. Half way through, you’re REALLY having second thoughts as to whether or not you can continue. Once you reach the three quarter mark, you just want this nightmare over and done so you can start receiving your strategically matched connections.

So at that point you just start clicking buttons at random, just to get it over with. Up to 99 years old? Click! Eight feet tall? Click! Up to 500 pounds? Click! Smokes like a chimney? Click! ANYTHING just to get this over and done!

Finally you get the signal that your eHarmony profile is complete and your first few matches begin to arrive. Hmmm, something seems wrong here. I know I set a 50 mile search radius but for some reason they are sending me profiles of women in Kentucky. KENTUCKY? Last time I looked, Kentucky was just a bit further than 50 miles away from So. Cal.

Gotta be a fluke. Nope, Missouri, Colorado, North Dakota, Maine, pretty much all over the U.S. Oh no, not American Samoa! Jeez, now they’re really reachin’. Maybe it’s a bit more difficult than I thought to find an 8 ft. tall, 98 year old woman that weighs 500 lbs. and smokes like a chimney. Who’d a thunk it?

Perhaps it’s time to give Match a try. Awwwweee, now THIS is more like it. Sure, if you really wanna get serious about it, you can fill out your profile and luckily, it will take you about one quarter of the time that the eHarmony profile did.

If you just want to check out some of the perspective members, you can do that as well. But only to a point. They let you check out a few profiles, just to wet your appetite and then next thing you know, you find your dream connect and you want to contact her. Sorry, no go!

At that point you will have to sign up for a Membership and get serious about your profile. Yep, it’s gonna take some effort from this point, not to mention a Credit Card. Holy commitment! All the questions start flyin’.

Are you really sure you wanna do this? Should you sign up for one, three, maybe even six months? I mean after all, you’ve waited your entire life to find your soulmate, how could you expect to find her in a month. Better do six and hope for the best. Ok, Credit Card accepted and you’re on your way to meeting the woman of your dreams.

Filling in your search parameters is easy, after all you’ve known what you were looking for forever. Ok cool, page one of 5000 matches. Holy smorgasbord, this is gonna be sweet! Hardest part will be deciding who I click with.

As you scroll through page after page, nothing. Nothing seems to resonate with you. So many of the profiles are the same. All of these women have been to every country in the world, six times and yet they’ve also had the same full time job for 20 years. Something just doesn’t add up.

Then it’s picture after picture of either her with another guy, her dog slobbering all over her or worst of all, a friend of hers that’s way hotter than she is. Ladies, if I can make a suggestion here. If you’re promoting pics of you hangin’ all over other guys, you don’t need to be on a dating site. If your dog is your whole world and you can’t go or be anywhere without it, no guy wants to play second fiddle to a dog.

And if all you’re looking for is someone to mow your lawn every Saturday or take your kids to soccer practice so that you don’t miss your nail appointment, perhaps you might want to get your priorities in order. No guy wants to be a last minute add on. Lastly, if you’re gonna show pics of your hot friends, at least put something in your profile about whether or not they’re single and if so, how to contact them. Just sayin’.

As you look closer at some of these pics, you begin to notice that some of them have the dates right on ‘em. Hmmmm, that’s funny. That doesn’t look like a ’10. Looks more like an ’01. As soon as you see that a photo is almost 10 years old, that’s an instant Red Flag! It immediately brings into play all kinds of doubt as to how much of her profile is actually legit. People, current pics are a must.

It’s just like the age thing. You’ll see an age posted at the top but then as you read their profile, they admit to being five years older than their posted age. As if their posted age is the age they wanna be, the age they act or the age, in their mind, they look but to come right out from the start, before you even begin your profile, you’re already fibbin’, that’s not a good sign either.

If you’re gonna be serious about this whole thing and truly want to build a relationship with someone, eventually you’re going to have to meet in real life. So why bother starting out with a lie? You’ll get found out sooner or later and the heartache will be much worse once you have a bit of your heart invested. Why not avoid that nightmare altogether?

Which basically brings us back to square one. How do you actually meet your life partner in todays world. Seems like all avenues have both their good and bad points. None of them are problem free, that’s for sure.

