I’m not exactly sure what’s goin’ on here. I mean, aren’t these iPhones supposed to have a mind of their own, to be the best thing since sliced bread? Jeez, I can’t even believe I just said that. Sounds like something my Dads Dad would have said. But you get the point.

When I got my iPhone, I was under the impression that they were the most incredible invention ever. They could do just about everything you ever wanted (with the correct Application downloaded, of course) except wash dishes or do laundry.

Seemed as if everywhere you turned, somebody was touting all of the wonderful things that could be accomplished and all of them in the blink of an eye. Clever marketing? I’d hate to think I fell for that stuff but it’s a distinct possibility. Typically I’m smarter than that but maybe they slipped one in under the radar on me.

Don’t get me wrong here. For the most part, I love my iPhone. From the sleek styling to the ultra smooth Touch Screen, this baby has winner written all over it. And I’m by no means a Tech Geek but it would be hard not to want one of these phones, based on looks alone.

In fact, if the Porsche Design Group ever ends up building a Concept Phone, I would think there’s a pretty good chance it’s gonna look very similar to Apples Smooth Talker.

Speaking of Techie, I won’t even begin to claim that I have 1/1000th of an idea of all the things this baby will do. I’ve never even been to the “App Store”, don’t know the address or the phone number. I’m not sure if they have one at the Mall or not but I have enough trouble workin’ the buttons it came with, why the hell would I want to add more gizmos?

I previously had a Nokia that worked really well. Bluetooth capable, nice and compact, never a dropped call, in essence the perfect phone. Then why on earth did I get rid of it you might be asking? Wasn’t cool enough? Behind the times? Nope, none of those.

I never got my iPhone to keep up with the Jones’. I’m not one to care about that sort of thing, which might sound a bit strange at this point because the main reason I bought it was because it was compatible with the ‘Hands Free’ Bluetooth System in the car I had at the time.

My BMW had warnings everywhere, saying that pairing up an unauthorized cell phone to their system could possibly damage the entire electrical system in the car, causing major damage. And knowing that everything in that car was computer controlled, I couldn’t take a chance on hurting my baby. And so I got the iPhone, which was ok’d on their list. In white of course. Hey, I AM color conscious.

As I sunk down in that sweet leather, watchin’ the Nav screen with all of the codes poppin’ up, enter this, press that, I just knew I was gonna be in cell phone heaven. And I wasn’t dissapointed, not in the least. That phone never worked better than when it was hooked up to the BMW. It was like drivin’ around in a giant antennae, reception central.

It was even voice activated. All I had to do was speak the words “Call so and so” and the next thing you know, I could hear a phone ringing somewhere off in space. It wasn’t actually in space, it was coming from my stereo speakers but it did seem like space. Just a touch of a button on the steering wheel and instant disconnect. I must say, it had to be one of the sweetest inventions ever.

I’m not a huge fan of those Star Trek earpieces and I’m semi ok with the headphones but this eliminated the entire nightmare. No worries about Cops giving me tickets, always able to keep both my hands on the wheel. It was a dream come true.

But unfortunately, I no longer have my Dream Car and I’m beginning to wonder if my iPhone knows that as well. They were a pair, those two, they went everywhere together. They were inseparable and I wonder if my phone is really starting to miss her partner. Like they say, one is such a lonely number and I think it’s taking a toll on my “iBaby”.

These tantrums seem to come much more often these days and no doubt with much more severity. I’ll be carrying on a conversation, not really moving at all and next thing you know, I’m talkin’ to air. Yep, another dropped call.

A quick redial leads me to ask “Are you driving?” to which whomever it is that I was speaking with responds, “Nope, didn’t move an inch.” Hmmmm, wonder what happened?

“I’ve got five bars (thanks to my latest update. Only used to get three bars), it can’t be from my side.” Only to hear on the other end “Me too, I’ve got five bars so it’s gotta be your phone!”

