Ok Santa, this is pretty much it! The last straw. You and I both know that I’ve truly given it all I have. Nobody could put more positve vibes out there than I have. I’ve been as patient as humanly possible over these last four years, giving you every opportunity to redeem yourself but you have continued to disappoint me in my time of need.

In fact, disappoint isn’t really a strong enough word. These last 3 or 4 Christmas’ have been a huge let down to say the least. Perhaps I’m putting too much pressure on you, expecting you to ‘over deliver’ on your promises.

Now, when I say promises, I guess that’s a bit of an overexaggeration. I’m of course basing everything on what I’ve heard over the years about how much happiness and joy that you’ve brought into the lives of so many others. Is it wrong for me to want that same happiness and joy? Didn’t think so.

Even before we had first officially met, I had already heard so much about you that I couldn’t wait to meet you in person. All the way to the Mall, I was shakin’ with anticipation. I was finally going to meet the Jolly Guy In Red. Good Ol’ Saint Nick. The real Superman, the dude that could haul ass all over the world, stopping at everybodys house (Well, at least all the houses where the ‘good kids’ lived) without waking anybody up and still be back home in time to snuggle with the Mrs. by daybreak. Now that’s what I call a true miracle worker.

“C’mon Mom, just park anywhere. I wanna get inside and meet Santa. Heck, just let me out here, I don’t care, I just gotta get in there to see him.” I mean what’s the chance of Santa showing up at JCPenneys, especially the one right by my house? And he’s here just to see me. How cool is that? I know, right?

That’s why I had to get in there ASAP! I wasn’t gonna miss this opportunity, no way Jose! How long had I been waiting already, like four or five years? Exactly, my entire lifetime so I wasn’t about to wait any longer. Who knew if the Red Rider would ever make it back to my town and I wasn’t about to miss him.

Finally, Mom found a parking spot. At least I think she did. I’m not really too sure because as I recall, I was already outta the car and runnin’ for the big glass doors of JCPenney before she even stopped the car! I’ve been to the Mall enough times (to buy fake Levis) to know exactly where JCPenneys was.

Runnin’ on pure adrenaline, past the Food Court (dang, those Corn Dogs smell good but I CAN’T STOP!), hang a left at the Ice Skating Rink (yes, even in So. Cal. we had Ice Skating Rinks. So. Cal. has it all baby!) and around the corner to Santas House. Ok, maybe that last part was a bit ‘made up’. I mean c’mon, everybody knows Santa doesn’t live at the Mall full time, he lives at the North Pole. He was only doin’ a drive by in Anaheim, just to see ME!

Who could live at the Mall full time anyway? They shut down the Food Court around 9 or 10 at night and so how are you gonna survive without stuff to munch on? Especially Santa because he needs Ice Cream to stay fat and jolly and what a hassle it would have been for him to get Rudolph and the rest of the ‘gang’ all hitched up just to ‘fly’ down to 7/Eleven every time he had the munchies. Exactly, not gonna happen. So he had to live at the North Pole, the home of the built in freezer.

Upon rounding the corner, I could begin to see all of the different colored lights flashing and the multi colored ornaments (no, we didn’t and still don’t call them bobbles. I think only foreigners refer to them that way) everywhere. Woo Hoo, almost there!

What the h. e. double hockey sticks (remember, I was only four or five at the time and wasn’t allowed to, let alone didn’t even know how to cuss yet) is going on here? What is up with all of these people? Yep, the lineup was insane! So many people in line I couldn’t even see Santa from so far back.

But I knew he was there because I could hear his Jolly Ol’ Laugh. Sure enough, there’s no mistaken that laugh. I had watched enough TV by that point in my life that I knew without a doubt that it was him.

Every year they would have ‘special’ Christmas Shows on TV that I looked forward to even more than seeing the Wizard Of Oz. Yep, I’d know that laugh anywhere. Even though, as I would come to learn later on it was Burl Ives’ laugh and not Santas that I recognized so well. For all I know Burl could have been Santa in a previous life.

Ok, so to the back of the line I went. But I’m not gonna lie, I was pissed! From my understanding (based on what my Mom said), Santa was there to see me and ONLY ME! While she might not have said those exact words, no doubt they were implied, whether she meant to or not.