So do we just give up, throw in the towel, just too much friggin’ effort to take a chance on having our hearts broken one more time? Gosh, I hope not. I for one don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. That’s not to say that I want to be locked into a relationship that isn’t beneficial to me, just to avoid being alone. Such a cunundrum.

Well, if you need to get ahold of me, you know where to find me. Yep, I’ll be hangin’ out at the Shoe Store, waitin’ for my Solemate.

If you’re single and can relate to the Dating World, I’d like to hear your thoughts and if you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends. Thank you.

Money Can’t Buy You Love! How many times have we all heard that one? More times than most of us can count, that’s for sure. And while it might not be able to buy true love as it were, it can certainly buy a reasonable facsimile. Is there really any guarantee that love that is purchased is any more or less reliable or dependable than love that supposedly comes from the heart? Not really.

We’ve all been through lousy relationships in our lives. Encounters with people that have told us that they loved us but when the chips were down, they buckled (or we buckled) and poof, relationship over. There were also some connections that were broken along the way and we weren’t even aware that there was a problem.

I’m sure you know what I’m talkin’ about. You’ve got a birthday, an anniversary of some sort comin’ up or maybe just a Holiday. Either way, some type of a special occasion in the very near future. Your mind shifts into overdrive, doing your best to decide on the perfect memory maker of a gift to mark the date.

After all the anticipation, the day finally arrives and you can hardly wait for her (or him) to unwrap their gift. Next thing you know, BLAM! Rather than a huge smile spreading across their face, they decided that this special occasion would be the perfect time for the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech and yes, you’ve just been dumped. So much for everlasting love.

This is the point where you really have to begin to wonder if love that is purchased could possibly be any less worthwhile than love that supposedly comes from the heart. As we all know, feelings as well as emotions have been known to change. And sometimes seemingly at the flip of a switch and most definitely without prior knowledge. Not to blame this solely on women but I believe most would agree that women tend to do most of the relationship ending, the dumping as it were in the game of love. Apparently they are well aware that they hold the keys to the castle.

Perhaps that comes from guys beliefs that things still have the possibility of working out with a little effort and women think that since their fantasy obviously isn’t going to come true, they’re out. Who knows what women are thinking. I don’t even think some of them know what they’re thinking either. Tends to be a knee jerk reaction and then you’re left to deal with it after the fact. But again, that’s from a guys perspective.

Which leads me back to my original thought. With all of the unknowns, the complete uncertainty, not being able to depend on somebody that says they love you to actually love you, why not look at love from a business standpoint? Perhaps love that is purchased just might hold a bit more substance as well as longevity when compared to an emotionally based relationship will. I know that’s breaking with tradition but when the average marriage these days is lucky to make it 5 years, then the system is obviously flawed. Sounds to me as if a business contract might indeed hold more validity than a marriage certificate.

Now, we all know what the oldest job in the world is and that is not at all what I’m referring to here. I’m not talkin’ a bit of afternoon delight at the No Tell Motel, not hardly. To me that isn’t in any way, shape or form a relationship of any sort. Honestly, it’s just plain gross. Yes, I’m a bit old school when it comes to love and relationships. Shocking as it may seem, I need to be both physically as well as emotionally attracted to a woman to have any desire to share my time with her. I know that goes against the grain in todays world of the quickie hookup but nothing I can do about it, it’s just who I am.

I’m thinking more along the lines of being open and honest right off the bat, going into a relationship with everything out in the open. I know that’s already the way it’s supposed to be in theory but there always seem to be so many things that are just unspoken, merely assumed to be a part of the gender roles. Basically that the man has to take the role of the provider. Not trying to sound like Fred Flintstone here. I’m all about an equal partnership, both partners sharing the load. But think about it for a minute. Even if it’s not promoted as being that way, with all of the womens rights changes etc., when you think about it, it’s still that way. That’s not to say that the woman can’t nor isn’t able to go out and make a living for herself. Matter of fact, in my eyes that’s highly recommended as in todays world it takes two paychecks to get by, not one. And yet in essence the woman still has the best of both worlds, enjoying all of her freedom yet still having the guy to fall back on, just in case.

