Random Ramblings Of A BlogAholic » Dreams

DREAMIN’ REALLY BIG ~ Three GT3RS’s In One Day!

Bryan — Tue, 11 May 2010 00:14:10 +0000

If you read my recent post about my trip to the Dream Store, aka the Porsche Dealership, then that will give you a better idea of where this post begins. If you haven’t read it, basically it’s about finding a reason in life to get and to stay motivated. Motivated enough to remain focused on following your dreams, your passions in order to achieve your goals. All in search of my WHY.

And for me, my motivation is money. Yep, good ol’ cash. Lots of dinero, so I can buy a car. I know, I know, very shallow but yes, I find my spine tingles the most when I’m behind the wheel of an extremely nice German Supercar. That’s what floats my boat. I’m not gonna make excuses for it, that’s just the way it is.

I’ve known this forever and I’ve also felt a bit guilty about it for just about the same amount of time. I mean, shouldn’t there be more to life? All the thoughts of being superficial and merely out to prove something to someone else have lead me to feel guilty for getting my motivation from such a thing as a car.

The only other ‘thing’ that even comes close for me is women and to be honest, if I have to ‘buy one’, then that’s not the one I want anyway. I want a woman to love me for me, not for what I can give her and since that’s nearly impossible to find in todays world, I need to remain focused on the only other thing that gives me the ‘warm ‘n’ fuzzies’, a sweet a$$ German Supercar!

As I mentioned in Part One, I had gone to the Dream Store a few weeks ago to ask about the new 2010 Porsche GT3RS. They were just starting to arrive in the US and I wanted to see one in real life. Not that I could afford one [YET!] but I wanted to see what’s been labeled as the best ‘Drivers Car’ in the world!

I’m already so enthralled with the 2007~’08 GT3RS that as hard to imagine as it is that the new version could be any better, with the larger 3.8 Liter engine, suspension changes, Center Lock wheels and all the other ‘goodies’ that have been updated, there was just no way I was going to miss the arrival of my new dream machine.

I put a call in to the Dealership last Tuesday, inquiring as to whether or not my baby had arrived yet, knowing that during my previous visit the Sales guy told me the new one should be in in just a few weeks. It takes approximately 25 to 30 days for the Ship to bring them over from Stuttgart, which seemed like quite a long time to me but he assured me that was normal.

Actually the Factory is located just a bit North, in Zuffenhausen, Germany but either way, still seems like a long trip. I guess when you’re anxiously awaiting the arrival of anything, every minute is a minute too long.

In my mind I thought about a Cruise Ship and I couldn’t believe it would take a month for that to get here from Germany, with no layovers in between but I guess it is what it is. So with a couple quick calculations, he ‘guesstimated’ that it should arrive by the end of the week. “Call me Friday around noon and I’ll give you a status update.” No need to mark it on my calendar, the time and date were instantly on the top of my list.

It’s not like I was counting the hours until noon Friday or anything but let’s just say that when the phone rang Friday morning around 10:00 I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. “Bryan, the White GT3RS arrived this morning. They have to do the PDI [Pre Delivery inspection] on it, detail it and then move it to the Showroom. Should be on the Showroom floor about Noon.”

Even though I couldn’t believe they would have all that done that quickly, I thought that maybe they had already started on it and that’s how he came up with such an early time. I decided I’d go ahead and wait until it was all cleaned up and looking it’s best before I arrived so I planned on getting there about 1:00. Don’t wanna add any pressure, right?

On the way over there, I just kept thinking about how bitchin’ this whole ‘adventure’ was gonna be. Knowing that there were very few of these in the US at this point just made it all the sweeter. The fact that it costs about $200K out the door made it even more of a dream trip.

Yeah, I gotta agree, that IS alot of money but when you break it down, a thousand dollars isn’t a totally outrageous amount. Not these days anyway. And so you multiply that thousand by two hundred and that’s it. Next thing you know, it’s Heaven on earth. Not bad at all. Well, I guess it’s all in how you look at it. That’s how I choose to look at it anyway.

Luckily for me, as it turned out they were a bit behind schedule. As I pulled up to the driveway of the Dealership, what’s the first thing that greets me? It’s a Tech driving the new GT3RS, waiting to pull out into the street for a test drive. Wish I could have gotten my camera out in time but I was trying to concentrate on getting in the parking lot at the time.

Part of the PDI requires the Tech to ‘take it out’ and check things over. Gotta make sure everything is in working order. Even though it was completely checked over before it ever left the Factory, gotta go over it with a fine tooth comb just to ensure nothing happened to my baby during the ‘Ship Trip’.