OH no you DIT~N’T, don’t you go dissin’ my iBaby!! And then IT’S ON! All the accusations start flyin’, the My Droid is better than your iPhone BS. Next thing you know, you’re havin’ a knock down dragout over a stupid dropped call. Jeez, I’m feelin’ the stress from here and I’m not even on the phone.

What’s even weirder than that is this seems to happen more often when it’s iPhone to iPhone. Call me crazy (I know, what’s new) but I’m beginning to wonder if our old friend Steve Jobs installed some kinda software that links all these iBots together in some way so that they know they’re talkin’ to one of their own and they play these damn games, just to piss us off.

I’m sure you’ve heard how these phones are watching us, keeping track of everything we do and say. So then why not have the phones keep track of each other? And to take it a step further, what if all the Aspirin Companies are in on it as well?

I mean, just think of how much Bayer Aspirin they’re selling to help us get rid of all of these stress headaches that are caused by all of these friggin’ dropped calls. It’s a conspiracy I tell you. It’s Big Brother and he’s attacking us through our phones.

Kinda makes you miss the days of the old rotary dial phones. Back when it would take you so long just to dial the number that you could come up with tons of stuff to talk about while you were waiting for the call to go through. S..E..V..E..N..dut..dut..dut..dut..dut..dut..dut..F..I..V..E..dut..dut..dut..dut..dut..

And hopefully you didn’t have to dial a zero somewhere in there, got a bit sidetracked and didn’t get your finger all the way around. That was major trouble for sure. You totally had to start all over again.

At that point you really had to think twice about even calling that person. Did you REALLY wanna talk to them THAT BAD? Bad enough to risk screwin’ up another dial job?

Those were the days that people knew how important they were to you. If you actually took the time to call somebody, you must have really wanted to talk to them. Jeez, it was nice bein’ wanted but come to think of it, I didn’t really get that many calls. Hmmmmmm…..

Which brings me back to my iPhone. Does it drop all these calls just to piss me off or does IT just want to be wanted? Can’t it feel me massaging it when I rub it’s beautiful screen? Is it lacking attention, feelin’ like I just take it for granted? I sure hope not, that would be terrible.

So perhaps it really does have A.D.D.? Is it possible for a phone to have Attention Deficit Disorder? I know it sounds weird but in this day and age, why not? I mean, when I was growing up, all us kids acted out and did things we weren’t supposed to. Seems like we were always doin’ something wrong just to get attention. Attention of ANY kind.

But back then instead of giving us pills to put us in Numbville, we’d get our butts spanked, have to pull tons of weeds in the yard and be grounded all summer. Ah, those were the days.

The days of discipline, when you learned the difference between right and wrong, by the seat of your pants. Or sometimes on the back of your thighs, perhaps your lower back, all depends on where the belt landed.

Never thought I’d look back on discipline as a good thing but I have to think that like kids, our phones need to know when they are actin’ up and doin’ wrong. But how exactly do you go about teaching your phone the difference between right and wrong?

Do you stop using it for awhile? Who is that really punishing, you or the phone? Perhaps throw it on the ground, breaking the screen? Again, who really loses here? Sure, the phone doesn’t have to work so hard anymore but your wallet is sure gonna get a workout. Maybe just take the whole damn thing apart and never use it again? I really don’t know the answer.

I guess we just have to accept the fact that technology still has it’s flaws and that nothing is perfect, especially when any part of it is man made. But between you and me, I still think my iPhone just ain’t that smart!

If you can relate to your iPhone or any cell phone for that matter, not living up to the hype, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you know of anyone else than can relate to this post, I’d appreciate your sharing it. Thank you.

FINALLY! And I gotta say, it’s about time. I was beginning to wonder if it would EVER happen again but fortunately for me, it did. After all the time I spent searching for it, I finally found that ‘spark’ again, that elusive ‘trigger’ that would reignite the fire within me. The ‘fuel’ necessary to keep the dream alive, allowing me to remain focused on achieving my goals. I found my WHY.