Now, with that being said, to me that pretty much hints at the fact that the guy is (in a roundabout way) paying for love without saying as much. Like it or not, sure appears that way anyway. And if that truly is the case, why not be up front about it right from the start? Is there anything wrong with full disclosure, both people going into a relationship knowing exactly where they stand? Apparently there is because for some reason this subject is taboo. You’re not supposed to associate money and love. But c’mon people, it’s been that way forever and like it or not isn’t likely to change anytime soon.

So when people say you can’t buy love, truly unconditional love, while that is in one way true, on the other hand people do it all the time. Or at least try to anyway. Unfortunately there are no guarantees, neither regarding time or usage offered with your purchase. In essence, it’s just a gamble. Similar to a car purchase. Yes, there is a warranty of sorts with a new car purchase and most nowadays are an average of 5 years. Sound familiar? Unfortuantely there are no guarantees with a relationship. Love is the biggest gamble of all and more likely than not there’s gonna be a huge crash waiting for you right around the corner. Only problem is, you don’t know which corner it’s going to be.

That is when you come to a point that you have to decide as to whether or not it’s even worth it. Knowing full well that you’re pretty much guaranteed to lose with each relationship, after awhile you have to consider both the good and the bad and weigh your options. Sure, when it’s good, it’s great but when it’s bad, it’s REALLY bad. REALLY BAD! The relationship recovery process can take you another five years. Which gives you plenty of time to think about whether or not you even want to risk your heart again. To lay it on the chopping block, only to have it cut in half just one more time.

Perhaps there’s more to life than another failed relationship? How’s that for thinking outside the box? Maybe it will be time to throw yourself into your work, your hobbies, maybe even time to start checkin’ things off of your Bucket List. Anything to take your mind off of all that you feel is missing in your life. Namely, that special someone. Not that there is a total replacement for a great relationship but there are things that can certainly help take the edge off.

Lots of people may look at this as a mid life crisis, a major meltdown or just plain giving up. But it doesn’t have to be any of those things. And besides, who’s to say if or when you can or can’t have a mid life crisis? How can you predict when the middle of your life is? As far as I know, you can’t. And so what’s wrong with buying yourself a present, something you’ve wanted forever? If it makes YOU feel better, who’s to say that it’s a bad thing. And if that something just happens to be a Ferrari, then so be it.

For others to automatically assume that you’re either attempting to relive your youth(which most of us never had a Ferrari when they were younger, so that makes no sense at all), to attract a woman or merely to tout your wealth, all are shallow viewpoints which lend no credit to the person in question. Yet I will admit, if it’s a Corvette then there could very well be an ulterior motive at work here. Just kiddin’. Well, not so much.

Now, I’m not going to argue the fact that filling ones life with other stuff, all in an effort to take ones mind off of what you really want, that being a healthy, meaningful, loving relationship is obviously not the most desirable answer. Heck no. Not even close. We all want and would much rather have love. To give love as well as to be loved. But that’s not the point here. If in fact we did have that dream relationship, we wouldn’t be searching for something else to fill the void, to occupy our thinking. While we still might buy the car, we’d be buying it with our better half in mind, dreaming of all the road trips we’d take together. Yes, together, endlessly laughing, mile after wonderful mile.

Unfortunately, life is reality and reality dictates that we don’t always get what we want. Damn it! Finding that special someone could take a lifetime or longer. And that’s why doing whatever you feel necessary to relieve that pain should be and is, in my opinion, completely acceptable and entirely up to the individual . As they say, whatever turns you on. And if that whatever happens to be a Ferrari 458 Italia, then consider yourself to be extremely lucky. While it won’t replace true love, it will sure as hell help to take your mind off of it for a while.

If you can relate to the relentless search for the one, your one and only, the love of your life and just how difficult that can be to find, I’d enjoy reading your comments below. And if you know anyone that can benefit from reading this post, I’d appreciate it if you would share it with them. Thank you.