What seemed like hours went by (probably about half an hour but in ’kid time’, that’s like a week!) and I still wasn’t up to the front of the line. But at least by this point I could kinda see Santa sittin’ there and what looked like some stupid girl on his lap. WTF? (oh yeah, no cussin’, sorry). What was SHE doin’ there, that’s my spot. Doesn’t she know that?

Apparently not. I could sorta hear her rattling off her ‘list’ of stuff that she wanted for Christmas. Sheesh girl, give it a rest! If he brings you all that stuff, there won’t be anything left for any of the rest of us. Now I’m kinda beginning to understand where women get this feeling of entitlement (ooops, probably shouldn’t have said that. Of course, I’m just kiddin’. Kinda sorta).

As I begin to tune her out, something else begins to catch my eye. Just off to the side of Santas Sleigh is what appears to be some kinda dog. I can’t really make it out but one thing’s for sure, it’s not moving. Jeez, I hope it’s not dead, I like dogs.

But what’s really weird is that this dog has a red nose. Now, I’m no dog breeder and I’ve seen dogs with wet noses before but never one with a Red nose. Right about then, someone taps me on my shoulder and as I turn around, I realize it’s my Mom. I had forgotten she was even with me. Well, I guess she wasn’t with me until then. I forgot I left her in the parking lot.

So I said “Mom, look at Santas dog, he’s got a red nose.” To which she replied, “No Bryan, that’s Rudolph“. And I was like “WTH (dang, I forgot, I didn’t cuss at all back then), that can’t be Rudolph, he’s way too small….and he’s not moving….I think he’s dead!”

“No Honey (my Mom really loved me), he’s just obeying Santa and being a good Reindeer. Santa told him to mind his manners and he’s being a good boy. Besides, he needs his rest because he has to do alot of flying around the world on Christmas Eve.”

“Well, why doesn’t he just lay down and go to sleep?” “Because Sweetheart (did I mention my Mom loved me?), Reindeer are like horses. They sleep standing up.” And apparently they sleep with their eyes open too because Rudolph wasn’t blinkin’. Not once, I checked. Still not buyin’ it, I decided to just let it go.

As one kid after another told Santa how good they had been all year, basically mumbled their entire wish lists to him, had their pictures taken, it was almost my turn. I couldn’t understand why half the kids were screamin’ and cryin’. Heck, I was all excited to see Santa. Perhaps they were pissed because they were also sold a ‘bill of goods’ about Santa being there just to see them. Parents say the darndest things.

Ok then, finally it was my turn. But something was strange. As I walked up to Santa, he wasn’t anywhere near as fat as I thought he would be. Maybe it’s because the screen on the TV added ten pounds to his belly, not really too sure. And I’m not really sure but his beard seemed kinda fake to. I didn’t pull on it but it sure looked like it was anyway.

But one thing that was for sure, he wasn’t anywhere near as Jolly as I thought he’d be. Nope, in fact as I recall he didn’t seem all that happy to see me. Perhaps he was thirsty and needed some Egg Nog? Maybe I should have brought some for him, just in case? Oh well, live and learn.

So about the time his Helper Elf, who by the way was way taller in person that I thought he/she/it(?) should have been, helped me to get up on Santas lap, I had already begun to read him my List Of Demands even before he began his “Have you been a good boy” schpiel.

Now, when I say read him my List, I don’t mean it literally. Trust me on this one, I didn’t need a cheat sheet of any kind. I had been thinkin’ about my list long enough to have it wayyyy memorized. I knew exactly what I wanted and he was the guy to make it happen!

Next thing you know, I can hear my Mom sayin’ “Smile” and I was instantly ‘blinded by the light’. By the light of the flash on the Polaroid camera. Those cameras rocked! You could instantly (ok, within about 3 minutes which in those days was instantly) see your picture once it came out the other end.

Kinda like an Easy Bake Oven, it was pure magic and nobody really knew how it worked (Well, we do now. It’s cooked by a light bulb but we didn’t know that then, feeling it was better to consider it magic) but to see your picture basically right away was fantastic. So much better than taking your roll of film down to Thriftys Drug Store and waiting days to get your pictures developed. Although, Thriftys did have Triple Scoop Ice Cream Cones for a quarter so that was the bonus of going there.

Once my eyes readjusted (from the blinding of the flash bulb) and I could walk straight again, it was time to head back to the car. So I said goodbye to Santa and to Rudolph (who STILL wasn’t movin’ nor was he blinkin’).