Porsche is known world wide for their attention to detail. Nothing gets past them. They are rated number one in the world when it comes to having the least amount of problems, which is really amazing when you think about the actual size of the Company. One thing’s for sure, they ain’t Toyotas!

They have more of a ‘hands on’ feel than the big US Auto Makers and perhaps that is what’s lead to their success. That, and their racing heritage. Everything they produce is tested on the Track way before it ever reaches the Showroom floor. Yes, they are expensive but again, you get what you pay for.

Rarely, if ever, will you hear anyone mention the high price of a Porsche [except for the GT2 which could run over $300K and for that price, you're in Ferrari & Lamborghini territory] in regards to what you get for your money. You truly get what you pay for in a Porsche.

So I park my car, grab my Flip Camera and jump out hoping to catch a glimpse of MY DREAM pulling back in to the Lot. At this point I wasn’t sure how far along they were with the PDI and detailing. All I knew was that I wanted to soak up as much as I could.

Standing on the sidewalk, I could hear something approaching that sounded absolutely incredible. Looking to my left, there it was. Caught just a bit of it as it pulled in the driveway. Then I more or less ran through the Lot, following the Tech back to the Service Bays.

Turns out they still had to finish up the PDI. Took all I had to ask but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. “Is it ok with you guys if I go inside and take a closer look?” To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what they replied as I didn’t really hang around long enough to hear the answer. I immediately flew inside, Flip Cam rollin’, doin’ my best to get as much Video in as I could. After all, I had no idea when they were gonna kick me out.

Just the way it was idling, you could tell it’s definitely a beast. When you put 450 Horsepower in a car that weighs very little and handles so well, you can’t help but end up with major amounts of fun. And that is certainly the case here. From inside to outside, everywhere you look is just another engineering marvel to gawk at.

No doubt I found myself wanting for a ‘scratch & sniff’ button on my camera, in hopes of capturing the amazing aroma permiating from the Leather and Alcantara Suede ‘cocoon’ known as the interior. Just exquisite. Even the exhaust fumes smelled like a million bucks! It didn’t take me five minutes to know that two hundred thousand dollars is a bargain for this car.

As they wrapped up the Inspection, I knew it was now or never. “Mind if I sit in it for a second?” “Sure, no problem.” Did I mention these guys at the Dealership were nothing but cool to me? Definitely unlike any other experience I’ve ever had at a Car Dealership. No ‘Used Car Vultures’ here, just a bunch of relaxed, easy going and helpful guys. From the Techs to the Sales Manager, all of them First Class. No doubt I’d highly recommend this Dealership to anyone.

Doing my best not to get drool all over the interior, the Tech gets in, saying “I’m gonna pull it around to the front.” Normally, I would have totally blown it and said “Oh, ok, I’ll go ahead and get out” but not this time. Oh no. If they wanted me out, they were gonna have to drag me out of there, kickin’ and screamin’!

Just as soon as he started it, the ‘tingles’ hit me and flooded my spine with the warm ‘n’ fuzzies. While it might have only taken two minutes to get to the front of the Lot, it was the best ‘trip’ of my life. I tried to keep the camera going but I found it difficult to focus on the filming and so in the video, you’ll see quite a bit of the dashboard. No doubt I lost my focus.

And while I would have loved to have gone for a quick cruise to LA, I’ve been informed that you have to sign away your life in order to go for a test drive and so that just wasn’t gonna happen. Oh well, that’s life. It had to end sometime and so with that, I reluctantly got out.

I walked around the car a bit more, trying to soak up all I could while at the same time not wanting to wear out my welcome. Which after being there filming for nearly an hour, I’m pretty sure I was coming close to doing exactly that.

As I walked inside the Showroom, hoping to get a glimpse of the ‘Magic Pumpkin’, the Orange 2008 GT3RS that was traded in on the new Gray GT3RS a few weeks ago, my head continued to spin. Is the New GT3RS really that much better than the ‘old’ one? Larger engine, RSR Race Suspension, Center Lock Wheels, etc., etc. I guess when it comes right down to it, yes it is a better car.

Does that in any way mean that the previous version is any less incredible? By no means. It merely means that just when you think they have reached perfection, perfection can still be improved upon. Which is exactly what they’ve done here. Hard as it is to believe, that’s what happened.

This doesn’t in any way diminish my dreams of having an ’07 ~ ’08 version. I would give anything to have one. Is the new one worth an extra $75K compared to the old one? Absolutely it is. Both are extremely low production, Collector status, High Performance German Supercars but if I had the $200K I would buy a new one in a heartbeat.

When they are being described by all of the ‘in the know’ testers as the Best ‘Drivers Car’ in the world [meaning a car without alot of electronic gadgetry that in essence eliminates feel] it’s difficult NOT to want a new one. Not to say that I wouldn’t be extremely happy with an old one, that’s for sure. I guess we’ll just have to see how it all plays out.