Yes, my WHY. Now, while that might sound crazy to some, I’m sure others can most definitely relate. We all need a reason. A reason to get out of bed in the morning, to go to work each day, to continue to struggle through the most difficult of times. A reason to persevere, to challenge anything and everything put in our paths, attempting to keep us from accomplishing our goals. Our reason why.

I don’t believe it is something that can be ‘manufactured’, it has to come from deep within us. A place that even we can’t manipulate. It has to be part of our heart, our soul, our true inner being. An invisible force propelling us forward, pushing us to break down any walls standing in our way.

It could be as simple as Fear. Fear of failure, a fear of commitment, even a fear of actually achieving your goal and wondering what lies ahead after that, whatever your fears may be, it takes a serious and dedicated commitment to conquer your fears and to remain focused on your goals.

Passion is also a huge part of the equation, an excellent reason why. When you’re passionate about something, don’t you feel as if you will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to make it happen? I know I sure do. If I’m passionate about it, I go at it full bore where as if I’m kinda ‘on the fence’ about it, I do what it takes to get it done but for the most part, not much more than that. Without passion, our ‘why’ doesn’t really stand a chance of survival.

That’s not to say that I won’t do a good job because I will. I don’t know the meaning of ‘half ass’, it’s not in my vocabulary. It’s not my nature to only do what’s necessary to ‘get by’. But with that being said, I also know that if I’m following my dreams, chasing something that I’m passionate about, then I go at it with a much stronger effort, giving it 150% of my time and effort until I’ve knocked it out of the ballpark. With passion comes a constant reminder of why.

I’m willing to bet that this is the same for most people. Of course there are those that are basically just ‘time milkers’ and they prefer to live their lives just getting by. Where good enough is good enough, why do anything ‘extra’? That is SO not me, not my way of thinking at all. I feel that true effort should have its own rewards. The more effort you put in to something, the more you get in return.

Doesn’t have to be a tangible ‘thing’, just a good feeling inside from a job well done. Or even knowing that you have helped someone else, that too can give you a feeling of satisfaction, another good reason ‘why’ that a job done ‘half way’ could never hope to provide.

So how do we go about discovering what truly motivates us, what it is that drives us to go above and beyond the call of duty, to do whatever it takes to accomplish our goals? A reason why? I feel that’s a very ‘individualistic’ thing and only we ourselves will know where our motivation lies.

For some of us, it’s family. Knowing that we have loved ones that need our love and support will give us the ‘never give up’ attitude that is critical to make it in todays world. For others, it could be personal growth that fuels our fire. And still for some, it might be as simple as money. Not to say that obtaining money is simple, it’s just that if you can narrow it down to a basic driving force, it will really help you to remain focused.

In fact, if your goal is to make a ton of money, it might help to have a good idea of exactly what it is that you’ll do with all your money once you have it. Why are you going to make all this money anyway? To provide for your family, friends, a new home, a car, a boat, something to that effect. Narrowing down your focus will help you to remain on the straight and narrow. Surely there will be bumps in the road, you can bet on it and you’ll want to continue moving forward despite the obstacles you’re likely to experience.

This is where I’ve been struggling so much over the last couple years. As I have continued to fall from the tallest sky scraper around, losing everything I ever owned [and more], not only have I lost all my ‘stuff’ but I’ve also lost all of my desire. My motivation, my passion, my reason for living, all of these driving forces have pretty much been erased from my memory and replaced by a ton of woulda coulda shouldas, all surrounded by lots of negativity. Most definitely not the best set of circumstances for a person attempting to ‘restart’ their life, that’s for sure.

And to be honest, it’s been a bit nerve racking to say the least. Losing your MOJO is very daunting. It’s not like you can go to the ‘MOJO Store’ and pick up a twelve pack of MOJO Juice and suddenly find all of your inspiration again. As I’ve come to learn, motivation doesn’t come in a bottle or a can. Dang it, sure wish it did. Things would be so much easier.

