Yesterday was one of those days. Yep, one of THOSE days. I’m sure you know what type of day I’m referring to here. The kind where just as soon as you wake up, you realize immediately that something is wrong. That you’re in some kinda funk. You know that something is wrong, you just don’t know what that something is.

Hmmmmmmmm…….. now what could be wrong? It could be something as simple as waking up on the wrong side of the bed but to be honest, I’m not really sure what side of the bed is the wrong side so although that still remains a distinct possibility, I’ll have to leave that in the not highly likely category.

So then, what could it possibly be that’s bothering me? The more I think about it, it’s not so much one thing as it is a combo of many things. Seems to me that it started the day before and basically carried over into yesterday. Kinda like leftovers, sitting on the counter unattended, being allowed to fester and ooze themselves into the following day.

As far as the calendar is concerned, the day before yesterday was actually a huge day for me. A major milestone as it were, a day worthy of celebrating. Well, at least it should have been. But it just never felt that special, at least not deserving of a celebration of any kind. Actually it felt completely opposite of what I would have thought. Extremely hollow and uneventful to say the least.

How is that even possible? I just survived five years of total sobriety, something I never ever imagined was anywhere near possible. And yet, there I sat feeling more empty and alone as opposed to happy or excited which is what one would think I should have been feeling. But at the end of the day I still had to take solace in knowing that I had indeed accomplished something that many wish they could achieve but as of yet have been unsuccessful in doing so.

Then why is it that after ending the previous day on a rather positive note, yesterday started off on such a blah note, heading south towards Downerville from there? Was it the letdown of expecting too much(and not getting it) from the previous day carrying over to the next?

After mulling all that over for a bit longer, I found that I could only come to one conclusion. Nothing had really changed per se between the time I went to sleep the night before and when I woke up the next morning. Perhaps a dream or two, maybe (definitely) some snoring as well but shouldn’t have been any mood altering goin’ on. So why then so doomy and gloomy?

That’s when it dawned on me, the only reason I was a bit down was because I chose to be. Or should I say there was a lack of making the choice NOT to be grumpy and down. Yep, just as simple as that. I don’t mean to say that I chose to be grumpy on purpose. It’s more of an issue of not purposely choosing to be happy. To be grateful, to start my day with an attitude of gratitude. While that sounds simple, it’s not always that easy to remember. Yes, it’s a conscious decision, a decision that needs to be made each and every day. And sometimes more than once per day.

Now how does one remember to start each day with a grateful attitude, being happy for what you have as opposed to what you don’t? That right there is the tough part. Obviously it’s not that easy, otherwise everybody would do it and all it takes is a quick glance at the world around us to realize that most people aren’t practicing this in the slightest.

Apparently we must train ourselves to do this until it becomes habit. To think that we would automatically be in the correct state of mind at all times is a bit too much to expect. In my opinion anyway. And this is obviously something that I need to condition myself to be aware of. Knowing when I’m not in the zone as well as knowing just what to do to get back there.

So if you happen to find yourself in a funk or sorts, just feelin’ a bit outta whack, take a look around you and make a quick inventory of all you have to be grateful for. All of the things we tend to take for granted, never really appreciating them as we should and I’d be willing to bet that you’ll discover quite a few things that you never even thought about. In fact, why not write some of them down? Might help you to get back to an attitude of gratitude that much quicker the next time you find yourself feelin’ all funkified.

If you can relate to feeling that unexplainable sense of being down without a reason, sort of not quite right but with no apparent explanation as well as a possible solution for how you get yourself back on track, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends. Thank you.