At least I can walk away from this experience knowing that I have all kinds of extra fuel for my motivational fire. Matter of fact, as I was walking to my car, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I’d pretty much know that color anywhere, being as rare as it is.

Sure enough, there’s a Green ’08 GT3RS parked in the Lot. They produced a combined 200 of the GT3RS’s for the North American market during the combined ’07 ~ ’08 Model year and to see two of these at the same Dealership is just insane. I have no idea what the odds are but they have to be very high, that’s for sure.

Getting back inside my car [which I gotta admit seemed pretty damn frumpy at this point], I began to go over all the ways I could make enough money to buy one of these babies. I KNOW there has to be a way. Other people buy them, why not me? If you’re gonna dream, might as well DREAM REALLY BIG!!!

Deep Down I’m Still A ToysRus Kid!

Bryan — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:01:32 +0000

Grow Up? Who, Me?? Not likely. At least not anytime soon. Sorry to say but growing up is right up there with getting old and neither one are in my immediate future. At least not if I can help it anyway.

Recently I was over at a buddy of mines house, a friend I haven’t seen in about three years. We were hangin’ out, BS’n about BS. You know, the usual. Inside the garage sat his recently purchased Harley Davidson, a bike he had wanted for quite some time. Needless to say I was super happy for him.

It’s a sweet bike with all the accessories anybody could want. As I looked it over, one thing that really grabbed my attention was the license plate frame. I’ve been into Cars and Motorcycles of all types from as far back as I can remember so no doubt I could easily appreciate a bike as nice as this one. But for some reason it was the license plate frame that stood out the most.

At first it didn’t strike me as all that odd. After all, during the last few years I’d seen this ‘saying’ plastered all over. Whether it be T~Shirts, Coffee Mugs, Window Stickers and yes, License Plate Frames, I’ve seen it everywhere. I’m sure most of you have as well.

As I mentioned, I’ve been involved with antique and collectible cars for quite awhile, mainly Woodies and you see tons of this stuff at all of the Woodie Events. The Woodie crowd spans quite a few generations, so no big surprises there. Never thought too much about it, one way or another.

Although as far as I’m concerned, I never really felt like I could relate to it. While I was fully aware of what it meant, I just never felt that it applied to me whatsoever. At least not in the same way that many others seem to be able to relate. Definitely not on my ‘wavelength’, that’s for sure.

Not to sound too harsh but it’s great for the ‘older’ crowd but surely no one from ‘MY’ generation would nor in my opinion should ever be caught displaying anything of this sort on their Woodie, let alone on their body or anywhere else. It’s an ego booster of sorts for the older folks but not anybody my age.

Yet here I was, standing ten feet from my buddies Harley and there IT was, seemingly mocking me. Like staring into the blazing inferno known as the Sun, it hurt to look at it yet I found it nearly impossible to look away. It had me under it’s spell and I couldn’t figure out why. No flashing lights, no Disco Ball, nothing whatsoever to really draw ones attention to it. Yet there it was, proudly displayed for all to see. Only about five inches by about eight inches or so, not like a giant Billboard on the side of the freeway. Yet, judging by it’s impact on me, it might as well have been. In small, one inch high letters, for all to see, it read “OLD GUYS RULE!” WTF???

I say proudly because he keeps his bike super clean and I’d be shocked if there was anything mounted anywhere on this bike the he didn’t feel was a reflection of his personality. From the full fairing with lowers right back to the saddle bags, this baby was meant to be a comfortable ride and ride it he does.

Weird then how the first thought that popped into my head was that this must be his Dads bike. Only one problem, his Dad doesn’t live in San Diego and he surely would never leave it at his sons house anyway. His Dad loves to ride, so he’d have his bike with him at all times. Nope, this HAS to be the Harley that I’d heard about him buying a few months ago. The one he picked out himself, his “Baby”.

So, what gives? How in the hell could he have something like this on his cycle? If it wasn’t meant to be there, perhaps from a previous owner or something of that sort, he sure as heck would have already taken it off and if I had anything to say about it, it would have gone straight in the trash.

After all, he’s only a year or so older than I am. Matter of fact, we both graduated from High School the same year so I’m havin’ all kinds of trouble wrapping my head around what I’m seeing. Who’s out of touch with reality here, him or me?

While I openly admit I’ve always had ‘trouble’ with age, especially mine, this was definitely something I wasn’t prepared for. Yes, as time goes by we all get older. But exactly when are you supposed to consider yourself an ‘old guy’? I guess if someone is younger than you are, hopefully quite a few years younger than you are, then perhaps they can look at you as an ‘old guy’ but when you’re the one calling yourself an old guy, that’s when it gets weird. It does for me anyway.