How does that saying go again? Inspiration, combined with Perspiration equals Motivation? Something like that. Anyway, I’m sure you get the point. It requires some form of action but action alone is not enough to keep you on the right track, to remain disciplined enough to keep going.

You have to have passion and that’s the part that scared me the most. I’d lost my passion and I had no idea how or IF I was ever gonna find it again. While I still had some of the same likes and dislikes, none of them seemed to hold enough ooomph for me to chase after them. As I mentioned earlier, I had pretty much gotten to the point that I didn’t really care whether or not I even got out of bed. EVER.

Heck, why would I? Nothing much going on, might as well lay here all day. Even the fact that I was more than likely gonna be livin’ in the back of my Honda Pilot [at least until they repo'd that as well] in the near future didn’t seem to be enough of a ‘spark’ to get me going. I don’t like to talk or think about giving up but to be honest, I came very close a few times to just sayin’ forget it and packin’ it in.

I started to envision myself as one of those guys standing on the freeway offramp, cardboard sign in hand. I’ve heard those guys make pretty good money so it wasn’t like I was TOTALLY giving up on everything, just 94% of me was throwin’ in the towel.

If it wasn’t for my dear friend Annabelle, I probably would have already given up but she wouldn’t let me. She always had such a way of putting things into perspective, showing me what was truly important and what was BS. I miss her more than words can even describe, she meant more to me than I could ever tell her. I wish she was here now so I could let her know that I think I finally found it. I finally found my why.

Sure, some people might consider me to be extremely superficial, saying that I’m out to impress other people, worried about keeping up with the Jones’ or even worse, attempting to cure a midlife crisis. All of these couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m in search of whatever it is that will make me happy again. That ‘something’ that will give me the answer to my why.

And to those that say “It’s just a car”, that would be like me saying “It’s just a family.” I’m not here to tell you your WHY is or isn’t any less important than mine is, it’s just different but as long as you find one, that’s all that matters.

I have to admit that finding true love WAS my main driving force in life. I quit drinking about four years ago in an effort to find the love of my life but that has turned out to be a complete disaster and so at this point I have more or less come to the conclusion that I am meant to be alone forever and like it or not, I better just get used to it. Not that I’m ‘giving up’, more like I’m ‘giving in’. Sometimes you have to know when to let it go.

After losing my Condo, along with another couple properties, I’m in no hurry to have another mortgage to deal with so even if I could afford it, I highly doubt I’d buy any property again. I wouldn’t mind having a rental property or two but besides that, no ‘mortgage stress’ is just fine with me.

So what’s left? What is it gonna take to get me fired up and motivated again. Travel? Another big dream I have is to travel the world, to explore the U.K., Europe, Australia, every exotic beach on the map. But is that enough of a driving force? Traveling alone isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and so that dream has lost a bit of its sparkle. Not that I don’t want to see the world, it’s just that it’s not as high on my list as it once was.

Jeez, no wonder I’ve been having so much trouble getting stoked on life again, my list is just about empty. It’s all starting to make sense to me now. If I was reading this Post about somebody elses life, I’d say they had every right to just pack it in and start looking for a spot on the sidewalk to set up their ‘Cardboard Condo’.

Unfortunately, this is MY story and so I have to deal with it. No other option. After whittling down my list of reasons to move forward, searching for my why, knowing full well that there are only a few other things in life that I’m passionate about, it’s come down to getting the car of my dreams.

Yep, a car. Now, I know most of you are saying “What is he thinkin’, a car? What kind of motivation is that?” I know, anybody can buy a car, no big deal. Well, I’ve been a ‘car guy’ forever, way before I even had a Drivers License. From day one I’ve loved foreign cars. BMWs and Porsches were my ‘thing’. Someday, someday, I continually told myself throughout the years but it wasn’t until about two years ago that the ‘dream’ finally came true. Better late than never I always say.