Oh, what a day this was. I finally got to meet Santa in person and even though he was a bit different than I thought he’d be, at least now I know he’s real. And now I know that he knows exactly what I want for Christmas. No way he’s gonna drop the ball THIS time.

I know, he’s been known to ‘mess up’ on the order a couple times in the past, sending me junk like sweaters and socks or even worse, those awful Fruit Cakes but no doubt I set him straight this time and no way he’s gonna screw it up. Even Santa deserves a Second Chance. After all, he’s only human. I think…..

If you can relate to visiting with Santa, I’d enjoy hearing your comments about it below and if you liked this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends. Thank you.

“Hi Grandma, it’s Bryan, I’m calling to wish you a Happy Birthday! Can you believe you’re 94 today?” Oh, how I wish I really could make this call but unfortunatley my Grandma is no longer with us. She passed in February of ’09 and to be honest, I still cry when I think about her being gone.

Oh, I know it’s real and I know she’s gone but she was such a huge part of my childhood, my entire life and she holds a very special place in my heart.

Some of the earliest memories I have are of being at Grandma and Grandpas house for the best Thanksgivings ever. She sure knew how to cook a turkey (way before they ever invented the little Red Popper Upper thingy) that’s for sure but it was the gravy, that chunky (filled with all kinds of innards as I would come to learn later on) gravy that really made the turkey what it was and the Ambrosia (a fancified way of sayin’ Fruit Salad) was just incredible.

No canned Cranberry Sauce for her, no way and it was the same with the Pumpkin Pie, no store bought action there either. The huge table, with it’s antique table cloth, fancy plates and real silverware, was covered in numerous marvelous dishes. So many fixins that basically all you could do is eat two bites of each item and then it was time to hit the couch. You were pretty much done for the day.

And that’s even if you didn’t eat dinner the night before, which I often did to make sure I had room to squeeze in every delectable bite I could of Grandmas Thanksgiving Feast! Then to top it off, we always left with a ton of leftovers so it was a week of turkey sandwiches and fixins, which I enjoyed as much as my Mom did, because she basically got a week off from cooking. No doubt it was a win/win.

We also spent numerous Christmas’ with my Grandparents and the word special is an understatement. Oh how they loved Xmas, and so did me and my sister. Grandmas house for any of the Holidays always spelled FUN!

Another stand out for me were all the trips to Disneyland. I was born in Anaheim and we lived just down the street from D~Land. My Grandma took my sister and I more times than I can even count.

As we got older, we were able to cruise around the entire Magic Kingdom on our own, which was super sweet. Grandma would set a time and we’d meet her back at the Pirates of the Caribbean, Autopia or the Submarine Ride.

I can still remember bein’ around 10 or 11 and I was on the hunt for girls that were without their parents and I actually kinda hooked up (in those days that meant we went through the Haunted House together) with a girl (as I look back, she might have been a Cougar, as I was into older fourteen year old women back then) and I ended up getting back late to meet my Grandma, who was pretty much on fire at that point! I don’t think she swatted me in front of the entire world but I definitely received a stearn lecture of sorts.

She wasn’t afraid to take charge of the situation as she definitely had discipline down to a science but she also had the biggest heart when it came to us kids. Now, keep in mind I might be sayin’ that last part because I was her favorite, I’m not sure.

But then I’ll bet she bought us chocolate covered frozen bananas right after that. That’s the kind of Grandma she was, tough but soft. Hmmmm, I wonder if that’s where my chocolate addiction first took hold?

As we grew up, she continued to be there for us. Although Thanksgivings and Christmas’ weren’t really the same after my parents divorced (when I was 14), I still loved my Grandma as much as ever and cherished the times that I did get to see her.

For those that read my previous post (Life is short, don’t put it off) on her 93rd Birthday, I won’t go into it here but suffice it to say that as time went on, I didn’t put forth the effort that I should have in regards to visiting her. And like a ton of bricks, it came crashing down on me when I found out it was too late. My Grandma was diagnosed with Dementia, early Alzheimers, and spent her last years not knowing who I was.

But I don’t want this post to turn into a tear fest (any more than it already is) and so I want to continue to focus on what a wonderful, caring, giving, loving woman that she was and as far as I’m concerned, the Best Grandma EVER!

Grandma, I miss you more than you’ll ever know….and Happy 94th Birthday!

Love, Bryan

If you’ve experienced a similar situation with any of your family members, if you can relate in any way, I’d love to hear about it in the comment box below and if you enjoyed this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends. Thank you.