Kinda like the first time somebody calls you ‘Sir’. “Excuse me SIR.” “Can I help you SIR?” “Right this way, SIR!” Talk about sending shivers up your spine. Not the warm ‘n’ fuzzy kind of tingles either. More like Edward Scissorhands relentlessly dragging his ‘scissors’ across a chalkboard. YIKES!!!

My mind raced, not knowing whether or not I should even bring it up. How on earth could he consider himself to be an old guy? I did my best to take into consideration the fact that at this point he must weigh over three hundred lbs. and perhaps the fact that he struggles to walk around, not to mention just getting up out of a chair is a workout, might have something to do with his feeling old. Not that I can run a four minute mile or that I go to the gym five days a week but in my opinion I still get around ok. Well, for an old guy anyway.

Could it be just a matter of numbers? At sixteen, you get your Drivers License. At eighteen you’re allowed to vote. At twenty one you’re FINALLY allowed to drink alcohol and at forty nine you’re officially an Old Guy? Not cool, that’s for sure.

You hear people say all the time that age is just a number and you’re only as old as you feel. Now that I think about it, seems like it’s always the older folks that say this, not the younger ones.

When it comes right down to it, I still feel like I’m twenty nine and in actuality, I say that mostly out of guilt because in reality I still feel like I’m twenty three. But it seems wrong for me to even say that. Kinda sounds like I’m being immature and not facing facts. Not facing the fact that I’ve seen forty nine Xmas’, not twenty three.

OK then, who’s out of touch here? Him for throwin’ in the towel early and calling himself an ‘old guy’ or me for not allowing myself to face the reality that in todays world, I just might be an old guy too? Such a dilemma.

My Cousin just turned forty and it brought back a flood of memories, all the thoughts that had gone through my mind when I turned forty. No doubt she was a bit freaked out about it or at least I would imagine she was. Everybody builds it up to be such a major milestone in ones life that it’s pretty much guaranteed to have a huge impact no matter how much you try to go with the flow.

Even though they say that forty is the new thirty, you can’t help but wonder if all the so called ‘fun’ that you had in your twenties and thirties will now be replaced by a never ending downhill slide, grasping at anything you can hang on to before you slide off that huge cliff known as fifty on your way to that giant pit of quicksand known as sixty, slowly sinking your way down to your seventies and beyond. Well, let’s hope you continue on anyway.

I’ve got news for her. As with everything else in life, perception plays a huge part in your outlook and more than ever before, attitude IS everything. It’s entirely up to you. You can choose to be grateful for all you’ve seen, done and accomplished throughout your life or you can choose to wallow in the regrets from all you haven’t. The choice is yours and no one elses. Choose wisely.

As for me, I’m doing my best to let go of my regrets. While I haven’t come close to conquering this issue entirely, I’ve gotten much better at letting go and not continually beating myself up over the choices that I’ve made, both good and bad, throughout my life. After all, I surely can’t change the past and to continue feeling guilty about it doesn’t do me one bit of good. Again, I’m a work in progress.

One of my favorite sayings has always been “When all is said and done, the only regrets we’ll have are the risks we didn’t take” and it really helps me move forward. Not to say that as this pertains to dating and asking women out, I still tend to let the fear of rejection hinder me much more than I’d like it to but overall, I feel I’ve made great strides in this area as well.

I guess what it really boils down to is that he and I are both looking at our age from different vantage points. He’s been working for the same Company pretty much his entire life and it’s paid off in a big way. He’s just about to take early retirement and really looking forward to it. Me on the other hand, I’m the flake that never really stuck with any job longer than I had to and therefore it looks like I’ll be working for quite a few more years. Not that I wouldn’t like to retire early, hit the EZ Button and just cruise through life from here on out but that’s just not in the cards for me.

But I’d have to think that that might have some effect on his perspective on life. He’s lived his life according to the basic ‘schedule of life’ set out by those that came before him. In fact, he did it so well that he’s actually ahead of schedule and I can’t help but give him tons of kudos for a job well done. Obviously I never could have pulled it off, it’s just not ‘me’ to be one of the ‘herd’ so I give him all the credit in the world.

And maybe somewhere on this ‘schedule’, there’s a certain date circled where you officially become an ‘Old Guy’. Again, if there is such a date it’s very apparent that I never got the memo. It’s just as well because had I gotten the memo I surely would have torn it up and thrown it away anyway.