But along with everything else I lost, no doubt that losing my BMW hurt me the most. Property is one thing, losing ‘my dream’ was another thing entirely. Had to jump through some major hoops to get it and to see it leave, without me behind the wheel is something that I doubt I will ever forget. At least not any time soon.

Along with the ‘car’, I lost what little bit remained of my desire. My desire to succeed. After all, my dreams came to an end. What am I supposed to do after that, invent a ‘new’ dream? As I would come to learn, that wouldn’t exactly be too easy. How do you replace a dream you’ve had for almost your entire life? Especially one that manifested itself into fifty times better than anything I could have ever hoped it would be.

But replace it I must. Otherwise I’m destined for a life of zero. A life of nothing. Which really isn’t my style at all. I’m not here to merely survive, I’d much rather strive to thrive. To do my best despite my surroundings. All I need is a reason, a reason why.

I’ve always been into Antiques and Collectibles, I love things that are old, untouched and original. The number one rule in the Collectible World is “Rare is where it’s at” and I feel that way about most everything. If it’s very limited production, the only one in existence, that type of thing, then I get super excited about it.

So last Saturday I decided to pay a visit to the “Dream Store”, otherwise known as the Porsche Dealership. I’ll be the first to say that I HATE going to Car Dealerships of any kind. Just as soon as you set foot on the Lot, they are on you, wanting you to sign your life away on the dotted line. Although I have to admit it’s much better nowadays, with all the info available on the Internet they know that buyers are not the ‘sitting ducks’ they once were and the Salesmen [and Saleswomen] can’t really shoot fish in a barrel any more.

As I walked over to the new Panamera, anxious to see one in ‘real life’, I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it was. While Porsche is known world wide for their World Class Craftsmanship, it’s taken me some time to get used to a four door 911 Porsche but I won’t hesitate to say it was damn nice. The interior was absolutely stunning and if I had a spare $150K and I was in the market for a four door sports car, I wouldn’t hesitate to look closer at one.

“Can I help you?” Uh oh, here comes the Sales guy and he’s looking at me like a sitting duck! “Oh, that’s ok. I just wanted to check the Panamera out for myself. I’ve read so much about them, I wanted to see one in real life.”

We talked for a bit and I found out that this Sales guy was actually pretty cool. Not your typical Dealer Dude, that’s for sure. No high pressure BS, just good info in a relaxed conversation. And as we got to talking, I asked the question that I had really come there to ask in the first place. The MAIN reason for my visit. Have to admit I was surprised by his answer. Very surprised.

“Do you plan on getting a 2010 GT3RS in any time soon?” There, I said it. The only car on my mind for the last couple years, if not longer and to see one ‘in the flesh’ would be a dream come true. Just like the 2007′s & ’08′s, of which there were only a total of 200 produced for the North American Market [including the fifteen that went to Canada], the 2010 GT3RS is limited to three per Dealership. They just started arriving in this country about two weeks ago and I’ve only heard about one up to this point, at a Dealership in Northern Calif. and they wanted $40K over sticker price. That’s one hell of a mark~up in my book.

As it turned out, the guy that bought the RS got it for $20K over Sticker because he had just spent $150K two weeks before on a new Panamera. I won’t go into the fact that he drove the RS off the showroom floor and immediately to a local ‘Go Fast Shop’ to have some modifications done to it. Not sure I’d have the guts to modify one of the most incredible cars in the world, especially when it’s BRAND NEW! Just above is a picture of Fred as he drove his new GT3RS off the Showroom floor and just below that is his car after the changes. Painted the wheels and trim pieces black, changed the stickers, modified the exhaust system among many other changes. Must be nice to have money like that.

To which the Salesman replied, “We just sold a new 2010 GT3RS earlier in the week. The buyer used his Orange 2008 GT3RS as a ‘trade in’. It’s sitting on the Showroom Floor if you want to take a look at it.” “IF I WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT IT?” I did my best not to RUN inside but I’d have to think he had a pretty good idea that I was interested in seeing it. You just don’t find these sitting on the Showroom Floor of your local Dealership. Most were purchased by Collectors and rarely for sale.