I’ve spent my entire life refusing to allow myself to get old. Marriage, kids, all those types of things were for old people. Definitely not for me. It’s funny though, now that I’m at a point in my life that I’d love to get married and travel the world with my wife, my life partner, she’s seemingly nowhere to be found. Apparently I waited too long. Guess I should have grown up just a little bit sooner.

But that doesn’t mean I intend to allow myself to grow old. Nope, not me. In my opinion the minute you do that, the second you allow yourself to ‘think’ and to ‘feel’ that you’re old, in essence you’ve given up and there’s a rockin’ chair in your immediate future. The way I see it, Fifty is the ‘new’ Thirty! Apparently deep down I’m still a ToysRus Kid because I just don’t wanna grow up.

And if you EVER see me drivin’ down the road with an Old Guys Rule license plate frame, feel free to call the Cops because at that point I’ll more than likely have Alzheimers and I shouldn’t be driving anyway.

If you can relate to not wanting to grow up, let alone to get older, I’d enjoy hearing about it and if you liked this Post, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it with your friends.

I Just Wanna Cash In On My Passion

Bryan — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 18:57:49 +0000

Is that so wrong? Too much to ask? It’s the age old battle, I would assume pretty much since the beginning of time. How can I spend my days (or nights) doing what I love, following my passions as opposed to spending an entire lifetime following the rest of the sheep, herded along the freeways, taking the safe road to nowhere and needless to say not too happy about it?

After all, isn’t working at what you enjoy more or less like not working at all? Wouldn’t you much rather spend your days with a big smile on your face as opposed to a permanent frown? I know I would, that’s for sure.

And when you do something you’re passionate about, you end up with a much nicer end result. Such a wonderful feeling of accomplishment from a job well done. Can you just imagine the feeling of never wanting your day to end because you’re having so much fun? Only to be surpassed by the relentless amount of sleepless nights, laying there, so amped up thinking about all the things you want to accomplish the next day. Heck, who needs an alarm clock when you never actually fall asleep anyway. Hard to imagine lack of sleep being a ‘good thing’ but I guess in this case it would be.

No doubt that’s the life I wanna live. Knowing that tomorrow is going to be even better than today was. Wouldn’t that be the greatest life ever? I’d have to think so.

OK then, now that we know HOW we want our life to be, how do we go about creating the life of our dreams? In essence, how do we cash in on our passion?

First off, we need to identify what it is we are actually passionate about. Basically it comes down to a matter of deciding what it is you’d look forward to waking up and doing every day, rain or shine, regardless of whether or not you were getting paid to do it.

I can name a few things right off the bat. I’ve always had a passion for Antiques & Collectibles. The thrill of the hunt, the rush of the ‘discovery’, the interaction with the current ‘custodian’ as it relates to purchasing the object, overcoming my overwhelming desire to own every rare antiquity on earth & finding a ‘new’ caretaker and lastly, the ‘warm ‘n’ fuzzies’ I get from knowing that my ‘find’ is on it’s way to a new home, increasing the enjoyment of all others that get to view it. And then the process begins again. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose but it never seems to diminish the thrill of the hunt.

Another dream of mine, ever since I wrote my first short story back in Elementary School has been to be a Writer. Most likely fiction but as much as I enjoy writing from my heart, it’s entirely possible that I would also dabble in the non fiction genre a bit. As I’m sure you can tell I’ve never actually taken any writing classes or persued it in any way so perhaps it’s the fact that Stephen King and I share the same birthday (NO, not the same year!) that might have something to do with my passion for writing, I’m not exactly sure. One thing’s for certain though, I really love Blogging and would truly enjoy taking it to another level.

I’d have to say that the third thing on my ‘list’ would be painting Murals. My goal would be to learn how to paint Trompe L’ O’eil, “Trick Of The Eye” Murals for both indoor and outdoor applications. For those unfamiliar with this style of art, in essence it’s creating the realistic feeling of something that although you know darn well it’s not really there, it appears so realistic that you have to question yourself as to what you’re actually looking at.

This can be as simple as a Faux plaster finish on an interior wall, maybe a ‘window’ with a view of the vineyard in the distance all the way up to a giant ‘hole’ in the outside wall of a building, thereby allowing a ‘peek’ inside at the huge Bank vault within, containing all kinds of untold riches.

Of course, all of these scenarios are only limited by ones imagination. Unfortunately, this painting technique requires years of training and as such will have to remain a ways down on my list of ‘wannados’. Right next to scowering the oceans of the world in search of sunken Spanish Gallions and Pirate Ships. I’m so enthralled by the thought of uncovering undiscovered treasures, one of a kind artifacts, things that mere money can’t buy. I get tingles just thinking about it. I guess I have some sort of an Indiana Jones complex.

So with the last two ‘passions’ on my list being a bit out of reach (for now) it’s still entirely possible that I could make a go of the other two. I’m enamored with history and to be able to travel the globe in search of the ‘rarest of the rare’, ‘only one in existence’ type items, with unlimited funding from a long list of interested buyers eagerly anticipating my next ‘find’ would truly be a dream come true. To peruse thousand year old buildings throughout Europe in search of who knows what and learning everything I can about the countries and their cultures would just be icing on the cake. And then to top it off, if I could write about my adventures along the way. My life truly would be a dream come true.

So with all that being said, now comes the difficult part. How do I go about creating this so called ‘dream life’. How do I bridge the ‘gap’ between following my passions, in hopes of making money rather than merely trying to find something that will keep me afloat for now, another ‘quick fix’, regardless of whether or not I enjoy it. No doubt it’s gonna take a huge leap of faith on my part to even remain focused long enough to give it a shot.

Especially in todays turbulent world, it can be very difficult to risk everything (or in my case what little I have left) to take a chance on living a life full of fun & pleasure. Not that there are any guarantees of making money these days by following a safer, risk free path yet it can still be much more dangerous to climb out on the ledge and take a leap of faith, hoping for a smooth landing.

If you’re anything like me, I grew up thinking that work was a necessary evil we were all forced to endure in order to survive. Definitely not something to look forward to, that’s for sure. Anything you wanted to do or enjoyed doing would have to be squeezed in ‘after’ work hours.

Getting over that ‘guilt trip’ is a challenge in itself. Let alone coming up with a way to monetize my passions. It’s no wonder I never attempted this transition to fun and freedom prior to this, it appears to be a road filled with land mines, all of them just waiting to explode.

Should I even allow myself to dream of such a fantasy life, a life of traveling around the world in search of the unknown? An endless list of anxious buyers, eagerly awaiting my latest Blog Post direct from a beautiful white sand beach in Bora Bora, boasting of all my newly found treasures. A life where my biggest problem is where to have these treasures shipped and remembering which bank account in Monaco I want the money to be deposited in. I get the warm ‘n’ fuzzies just thinkin’ about it.

I guess what it truly comes down to is the fact that it’s entirely up to me to change my life. To create the life of my dreams. No one else is gonna do it for me, that’s for sure. In fact I’ve come to realize that mentioning to others about how you plan on changing your life for the better only brings out feelings of animosity and then the negativity begins to flow. “How dare you try to enjoy your life when I’m stuck here at my 9 to 5 job, kids, mortgage, car payments, living paycheck to paycheck and no way out.” At least from those that still have a ‘regular’ job, not exactly a gimme in todays economy.

I’ve always known I wasn’t a 9 to 5er, yet I lived that life for many years. It was a miserable existence and one I’m not eager to go back to. I enjoy Real Estate (at least the way it USED to be) but until the RE Market comes back, not much guaranteed income there either. Hmmmm, what is it then that I’m really risking here? No wife, no kids, no mortgage, maybe there really is no better time than now to give this thing a shot. Why not? Why not cash in on my passion? The only thing stopping me….is me.

I’m evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they’re letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

The best blogging techniques.
How to get traffic to your blog.
How to turn your blog into money.

I’ll let you know what I think once I’ve had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it’s still free.

XMAS SUCKS! There…. I Said It!

Bryan — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 19:56:04 +0000

Yep, that’s what I said. Christmas really does suck. Not sure if I’m the only one that feels this way or just the only one with enough guts to say it out loud. And I really can’t say when it all changed but it’s just about the most miserable time of the year for me. Matter of fact, this time of the year has sucked for so long that I can barely remember far enough back to when it didn’t suck.

Strange though, how some of the greatest memories I have are memories of Xmas’ past, yet now I literally dread this time of the year. I can still recall relentlessly shaking every box under the tree, doing my best to figure out just exactly what Santa brought me.

Always hoping for a rattle, clunk or a knock of some sort. At the very least a bit of “weight”, insuring a cool toy. But I can still remember the pain and disappointment of the “quiet” boxes which signalled the impending let down of socks or a sweater. And needless to say I always checked the boxes that were addressed to my sister. Surely I couldn’t have her getting more “rattlers” than I was, right? Right!

When did it all change? When did it take such a horrible turn for the worse? I don’t think it was upon discovering the fact that my parents had been lying to me this entire time. That Santa really didn’t exist and that he was just some made up fantasy. Some commercially driven “Guru” conjured up to guilt people into buying more “stuff”. No, that couldn’t have been it. I was too young to understand any of that and besides, I didn’t see any kind of a drop in my “under the tree box count” once Santa was out of the picture. There had to be more to it.