As I got closer to the large glass doors, I could see the orange reflection bouncing off of the other ten Porsches on the floor along with every other reflective surface near by. And then, there IT was. The Magic Pumpkin. I’m not a diehard fan of Orange but knowing full well that even when you’re rich, you don’t have a whole lot of choices when it comes to color, I’d be more than ecstatic to own this dream machine.

They were available in Orange, a unique shade of Green, an exotic looking Black and a light Silver. A very rare few were ‘special ordered’ in White and of course, with White being my favorite color for a car, if I could have my choice, I’d pick White for sure. And with the Ceramic Brakes and Yellow calipers, you’d have one of the rarest RS’s out there. Now THAT’S what I would call a dream come true.

Once I managed to roll my tongue up off the floor and back into my mouth, which enabled me to speak again, I asked a few more questions which lead to “Mind if I sit in it?” Fortunately for me he replied with an “Of course not, go ahead.” And with that, I adjusted the seat to my liking and made myself comfy. With the closing of the door, I knew I was home.

Alcantara Heaven, this leather filled dream machine sucked me in and I never wanted to leave. With only nine thousand miles, this baby is like brand new. And as hard as it was to believe, it looked like it was taken care of by someone that was as ‘detail crazy’ as I am, which was just icing on the cake.

Turns out it was owned by a guy that races RS Porsches just like it, professionally. Jeez, I guess when you drive one on the weekends, you need one for the weekdays. Sounds like one hell of a plan.

“Want me to take your picture?” “Heck Yeah!” So I hand him my iPhone and mumble a few instuctions. That was about the best I could do at that point considering how dizzy I was and all. After the ‘photoshoot’, I continued to stare at everything I could inside the car, wanting to absorb every little bit of the experience.

Right down to the deviating color of the stitching on the leather on the dash, seats, pretty much everywhere, this baby was full of options. Even had the original window sticker laying on the dash and as I glanced at it, trying to add it all up in my head as fast as I could, I realized the guy paid at least $150K for it back in ’08. Now THAT’S alot of money in anybodys book.

As I came back to reality, I reluctantly opened the door, proceeded to say goodbye to my ‘leather cocoon’ [for now] and stepped out of the car. I continued to take some pics of the outside of the car. While not wanting to look like a total dreamer, I knew this was a special occasion and wanted to take in as much of it as I could.

It’s priced right in line with the few others that are currently available throughout the Country at $125K, which might seem like a lot of money but considering that the 2010 GT3RS cost this guy right about $200K by the time he left the Dealership, $125K doesn’t look so bad!

I said my goodbyes and a big thank you for the experience. Again, not wanting to look like a ‘poser’ I did my best to contain myself but no doubt I left there a changed person. Changed for the better. I finally found my WHY and I couldn’t have been happier. Well, that’s not exactly true. I would have been MUCH happier had I been driving it off the showroom floor.

All the way home, I found myself going over all kinds of scenarios in my head. Different ways that I could some way come up with the money to make this happen. Yeah, it’s gonna take some time and a bunch of hard work but it IS possible. Anything’s possible! Why is it that the things that turn me on are always so damn expensive? Just my luck I guess. I don’t like them because they cost a lot of money, I like them because I like them. Period. It’s not MY fault they cost a flippin’ fortune!

To be honest, I really don’t care what it costs. I’m just so grateful to have finally found a reason to get out of bed in the morning, to work hard, to strive to thrive. To me, it’s priceless. This won’t completely erase the fact that I won’t have a woman to cruise around in it with me BUT I have a strong feeling I’ll be having such a good time that I probably won’t even notice I’m alone.

And if you happen to see a White GT3RS with the Vanity Plate “MY~WHY”, go ahead and wave. Chances are I’ll pull over and give you a ride. Who knows, you just might find YOUR WHY while we’re haulin’ a$$ around town!