Perhaps it was when I had to start buying presents for other people, OUT OF MY OWN MONEY! What the heck was that all about? I mean c’mon, wasn’t Christmas all about receiving? As I would come to learn, it wasn’t after all and so I must admit coming to that realization did tarnish things a bit. As I write this, I’m kinda getting the drift that I might have been a bit spoiled back then. Jeez, who’d a thunk it?

It seems as if everyone is having the best time ever, enjoying friends and family and truly getting in to the Holiday spirit. But here I am watching the clock tick by at a snails pace, second after miserable second, just trying to survive until the ball drops somewhere on earth and I can start my New Year.

Originally I had planned on just ending 2009 a month early, getting a jump start on 2010 and bypassing this “season” altogether but I was hit with some devastating news around the end of November which left me in a total funk for the last few weeks. So I have no other option than to suffer through ’till the New Year.

To make things even worse, I can remember saying pretty much these same words last year at this time and promising myself that 2009 was gonna be different. It was going to be the year that everything changed for me, I got my life back on track and things started to go good for a change. Nope, never happened.

Do I dare give it another shot? Another attempt to make 2010 a great year? I’m not stupid enough to say that ’10 couldn’t be worse than ’09 because as we all know, things can always be worse and just as soon as you utter those words, they will become reality. Therefore, I won’t waste my time on the negative energy.

And yes, I know all about being grateful for what we have, not complaining about what we don’t have. It’s just that after another twelve months have flown by and I’m in even worse shape than I was at this time last year, the positive side of things is just a bit harder to find. Seems much further away, somewhere off in the distance. Matter of fact, kinda hard to see it at all now that most of the “shine” has been tarnished. Not even sure a 55 gallon drum of TARN-X could save them now. All those hopes, dreams and goals washed away.

Speaking of goals, what happened to all those goals that I had? All those dreams I had planned on coming true. I’ll be the first to admit that I hate playing the blame game but in this case I pretty much have to. Sure, it would be nice to say that “this” happened or “that” went wrong because of so and so but when it comes right down to it, there’s really nobody to blame but me. Yikes, that’s not exactly a great realization to come to. But the truth hurts and all the blame surely falls on me.

When it comes right down to it, nobody is going to change my life but me. Sure, things are gonna happen that force me to change my plans every so often and I’ll need to adjust my goals accordingly but that’s still no excuse for an entire year passing me by with nothing to show for it.

Were my goals too lofty, did I set the bar too high? I’d have to think not. I think it’s more along the lines of not taking enough action, not staying laser focused on what I wanted to accomplish, refusing to let anything stop me until I achieved them. Here again, the blame surely lies with me.

So here we are, with the end of 2009 drawing near. Do I dare make another list of goals and dreams? How can I not? I mean, isn’t that what this time of the year is all about? Trying to make your life better and not repeating the same mistakes you made the year before. And so with that I guess my first goal for 2010 is to make sure next Christmas doesn’t suck. I don’t want to have to look back at this post, change a couple numbers and copy and paste it to my blog. Nope, 2010 is going to be better. I just know it.

Add It To THE LIST!

Bryan — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 22:46:38 +0000

What is that saying again? A thought without action is just a dream? Something like that. Well, that truly seems to fit me perfectly. Lately anyway. Well, now that I think about it, for quite some time now I have had lots of trouble getting anything accomplished. While my mantra had always been, “Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?”, I had hoped to change that aspect of my personality. I’m sure there are others out there like myself. Oh, you know who you are. So many dreams, too much time. Paralysis by Analysis. The list goes on and on. I’m sure there is a bit of procrastinator in all of us.

Don’t get me wrong, this is surely not something that I am in any way proud of but as with any flaw, be it physical, emotional or otherwise, the only way to overcome and to get beyond it, in essence to recover from it is to first admit that there is a problem. Only then can it be conquered. Once and for all.

Where to begin? I’ve known that I’ve suffered from this ailment for quite some time but for some strange reason I just assumed it would disappear on its own. Yet it hasn’t. Go figure. Naturally I thought some kind of selective Mind Magic would just unprogram it from my brain and I would instantly run around getting all kinds of stuff accomplished. Yet, here we are, nearing the end of 2009 with no sign of a ‘dethroning’ in the near future. The King of Procrastination is alive and well. Unfortunately, he is me.

Not that I wouldn’t like to give up the throne, to crown a new King. Oh, how I would enjoy that but it’s not exactly as easy as one might think. Turns out there are many others equally as qualified as I am, yet they continue to procrastinate and never step up to assume this glorious position of power. Perhaps someone will in the near future but more than likely not. Only time will tell.

Time. It’s one of our most, if not THE most precious resource we have. One that we can never get back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever, never to return. Strange isn’t it, how we continue to waste it as if it’s a renewable commodity that will never end. Unfortunately, as far as I know, that is surely not the case. We only have one life to live. This isn’t a practice run, a dress rehearsal. This is it, the real deal, good or bad, for better or worse. This is the only chance we have to make it happen, to live the life we want, the life of our dreams.

Why is it then that we continue to put things off, excuse after excuse, merely to stay in our ‘comfort zone’? If your comfort zone is anything like mine, in actuality when you really think about it, it pretty much sucks. Worst part is that even though I know mine sucks, it’s still a place I like to hang out because for the most part I have a really good idea of what’s there and I guess that’s what makes it so comfy. Add to that the fact that it’s chock full of all kinds of excuses and who in their right mind would ever want to leave such a fabulous place? Well, I for one. I’m sick and tired….of being sick and tired.

All of the changes that I had planned on making after 2008, which up to that point in my life had been one of the worst years on record, have definitely not even begun to materialize. Not in the slightest and while I truly believed that with all the devastation of that year, 2009 just HAD to be better but in fact it turned out to be even worse than ’08. Now that’s saying alot and none of it good.

So with ’09 coming to a close I’m being forced to ask myself how could this have ever happened? With ’08 being so miserable, how did I not learn from that? I was without a doubt going to do everything in my power to make ’09 so much better. Why then didn’t all my scheduled ‘changes’ take place? After all, they were on my List of things to do. Some of them were even labeled Top Priority! You know, The List. The list that for some reason continues to get longer rather than shorter. Check one thing off, add two, check another off, add two more in it’s place.

Hmmm, I think I’m beginning to see a pattern here. No wonder any feelings of accomplishment that might possibly occur are quickly wiped away by the vast amounts of Post Its strewn about my desk and the surrounding walls. Ok, also the ones on the bathroom mirrors, refridgerator doors, car dashboards, you get the picture. Next thing you know, you’re swimming in a sea of ‘post its’ wondering how in the hell am I ever going to tackle all this stuff? And so at that point you have no option other than to just hop on the EZ Train. Next stop, the Comfy Zone! Overwhelmed with Paralysis by Analysis and Precision Indecision, it’s very easy to head for the Fountain of Excuses. That endless gold mine of built in reasons for never getting anything done.

Like it or not, this all comes right back to me, falling in my lap with a huge thud. Dang it! Not that I like to play the ‘blame game’ but with all my high hopes, how on earth could this be my fault? Yet it is my fault, nobody else I can lay the blame on. Even with all my great intentions, apparently I rarely seem to take action on any of my thoughts and as such they continue to remain in the dream stage. Who’d a thunk it? Me, of all people. I used to be the guy that would set a goal and follow through on it but obviously that has all changed. It’s not that I give up. It’s more that I guilt out.

That’s it, time’s up! I refuse to lose again in 2010! I have got to come up with a way to remember the misery of the last two, make that three years to insure that 2010 is not a repeat performance. How do I go about that? What is the best way to guard against continuing this downward spiral, allowing me to redirect my life in a more positive direction and moving forward on a more positive path towards achieving all of my goals?

Seems to me that the first thing I need to do….is to do the first thing. That should be simple enough, right? That appears to be where most of my troubles begin, with a failure to even take that first step. It’s not so much the fear of failure as I have pretty much always been able to do anything that I set my mind to. But it’s more the inability to even choose which step to take first, to make a decision on which direction to take and to stick with it long enough to know for sure if it’s the path I should be taking or not. Lately I seem to bail on my choices shortly after getting started out of pure guilt, a nagging fear that I am wasting too much time, yet I have wasted so much time already by not following through on anything. Which of course only leads to more guilt. What a vicious cycle.

This has got to change and so with that, I will somehow force myself to pick a direction and see it through so that I know for certain that I’ve explored it’s full potential. Right or wrong, at least I will come away with the satisfaction of knowing I gave it my best shot.

Of course along with that comes the fact that I will have to change my mantra. Something more along the lines of “Why put off until tomorrow, what I CAN do today?” Hmmm, I think I like that one better anyway. From here on out I will be relegating the throne to whomever may want to take over my kingdom. Needless to say, only true procrastinators need apply. I’m going to build a new Kingdom, one of my own choosing. Not one I inherited by default but one that I created, filled with all the hopes, dreams and accomplishments of which I know I’m truly capable of yet I have postponed for a lifetime.

So that also means it’s time for a new List. Not merely another Post It tacked on top of the millions of others but an entirely clean slate. This time I will also force myself to check items off at relatively the same pace at which I am adding other items to it. First thing on the list? Take Action! CHECK!!!